Although I hate shopping, I had to go to the mall this weekend to buy some presents. It was pretty packed, as the mall was having big President's Day Sales. We drove around and around with no luck. The only spot open was 1 of only 3 maternity parking spaces near the doors. Angus asked why we didn't park there and I explained it was because I wasn't pregnant and that the spots were specifically for pregnant women who would have a harder time walking into the mall from far away.
On our fourth go around, we finally spotted a space fairly close to the doors. All the kids were cheering when I pulled in and parked. As we walked towards the doors, we watched as a huge Hummer pulled into the one and only maternity spot left open. While waiting for a car to pass us, I got mad when I saw a short, tubby man jump down from the driver's side of the Hummer and walk ahead of us into the mall.
Oldest, who is the law enforcer of the house, immediately yells out in her high carrying voice,"Hey, he's not a pregnant lady! That's against the rules! He can't park there! What if a pregnant lady comes and there is nowhere to park?" Tubby man starts to walk faster. Ok - usually I hush the girls right up before they can say rude and impolite things to people, but here was someone who deserved it. So smiling evilly, I forced the girls to keep pace right behind him.
Youngest shouts out, "But he has a big fat tummy like a pregnant lady! Maybe he's pregnant too!"
This is too ridiculous for Oldest who then says, "Don't be silly, men can't get pregnant."
Angus yells, "I know! He's pregnant with too much food that he ated! And he has to go poo poo!"
"Ill, ill, ill! You are so nasty!" The other two scream and laugh as Mr. Tubby begins to speed walk/trot away as fast as he can. Hopefully a lesson has been learned, but I doubt it. I slow down, now that Mr. Tubby is too far away and I turn to my middle child.
"Angus, why is everything about pooping with you?" I ask.
"Because poop is funny!" she replies.
25 comments:
i am sooo with angus....poop is funny.
This man truly deserved this treat from the trio of your kids.
I don't think poo is funny...but yourd kids are!
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
hahahaha
hope that guy learned his lesson!
That IS some funny shit! I love those girls!
Angus is my hero. "Poop is funny". I love that. He he.
Thanks for sharing this. Great post!
Oh Ell, I needed a good laugh this morning! I hope that guy learned a lesson, too!
That was too funny. he should have been embarassed enough to move his car. Apparently, he could have used the walk. Your kids are hilarious. I love it! :*)
this was great...that man deserved taunts from your kids. they were only pointing out the fact that he shouldn't have parked there!
And it always will be. :)
Hummer+parking in a maternity spot=taunt-worthy.
Your kids need their own sitcom, Ello! Priceless stuff.
You know, Angus is right there. Poop IS funny. I'm glad the kids gave the hummer guy what for.
you fab four are furious and funny!=D
The entire incident was funny. And I love your LOVE Award, Ello...but what would the short, fat guy think? ;)
Excellent!! I'd like to give you an award for perfect parenting! Sometimes the world needs to hear what comes "out of the mouths of babes"-- they are undiluted by propriety and usually quite fair and accurate!
I hope the guy thinks about it every time he sees a maternity parking space from now on.
:D
Very funny. I hope you reported him to the people at the mall.
Great stuff, Ello. And for true poetic justice, I hope a pregnant woman's water broke all over him as he cut in ahead of someone in the express line -- as he almost certainly did.
You can't argue with this one -- Angus is right -- poop IS funny!!!
What a jerk that guy was in the hummer -- but is it really a surprise that he'd do that?? Those kind of guys think they "own" the road.
yup.
Poop is funny. You're right there.
Out of the mouths of babes...
That is some funny poop.
Angus says the darndest things. I'm glad you're recording all of these. They'll come in handy when she's old enough to date -- you know as embarrassing threats ;)
Mall vigilantes vs.
Asshole.
~it's a wonder Child didn't point that out to you about the "poo"~
You should have urged them on.
Ah, the wisdom of children. ;) *L*
I sure hope that guy heard you.
Hooray for four-foot law enforcers!
When my son was around five or six, he spotted a sign while in a take-out restaurant with his father. He tugged on his dad's arm and said, "Daddy, I'll bet The Mask can't come in here."
"Why?"
"Because there's no SMOKIN'! (a la Jim Carey)
I just loved this story! You have great kids.
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