Thursday, July 24, 2008

Little Lawyer

The other day Oldest and I were chatting about camp, school, life, High School Musical and other topics of great importance to a 9 year old. We were having a lovely chat when she looked at me seriously and told me, "Mommy, I don't want to grow up. I want to be little and stay with you and daddy forever." Now this is nothing new. She, and the other two have been saying this for a long time. But this time she was so very serious. And this time, she is nearly as tall as I am. I can tell she doesn't like the fact that she is getting so big and can't easily curl up on my lap. She looks with envy at youngest who is still small.

"I never want to be apart from you!" Oldest announces.

"Well you say that now, but you might change your mind when you grow up," I say.

"NO! I will never change my mind!" she shouts. "I don't want to get married! I don't want to have babies! I just want to stay with my family forever."

"Oh that's so sweet," I say. "I should put that in a contract and make you sign it! Also put in a clause that you will never put Mommy and Daddy in a nursing home!"

"What's a contract?" Oldest asks.

"It's a legal document and it just puts in writing an agreement between people," I explain.

"But why would you need a contract?" Oldest asks suspiciously.

"Well I'd put it in your memory box to remind you of what you said. Cause people change their minds as they grow older."

"Well I said I wouldn't change my mind!"

"I know, hon, but you never know..."

"And what's a nursing home?" she asks.

"Don't worry about that sweetie, just agree that you will never put Mommy and Daddy in one and everything will be just fine."

"Well, a contract sounds like a good idea, but maybe you should also put in stuff about how much allowance I get and what my chores are and what the other girls chores are, you know?" Oldest asks.

"Uh huh," I mutter.

"I mean I should get more allowance as I get older, right? And when can I get my own phone? And when am I allowed to wear makeup? And what about Angus and Youngest? Don't they have to sign too? And I think you should put in that they are not allowed to play with my stuff unless they have my permission..."

"Ha Ha, I was just joking about the contract?" I cut her off. "Ha ha! Big joke! Forget I said anything. Just go play."

Later on I hear the three girls playing together when suddenly I hear Angus yell out, "What do you mean I have to give you my pokemon cards if I touch your stuff without your permission! I'm not signing that!"

Uh oh.

28 comments:

Lana Gramlich said...

Fortunately minors can't enter into legal contracts, so everyone does have an "out" if necessary. Sounds like that contract Oldest wanted would've rivalled the best that the Disney Corp. could produce on a GOOD day. Perhaps she should consider a career in law...if she ever actually decides to leave Mommy & Daddy. ;) *L*

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moonrat said...

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaa

Aerin said...

what moonie said

:)

Merry Monteleone said...

I heart your kids, Ello....

I actually laughed out loud, too funny.

pacatrue said...

My older brother did the classic "can I just get your autograph for fun?" trick with the rest of the paper covered up. Can't remember anymore what contract I had signed, but it wasn't pretty.

Charles Gramlich said...

Did you ever read "The Tin Drum?" Show her the movie made from that and I think she'll want to grow up.

JaneyV said...

LOL that's priceless! Thank goodness I put my tea down before reading the end - that would've been messy!

jjdebenedictis said...

I mean I should get more allowance as I get older, right? And when can I get my own phone? And when am I allowed to wear makeup?

She's not so in love with staying little as she thinks she is...

Precie said...

That's FANTASTIC! With parents who are both lawyers, how could Oldest not become cautious and specific when considering what to sign her name to?! And LOL at her implementing contracts with Angus.

March to the Sea said...

i bet, come 13 of 14 she won't want to be around you. (no offense we expect the same with our oldest!)

Demon Hunter said...

LOL. Too funny, Ello. Kids are so smart and they pick up things so easily. :-)

Travis Erwin said...

What is they say about the apple?

Melissa Marsh said...

How adorable!

pjd said...

I think you live too close to DC. You need to get your children away from the influence of that culture before they turn into politicians. Or, worse... lobbyists.

Paca: as a little brother, I feel your pain.

Steve Malley said...

Freakin' BRILLIANT!

Thanks for the laugh!!

Larramie said...

Can you imagine them all living at home...forever? :)

Sarah Hina said...

It's in the blood, Ello! Might as well get used to it...

Your next book needs to be about 3 precocious sisters and their indomitable mom. Really. I want to read more! :)

writtenwyrdd said...

Ah, a budding lawyer! You'd best get that contract signed right quick!

So funny!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

LOL! She catches on fast. And shows the makings of a lawyer perhaps? ;-)

Bernita said...

What a kid. Perfect title.

cindy said...

haha! i always love it when our "jokes" get turned on us. *sighs* i love your girls!

Robin S. said...

Both of my girls did the Peter Pan female version thing - the youngest went on for a while with it. At first I wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn't raise independent children, then I realized I could - and they felt free enough to tell me the truth, which is a big deal.

Sounds like yours can as well (not that I didn't already have that one figured out!!!) You go, girls!
All four of ya.

Mom In Scrubs said...

What a compliment to you and Da Man that your kids don't want to ever leave home!! I'll give you that it would be kinda scary if they actually intended to fulfill this prophecy...still, it's a nice thought sometimes when you see them growing up so fast.

J. L. Krueger said...

I hope you save this post...ours said similar things...then they turned into TEENAGERS! ARRGH!

It will be good to show her when she goes through that "evil teen" stage.

The Anti-Wife said...

Three more future lawyers! Congratulations!

Mary Witzl said...

My kids used to say this too! I used to praise how big and beautiful they'd gotten and wonder aloud how much more wonderful they would get. They used to get jealous when I admired the babies of friends and thought they were cute...

And Jules has visited you too! Now I'm wondering if he's said the same thing to all the girls.

laughingwolf said...

lol... sounds like my three, when they were wee ;)

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