Awhile ago I blogged about this wonderful new treat sensation I had found called kisyu ume. I thought for sure that this was the worst thing masquerading as a sweet treat that I had ever had, but I have discovered that I was terribly wrong. Terribly, horribly wrong.
I love ice cream. I believe it is the best invention in the entire world. I personally don't understand vanilla eaters. Vanilla is good but chocolate is so much better! And what about cookies and cream? Fudge ripple? Mint chocolate chip? Ice cream is heaven on a cone. I can't get enough of it. I adore all these different ice cream flavors! They make me happy... except maybe the Japanese version of our Baskin Robbins 31 flavors. Below is a selection of fabulous Japanese ice cream:
At the top, the second ice cream top showing, we start with the very innocuous ramen flavored ice cream. Noodle ice cream flavor. That's fine. I can deal. The one next to it has a picture of a stalk of wheat so I thought it might be bread ice cream. Nope it is malt beer ice cream. I wonder if there is any alcohol content in it?
Aw come on, you say! What's with the weak stuff? Alright, I hear you. You are way more adventurous. Let's start with the first ice cream on the second row with the green top - good old wasabi ice cream. Horseradish ice cream. Perhaps you are supposed to eat it with your sushi instead of after? Well go ahead and blow out your nasal cavities with it. When you are done, why don't you skip over to the last ice cream on the second row with the yellow top that looks like a horse's head. No! You gasp. What new vileness can this be? Don't say it Ello, it can't be... Oh yes, I will Wilbur! It's HORSEMEAT ICE CREAM!!! After a nice day at the racetrack, come and have a cold, smooth cone of horsemeat! It will make you neigh with delight!
And if horsemeat is not your thing, go ahead and pick up the flavor right below it. You know, the one with the figure of a boy with a turban. Yes I know there is a boy on the cover. No it is not testicle ice cream. I don't think they make that. At least not yet. How about Indian curry ice cream. For those of you who seek some spice with their dessert. Because sweet should also be spicy. Really spicy. Curry spicy that is. Someone somewhere out there was playing around in the kitchen and decided that milk, sugar, cream would be a perfect base for chicken curry. And that person is just so very special.
Wait a minute, you say. What about ice cream for the seafood lovers here? Say no more, say no more. The first ice cream on the bottom row is fish egg ice cream. Hey you can call it caviar ice cream if you want, if it makes you feel posh. Oh salty treats of fishy goodness! Let those little fishy egg sacs burst in your mouth and mix that oily fishy goodness with the milk, sugar, and creamy goodness of the ice cream.
What say you? None of these are hitting your sweet spot? Speak up! I can't hear you with the vomit gurgling in your mouth! Oh you need something more special? Ok, I've got it for you. Here you go:
Octopus ice cream. Cause nothing says summer time like a nice refreshing scoop of octopus ice cream with perfect sucker encrusted tentacles for your crunching pleasure. And if you are really lucky, one of the suckers will still be in working order and stick to your tongue while you try to eat it. How awesome would that be? Enjoy!