Monday, May 23, 2011

And the Winner is....

Congratulations to Pointy Star! You were randomly chosen by the random number generator to win the 2 signed copies of Huntress and Fury of the Phoenix!

Please email me at helloello@ellenoh.com with your address and I shall mail you out the prizes!

In other news, my parents are big gardeners. They have a passion for it. Me, I have the black thumb of death. I am known as the cactus killer. I still don't know how I do it. I must emit toxic fumes to plants. But my parents can grow flowers out of rock. It's amazing. So when they come to stay at my sister's place (I have no garden since I'm in a townhouse) they love gardening. They've spent the past 3 years cultivating a large peony bush in my sister's front yard. Well this year, for the first time, the peonies began to bloom. My parents were so excited. Finally this past weekend they began to open up. My parents got to enjoy it for all of one day and then some jackass came in the middle of the night and cut every single peony bloom off leaving the bush completely naked.

My parents laughed about it and shrug the whole thing off. They just hope someone is enjoying their beautiful peonies. They are much nicer than me because I'm wishing that particular someone a plague of a thousand mosquitoes on them. They desecrated 3 years of my parents hard work and they left them with nothing to show for it. We didn't even get to take a picture to memorialize the results of all their hard work. And that just kills me. They didn't even leave one flower behind! And there were over twenty blooms! Why did they have to take them all?

A plague of mosquitoes isn't enough. May they be infested by a plague of every evil creepy crawly insect known to man, and then some. May boils cover their body and then burst out with maggots. May they burp scorpions and fart snakes.

My parents just said - May they enjoy the beauty of the flowers and come to appreciate what it took to grow them and perhaps realize the error of their ways...


All right, fine then. But at least may they step in a pile of dog poo and track it all over their house before realizing what it is. Then I shall be satisfied.

See? I can compromise.

3 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

Too many people are happy to reap the benefits of others' hard work. So sad.

beth said...

That is...icky. Who steals flowers? It's not like they needed them to live (i.e. stealing bread for your starving family). How could some get enjoyment out of beautiful flowers, knowing they stole them?

The writer in me wants to think that it was a love-struck young man, desperate to impress the young lady in his life, too poor to present her with anything else.

The vengeful side of me hopes she turned him down anyway.

Kim Kasch said...

I love Beth's spin on a sad story.

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