I've always wanted to become a writer but I didn't take it seriously until the spring of 2007. Back then, I was 24 and newly married and—whoo boy!—I had stars in my eyes.
I'd get an agent within a month of querying!
I'd get a book deal for a gazillion dollars!
We all go through this phase, right? I mean, haven't we all dreamt about owning a book-tour yacht?
No? Only me?
1. Learn to deal with rejection.
I'll be honest: getting rejected never gets easier. It's always gonna sting. But if you want to succeed in this field, then you have to stop letting rejection cripple you. You have to keep forging ahead—even if your heart hurts like hell. Eventually the pain does ebb away and you'll be all the stronger for it.
2. For the love of God, please make some writing friends!
I know you're scared. You lurk on writing boards every day, but you're too shy to say anything. You're afraid to admit that you want to become a writer. You're afraid that people will laugh at you if you fail.
Oh, honey. Writing friends are the best! They encourage you, cheer for you, and buoy you up when times get tough. They're the only people who truly understand what you're going through...so why are you depriving yourself from such a rich support system?!
3. Finally, yet most importantly, learn to find balance.
Look, I know that you love to pursue things at full warp speed. When it comes to this writing thing, your mind is screaming at you to, "Get Published or Bust!" But this kind of mentality makes your emotions go haywire. For example, in December 2009, you spend over two hours crying over a rejection from an agent. Two hours! You could've spent that time watching a movie or baking cinnamon bread or, you know, revising your book.
So please find a couple hobbies outside of writing. Like painting. Or photography. Or signing up for that baking class you've always wanted to take. The key here is to balance out your life. Right now, you focus so much on writing that it blinds you from the other good things in your life. And that isn’t healthy.
Oh, you might also want to invest in a company called “Twitter.” Trust me. It’ll be for your yacht fund.
Good advice. especially the "find balance." I keep trying.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Caroline! I wish I could tell my past self to make writer friends, too. I guess it's better late than never. ;)
ReplyDeleteAll fabulous advice. Thanks for sharing. It is so hard to reach out to other writers before you are published because you are afraid of seeming pushy or not being taken serious or annoying the "real writers" but you do need to find that community of support because most writers are going to experience waits and rejections before finally making it.
ReplyDeleteNumber two really hit home for me. Writer friends have not only helped me with critiques, they also get it when I'm ecstatic over a personalised rejection or when I cry over a nearly-there rejection.
ReplyDeleteFantastic advice, Caroline, especially #2. Writing friends have kept me sane during this journey. And while family wonderful, it is so true that writer friends are the only ones to *really* understand what you're dealing with.
ReplyDeleteExcellent advice, Caroline! I'm so grateful for the writer friends I've met on the boards -- like Siski said, they not only help me improve my craft, the stand by my side for all the twists and turns of this roller coaster ride. On balance = yeah, still working that one out. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, good-humored advice. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
ReplyDeleteSatta king
ReplyDeletethis is superb!!!!!