My middle child met a woman in a store who spoke with a very prim and proper British accent. "You speak sort of funny," she says to the woman. "That's because I speak proper English," the lady replied. As we left the store, my middle child loudly whispers, "How come speaking proper English makes you sound so mad?" I think she meant snooty.
At the pool
During our Barbados trip, my oldest and I were sitting in the pool when we watched a young heavily tattooed and pierced woman in a very skimpy black bikini enter the pool. As she passed us, we couldn't help but notice that her bikini bottom was actually a thong. My daughter then asked if we could leave the pool right away. As we gathered our things and walked away, I asked her why she wanted to leave when she was having such a good time. She said, "Her butt was naked in the water. When I swim, the water goes in my mouth. That's just nasty." Enough said.
A Drummer is Born
I was standing in line at our crowded supermarket with my 3 year old. As I leaned against my shopping cart, my 3 year old, who was standing next to me, got behind me and began to slap me on my behind while singing the following lyrics to the tune of Jingle Bells:
"Bum bum drums, bum, bum drums,When I asked her to stop embarrassing me as people laughed their bum bums off around us, she responded with a cheeky "My Bad!"
Mommy’s bum bum drums!
Oh what fun it is to drum on mommy’s bum bum drums!"
The true meaning of Veteran's Day
Last week my husband was driving my oldest daughter and her best friend home from a soccer game when he asked them if they had school on Veteran’s day. “Yes” replied our daughter, “we don’t get it off.” “Do you know what Veteran's Day celebrates?” asked my husband. To which our daughter's best friend replied, “It’s a holiday for all the vegetable eaters.”
A Husband's real role
My middle child announced at dinner that when she grew up she would have seven pets. "Two cats, two dogs and two birds." She counts on her fingers, "Oh wait, that's only six! Oh yeah, and a husband!" My husband gives her a look and shakes his head, "I see Mom's got you trained already."
29 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i was going to leave a comment about which ever one was funniest, but they're all so funny i can't decide!
nice one(s). I like the day off for the veggie eaters...haha
Kids are great. I love their sense of humor (and the way they keep us humble).
Oh. My. LANTA. Those are hilarious! (Especially the last one!)
LMAO! I love these! LOVE them!
Like moonrat, I can't choose a favorite because they're all so great!
Are you sure you don't write these yourself?
I'm not sure what my 4-year old things a husband is. He frequently talks about what his husband is doing or where he is. One of the latest is that his husband is still in a mommy's tummy. Part of it is that he confuses the words cousin and husband, but I'm still clueless about this.
Oh, Ello, you and your husband have three incredibly bright and precocious daughters. How can you not laugh? Oh...now I remember, you cry! ;) Thank you for allowing us to laugh though.
And congratulations on your "Roar" Award!
Ello your kids are so funny...I'm still laughing...The last one I love because it's funny on every level...but the pool one was quite good...children are so very "aware"!!
Who needs to go out for expensive entertainment when one has kids?
I'm right there with Sherry! Have a great weekend, Ello!
Oh man, all of those were too funny! You got some comedians there. :)
Priceless!!!
I hope you're keeping a journal!!
I want to meet your children, but I'm sortof afraid....
:-)
I like your kids! The husband training - yeah- that's a scream.
And the in the water with the naked butt one - too funny!
Honestly, these kids crack me up every single day. I've taken to keeping a small notepad in my purse so I can scribble these gems whenever I hear them. I wish I could make this stuff up! Then I would make a good living as a comedy writer in hollywood what with the writer's strike and all. ;o)
Just so you know, one day my middle child is going to be a big star. That girl is so loud, funny and dramatic. I'm telling you - a big star!
These made my day! I especially liked the drummer incident in the shop, hahhah. But I liked the one with the husband being a pet the most.
(I found the one with the veteran's day embarrassing. Those parents of that kid are surely missing something., but also it depends on how old the kid is...)
Enjoy it now. It might not be so funny when they're teenagers.
I so enjoyed those kinds of things when Josh was young. Kid's see things so interestingly. I still use some of these stories from Josh's childhood when I teach about child development
What no pictures of the black thong? We should be left to judge for ourselves how nasty swimming in those waters would have been.
A holiday to celebrate vegetable eaters? I shudder at the thought.
SO very funny. I particularly like the Jingle Bell bums.
my kids are too big now for these types of comments so thanks for sharing these classics!
Hilarious. The three year old --jingle bells will never be the same.
Great kids, and I liked the one about the thong too -- and the snooty lady in the store! It is good that you are writing all these down; I did, and yet I missed so many funny things even still.
My daughters used to delight in talking in Japanese loudly when in the presence of people who were talking about us in Japanese. I think I enjoyed it almost as much as they did.
Ha! One and two are my favorites!
Too cute! I'm not a kid person but they certainly can say some funny things! Someone should write a book! Also, thanks for the praise and comments on my blog! I'm glad you like it so much and I can make you cry laughing! I aim to please. I really appreciate it! Thanks again!
Dear God. Are you sure your three daughters and my son aren't related?
My favorite was the drumming bums. THAT is definitely something you can use later in life to torment the girls in front of boyfriends! ha ha ha! A mommy's revenge is oh, so sweet!
Angelique
Dear ello---
You've just been tagged with a "Four Things You Don't Know About Me" meme! :)
how can i pick a fav?! all so funny!
I am so glad that my children are amusing others as much as they amuse me and Da Man. Thanks to everyone for commenting!
Precie - that means I have to think! On a MOnday? That's pretty hard...
Just lovely! :-) :-) :-)
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