Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Conversation with Dad

My Dad called the other day and said, "So all my friends want to know when your book is coming out."

"Me too!" I replied.

"What's taking so long?" he asked.

"I'm revising again." Yes, the never ending revision process...

"Still?! What the heck takes so long? It takes you 10 years to write a book about Korea?"

sigh.

"You'd better hurry already, all my friend's are waiting to buy your book!"

"I'm working hard on it, really I am," I said, quite peevishly. It's not like I procrastinate by surfing the internet for obscure historical tidbits about issues completely unrelated to my book. No, I didn't just waste 2 hours today looking up who invented chewing gum even though it is highly unlikely, even in my fantasy world, that my characters would actually chew gum.

"Well work faster! They're gonna tell all their churches about your book. Do you know how many Korean churches there are in this country? Over 4,000! Do you know how many Korean Americans? Over 1.5 million!!! And they all will buy your book, not like those other Korean books that complain about how they hate their parents, hate being Korean, hate kim chee, ,etc etc."

(I love the way my Dad says etc. "Etacetehrah, etaceterah!")

"They don't want to buy complaining books about how it is so hard to grow up Korean American and garbage like that. They sick of it! But your book they want to buy! Ancient Korea! Myths and legends! Big Hit!" This speech took like 10 minutes because he tends to have lots of meaningful pauses as he talks.

"Ummm, Dad, you've never even read my book..."

"So what? I know it's good because I helped you!"

This is true, my Dad did an amazing amount of research for me. He even translated several Korean books for me because I am Korean illiterate.

"And do you know that there is a Korean Association in every state?" he asked.

"Don't worry Dad, I'm going to hire you to promote my book!"

"If it ever gets published," he said.

Grrrrrrr.

"How about you publish it in Korea? They would love it!" he continued.

"I am illiterate in Korean, remember?"

"It's ok, I'll translate it for you... but I'll have to charge you..."

"Sure, but how will I know that you didn't try and change my words around or something?"

"Then you would see my name instead of yours on the cover."

Oh yeah.

"And don't worry, I will only charge you 50% of gross!"

Sheesh. He drives a hard bargain.

29 comments:

angelle said...

cute!!!

Barrie said...

I am laughing, laughing, laughing!

Kate said...

Awww, what a great conversation :)
Good rate :D

Mary Witzl said...
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Mary Witzl said...
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Mary Witzl said...

My dad was similar, Ello. He couldn't get over what a failure I was for teaching Vietnamese students in English. He figured I ought to have been teaching them English using Vietnamese, even though 80% of their classmates spoke only Japanese. The fact that I didn't know a word of Vietnamese didn't convince him, either...

And 50% of the gross? That's cheap!

Cheryl Kauffman said...

Your dad is so funny! Now I know where your girls get it from.

Stephen Parrish said...

Relatives keep writing to me, telling me they can't find my book in the bookstores. Apparently many (most?) people think a book is published the instant you finish it.

Christina Farley said...

I'm laughing hysterically. I'm with you girl!

Catvibe said...

I LOVE it. So, is he still going to love the book when it comes out? ;-) I have to tell you, we are very disappointed since moving here to Asheville, we meaning my father. Since leaving California, apparently we have also left Kim Chee behind. Oh, there are many Koreans here, to be sure. In fact, I've never seen so many Korean churches and associations, and so you would think Kim Chee would be everywhere, but, alas, that is a pipe dream. Nary even a Korean restaurant nearby. Sigh.... Korean food, and decent Chinese, gone. No Dim Sum here. It's enough to make me run screaming back to San Francisco, but instead I'll sit here chewing away on my organic vegetables, wondering where the flavor is.

Kelly said...

:) Dads are awesome!

moonrat said...

your dad should totally become a literary agent.

writtenwyrdd said...

Hahaha! That's a great conversation. And you should recognize how lucky you are that he's so unfailingly supportive. Even if he drives a hard bargain.

Aniket said...

LOL!!!

Your dad sure knows business! :D

And I've got just the video for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbksBk8ZHlQ

Charles Gramlich said...

I hope the Korean church goers buying your book thing works out. That would be...sweet!

Melissa Marsh said...

Gotta love it. Your dad sounds awesome.

Akasha Savage said...

Loved it. x

cindy said...

haha! you dad is so cute. and can i say how impressed i am that he not only helped you with translations / research but he knows the word "etc". wow. i don't think my parents do!

all of the corean churches in america are waiting for you, ello!!!!

Vivian said...

Oh, your dad is priceless! Love his enthusiasm and interest in helping you--even at 50% of gross. You're very lucky.

Kim Kasch said...

Try to remember Parents Aren't Perfect - we just expect our kids to be.

You'll be there soon - published - especially with that kind of support pushing you onward.

Then you'll forgot all these comments BEFORE

Kate said...

P.S.
You have some awards:
http://anotherbookblogwhore.blogspot.com/2009/05/blog-awards-yay.html

Precie said...

That's too cute! And just look at the built-in circulation...Your dad should be a publicist. :)

Carrie Harris said...

Snarf. :)

Angela Williams Duea said...

LOL, I guess parents are just the same no matter what heritage!

If I ever get to novel #2, I'm not going to tell my family until it's published.

beth said...

LOL! I love my mom for being so sure I'll be published and being my biggest cheerleader, but it's sometimes frustrating to have the "i don't KNOW when it will be published!!" conversation for the 800th time....

Patti said...

your dad rocks and is a shrewd bizness man ;)

Chris Eldin said...

It's really nice he's so excited for you. I think it's terrific he wants to be involved!!!
:-)

laughingwolf said...

etc! ;) lol

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

I had the exact same conversation with my dad three years ago, except Korea was Algeria, and Korean was French.

Three novels later, the book still isn't finished.

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