Once upon a time there was a little penguin named Ploppy. He had two friends named Pinky the pink mermaid and Penelope the purple dragon. One day Ploppy was thirsty and looked in his refrigerator but there was nothing to drink. Then he looked in his cabinet but all that there was was bags and bags of Funyuns and on the top shelf in the farthest corner there was a bottle of Frank's Red Hot hot sauce. So he decided to drink it.
At first he turned very pale. Then he turned bright red, then dark red, then red orange, then purple, green, blue and all the colors of the rainbow. His throat was burned and his tongue was on fire! He ran out into the snow and screamed "HELP!!!" Penelope the dragon and Pinky the mermaid were outside. Ploppy screamed "Help" again and fire shot from his beak. The fire burned off all of Pinky's beautiful pink hair.
"Quick!" Penelope said. "Eat the snow!"
Ploppy began gulping down piles and piles of snow until finally his throat no longer burned. He sighed in relief.
But Pinky was furious and hit Ploppy in the stomach with her strong tail.
Ploppy went "Ooooooof!" and then his stomach began to rumble louder and louder and faster and faster like a motorcycle. Then he said "Uh Oh!" Suddenly, the rumbling stopped and a humongous fart blasted him into the air, melting away all the snow, and burning off all of his feathers.
Pinky was satisfied and jumped into the ocean, away from the terrible smell. Penelope caught Ploppy before he hit the ground and took away his bottle of Red Hot hot sauce. Because only dragons should be allowed to breathe fire.