Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Random Ramblings or I couldn't think of anything else to blog about because my brain fell out of my head, rolled down a hill, and was eaten by a zombie

Thanks to everyone who gave me such wonderful comments, sent me emails, called me, texted me, and otherwise celebrated with me last week! You all are just fabulous and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated all of your kindness and excitement! It felt like my own private Mardi Gras. Especially because I didn't cook for 4 days straight. And then my best friend and her hubby, Syl & Stu, came down for the weekend and I didn't have to cook all weekend again!

So the great thing about S&S is that they are the biggest food lovers, like us. And of course when they came down, we had to go out to a nice celebratory dinner. During our fabulous meal, Stu spills red sauce on his shirt. Syl immediately whips out the Tide to go spot remover and he is able to blot out the spot, leaving a sparkling clean shirt behind. Marvelous stuff, right? Except it stinks of feet. WTF? Tide is the greatest smelling detergent in the world. How the hell did they make a stain remover that smells like a funky football locker room? Da Man's feet after a 10 mile run smell better than this stuff.

I have decided that Tide to Go will be my weapon of choice, not against stains - but against people I don't like. Like if you're standing in line at the bank and some jerk is talking loudly on the phone about his amazing stock portfolio and all the hot girls that keep calling him for dates. Simply take some Tide to Go and surreptitiously rub it all over the back of his jacket and he can spend the rest of the day wondering who the hell stinks like dirty feet and wondering why people keep backing away from him. Or some obnoxious woman that bathed in a bottle of cheap drugstore perfume stands too close to you, counter the perfume by covering her purse and coat with Essence of Stinky Toe Cheese, that way the two odors can cancel themselves out, or knock her out. Either way, you win! And what if you are being sexually harassed by some disgusting lowlife at the office. Simply lather Tide to Go all over your body and it should guarantee that the lecher won't come near you. Seriously though, how does a detergent company make a product that stinks so badly?

Ok so randomness aside, I've had a lot of emails asking me questions about my book, the sequels, Korean legends, where do I get my inspiration, how old I am, what's my favorite food, etc. I'm not sure what to tackle first and I don't know what is that interesting to my blog buddies. So I figured I'd approach some of these questions, but I want to also open up for more questions - interesting ones, random ones, that will help break up the possible boredom of me-centric questions. Like do I believe in reincarnation or why do I think fritos smells like feet. Ask me a question - any question, deep and meaningful, frivolous, shocking, etc. And I'll do my best to answer it.

And in the meantime, I'm going to go wipe Tide to Go all over Da Man's federal badge that he wears over his neck. Bet he gets halfway through his morning before he realizes where the hell the stink is coming from. he he.

7 comments:

Whirlochre said...

Son of Whirl can stain clothes that even the full suction power of a level 22 Vacu-bot Overlord armed with industrial strength Blitz Da Kozmozz can't shift.

Meanwhile, I think I may have found your head amongst the last of the shrivelled Christmas veg ejected from the fridge this morning.

What colour was it originally?

Happy to return it by air mail if you don't mind most of it having passed through a random member of my family a fortnight ago.

C.R. Evers said...

I hate when that happens to my brain.

lol, you crack me up. :0D

Charles Gramlich said...

I could use Tide to go when I eat at our lunchroom. every day.

Indigo said...

Hilarious! I would love to use 'Tide to Go' on a complete strangers who act as if my deafness is somehow - a)virulent, b)a sign of lack of intelligence, or c)make me suddenly disappear as if I'm not in the room, talking to them. Sweet revenge! (Hugs)Indigo

Nandini said...

OMG!!!! I've been living under a freaking ROCK!!!! I didn't even see any of your book deal announcements until now. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! HUGE HUGS!!! I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! OK now I'm going to calm down, get a cup of tea, and read all the deets properly. Twice. Woohoo!!!

lisha said...

I thought we were supposed to ask you a question. Here it goes:

Do you have a good recipe for a coconut curry soup?

Mary Witzl said...

Maybe it's not the Tide that stinks, it's the reaction of Tide with whatever was in that sauce? But for me, ALL detergents smell, even the ones with a powerful perfume-type fragrance masking the stink.

Limburger cheese beats just about anything if you're looking for a really good weapon of mass olfactory destruction. Though it's not as easy to carry as Tide, of course.

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