My neighbor was asking Youngest who she was more like Mommy or Daddy. To which she replied, "Well, I'm like both of them. I fart a lot like Daddy and I make big gigantic burps like Mommy."
I just want to point out that unlike farting, gigantic burps actually takes talent.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Random Funny Japanese Game Show
This show is so funny. It's a batsu game where Japanese comedians have to go to a high school which is a "no laughing" high school. All the teachers are comedians. If they laugh, they get beat with a kendo stick. You have to watch the video clip with the guy counting to 100. It's the best part.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Random Funny Things My Mom Says - Part 7
A little while back my buddy Moonrat did this awesome post on "Do I really want to be published?" that could have been written about me. In fact, it was. And as excellent as Moonie's advice has always been to me, I've never been able to get to that zen state about my book. Until now. Because my Mom did the smackdown on me. And it was good.
My folks came down this weekend for a visit. They've known that I've been under a lot of stress and were worried about me. The first thing my Mom says is to get off the laptop. "All that computer does is give you stress. Turn it off and come sit down and talk."
I turn off the computer and sit down, heart sinking for the lecture that I know is coming. It won't matter if I'm 60 years old, my parents are always going to lecture me. That's life.
"Ellen, why are you so stressed about this book?" my Mom asks. "Why don't you forget about it already."
"That's impossible, Mom. I just can't forget it."
"Not forget forever. Just for a little while," my Mom says. "Listen, don't be stuck on your book. Let it go and be happy. When you are happy, really happy, then go back to it. Nothing works when your brain is filled with stress." She rubs at the crease between my eyebrows. "Your brain is all filled with worry and stress and miserableness. Why you want to put that in your book? You put that in your book - who want to read it? Happiness makes your healthy. Healthy makes your brain happy. Then you write your book."
I nod and sigh. "It's not that easy..."
"Of course it's not easy." My Mom shakes her head at me. "You and your sister got your writing gene from your Dad. He's a great writer. Great newspaper columnist (my Dad had a column in the national Korean American paper for years). But then he write 3 books and they don't do good. He's depressed and give up writing. That's why he's worried about you girls. But I'm not worried. I know one day people will applaud me just for being your mother. You will be great one day. But don't rush it. You don't have to. I will live until I am 110! You have plenty of time. Don't rush."
I begin to laugh. "Thanks Mom. Maybe one day then it'll all work out for me. It's just hard when I see all my friends succeed and I wonder when it will happen to me." (My wonderful, fabulous critique group is made up of me and 3 authors who I knew from the day I first read their work that they would all be published because they were that good. And I was right. All 3 have book deals for 2011 - and I couldn't be happier for them.)
My Mom smiles and grabs my hands. "What kind of writer will you be? Some writers will write 10 books that are all forgettable. You will be the writer that writes one book, but it will be unforgettable. I believe in you. Some people lay eggs that turn into chickens - others lay eggs that turn into eagles. You are no chicken. You are an Eagle. One day you will soar."
"Funny - I thought you were going to say swan, but I like the eagle analogy better," I say.
"Swan, BAH! Only look good on outside. Open its mouth and the ugliest sound come out. Eagle is better. Look strong, look powerful, be strong, be powerful."
"Thanks Mom, you're right."
"Of course. I'm almost always right."
My folks came down this weekend for a visit. They've known that I've been under a lot of stress and were worried about me. The first thing my Mom says is to get off the laptop. "All that computer does is give you stress. Turn it off and come sit down and talk."
I turn off the computer and sit down, heart sinking for the lecture that I know is coming. It won't matter if I'm 60 years old, my parents are always going to lecture me. That's life.
"Ellen, why are you so stressed about this book?" my Mom asks. "Why don't you forget about it already."
"That's impossible, Mom. I just can't forget it."
"Not forget forever. Just for a little while," my Mom says. "Listen, don't be stuck on your book. Let it go and be happy. When you are happy, really happy, then go back to it. Nothing works when your brain is filled with stress." She rubs at the crease between my eyebrows. "Your brain is all filled with worry and stress and miserableness. Why you want to put that in your book? You put that in your book - who want to read it? Happiness makes your healthy. Healthy makes your brain happy. Then you write your book."
I nod and sigh. "It's not that easy..."
"Of course it's not easy." My Mom shakes her head at me. "You and your sister got your writing gene from your Dad. He's a great writer. Great newspaper columnist (my Dad had a column in the national Korean American paper for years). But then he write 3 books and they don't do good. He's depressed and give up writing. That's why he's worried about you girls. But I'm not worried. I know one day people will applaud me just for being your mother. You will be great one day. But don't rush it. You don't have to. I will live until I am 110! You have plenty of time. Don't rush."
I begin to laugh. "Thanks Mom. Maybe one day then it'll all work out for me. It's just hard when I see all my friends succeed and I wonder when it will happen to me." (My wonderful, fabulous critique group is made up of me and 3 authors who I knew from the day I first read their work that they would all be published because they were that good. And I was right. All 3 have book deals for 2011 - and I couldn't be happier for them.)
My Mom smiles and grabs my hands. "What kind of writer will you be? Some writers will write 10 books that are all forgettable. You will be the writer that writes one book, but it will be unforgettable. I believe in you. Some people lay eggs that turn into chickens - others lay eggs that turn into eagles. You are no chicken. You are an Eagle. One day you will soar."
"Funny - I thought you were going to say swan, but I like the eagle analogy better," I say.
"Swan, BAH! Only look good on outside. Open its mouth and the ugliest sound come out. Eagle is better. Look strong, look powerful, be strong, be powerful."
"Thanks Mom, you're right."
"Of course. I'm almost always right."
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Bureaucratic Indifference
As some of you who follow me on facebook and twitter know, I have been in a state of blind fury the last couple of days. I'd like to tell everyone what's been going on.
Oldest is 11 and in 5th grade. She is a volunteer Safety Patrol which means she wears a yellow belt and a badge and she makes sure the kids board the bus safely and behave on the bus. She also makes sure to take the kindergartners to and from the bus. That's her job. Except our bus stop is on a very heavily congested road with heavy rush hour traffic in the morning. We deal with speeders, honkers, jerks who try to beat the school bus, a very large elderly driving population, and lots of mercedes drivers. This is a very unsafe road. On top of this, even after 10 years of complaints, the Department of Transportation (DOT) has never done anything to address this situation even though there is no safe way for the kids to cross this dangerous street. There is no stop sign - no crosswalk. Ironically, there is a no left and no right turn on an intersecting street that goes into a nearby neighborhood. That sign was put up in order to protect the property value of that neighborhood because (1) the traffic on our street is so heavy that it would devalue the neighborhood and destroy the streets, and (2) a councilmember lives there. When some crazy vandal destroyed these signs 3 times last year, DOT sent a crew to fix that sign within days of it happening.
As you can see DOT values property value over children's safety. So getting back to my story. A parent who was nearly hit several times crossing the street with her young child harassed DOT so much that they finally sent an employee to our school bus stop to assess the situation. This woman went up to my 11 year old daughter and told her that it was her job as safety patrol to walk into the middle of oncoming rush hour traffic, hold up her hands and stop traffic in order to allow children to cross to the bus stop safely. Since when did we send children into danger to guarantee the safety of other children? Should we next give them a gun and tell them to stop crime also? This is a street even adults are afraid to cross, let alone try to actively stop traffic? Did I mention that we had an excessive number of mercedes drivers in the area? We have incredibly selfish assholes who will even race around a stopped school bus in order to not get stuck behind it. We are talking about people who don't care. And I should let my child walk into that?
What is most troubling about this episode is not that this county employee was so deeply misguided enough to endanger a child's life, but that in response to repeated attempts by parents to address the danger surrounding this school bus stop that this was the only response.
This employee told the complaining parent to have my daughter stop traffic for her. The parent was misguided enough to - the very next day - follow through on the employee's advice and tried to wave my daughter into oncoming traffic. I actually stood flabbergasted watching her insist my daughter come out into the street and my daughter shaking her head, over and over until finally the woman crossed on her own. My daughter knows that she is not allowed to cross this street and refused to do as the county employee demanded even though she was terribly intimidated by this woman. My daughter knew enough to stand her ground. But what if it was a different child who maybe was too naive to question authority? What if this employee had indeed persuaded a child to walk into traffic? That idea kept me awake at night.
I've made a big stink and called and wrote to everyone I could think of. Today the supervisor of the misguided employee came to observe and to apologize for the employee's mistake. They say that there are talks of getting stop signs in and crosswalks. I'm not holding my breath. Already I'm being given the bureaucratic run around in an endless game of hot potato as different offices pass the issue off to someone else. I've spent nearly a week making my arguments. I've warned the county of their negligence for failure to address the danger. I reminded them that legally there is a higher duty of care toward children. In the end, getting a stop sign and crosswalk in place will be much cheaper. And it will help save lives. Unfortunately, in these situations, it usually takes a death to justify the expense of change. And that is depressing.
Oldest is 11 and in 5th grade. She is a volunteer Safety Patrol which means she wears a yellow belt and a badge and she makes sure the kids board the bus safely and behave on the bus. She also makes sure to take the kindergartners to and from the bus. That's her job. Except our bus stop is on a very heavily congested road with heavy rush hour traffic in the morning. We deal with speeders, honkers, jerks who try to beat the school bus, a very large elderly driving population, and lots of mercedes drivers. This is a very unsafe road. On top of this, even after 10 years of complaints, the Department of Transportation (DOT) has never done anything to address this situation even though there is no safe way for the kids to cross this dangerous street. There is no stop sign - no crosswalk. Ironically, there is a no left and no right turn on an intersecting street that goes into a nearby neighborhood. That sign was put up in order to protect the property value of that neighborhood because (1) the traffic on our street is so heavy that it would devalue the neighborhood and destroy the streets, and (2) a councilmember lives there. When some crazy vandal destroyed these signs 3 times last year, DOT sent a crew to fix that sign within days of it happening.
As you can see DOT values property value over children's safety. So getting back to my story. A parent who was nearly hit several times crossing the street with her young child harassed DOT so much that they finally sent an employee to our school bus stop to assess the situation. This woman went up to my 11 year old daughter and told her that it was her job as safety patrol to walk into the middle of oncoming rush hour traffic, hold up her hands and stop traffic in order to allow children to cross to the bus stop safely. Since when did we send children into danger to guarantee the safety of other children? Should we next give them a gun and tell them to stop crime also? This is a street even adults are afraid to cross, let alone try to actively stop traffic? Did I mention that we had an excessive number of mercedes drivers in the area? We have incredibly selfish assholes who will even race around a stopped school bus in order to not get stuck behind it. We are talking about people who don't care. And I should let my child walk into that?
What is most troubling about this episode is not that this county employee was so deeply misguided enough to endanger a child's life, but that in response to repeated attempts by parents to address the danger surrounding this school bus stop that this was the only response.
This employee told the complaining parent to have my daughter stop traffic for her. The parent was misguided enough to - the very next day - follow through on the employee's advice and tried to wave my daughter into oncoming traffic. I actually stood flabbergasted watching her insist my daughter come out into the street and my daughter shaking her head, over and over until finally the woman crossed on her own. My daughter knows that she is not allowed to cross this street and refused to do as the county employee demanded even though she was terribly intimidated by this woman. My daughter knew enough to stand her ground. But what if it was a different child who maybe was too naive to question authority? What if this employee had indeed persuaded a child to walk into traffic? That idea kept me awake at night.
I've made a big stink and called and wrote to everyone I could think of. Today the supervisor of the misguided employee came to observe and to apologize for the employee's mistake. They say that there are talks of getting stop signs in and crosswalks. I'm not holding my breath. Already I'm being given the bureaucratic run around in an endless game of hot potato as different offices pass the issue off to someone else. I've spent nearly a week making my arguments. I've warned the county of their negligence for failure to address the danger. I reminded them that legally there is a higher duty of care toward children. In the end, getting a stop sign and crosswalk in place will be much cheaper. And it will help save lives. Unfortunately, in these situations, it usually takes a death to justify the expense of change. And that is depressing.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
WINNERS OF DRIED SQUID!!!
Thank you everyone for bearing with me through construction turmoil, sickness, grading hell, whining children, surly husbands, and my Mom who is in a whole other category of her own - as she should be. This semester is almost over for me and I am so happy that I think the twitch that took up residence under my left eye is finally ready to leave me. I actually have begun reading blogs again on my google reader! Hurray! And my google reader no longer says 1000+!!! It now says 498! Woo hooooo! So much progress. So much relief. So much joy.
Yesterday Angus asked me if I would take her outside to ride her scooter. I said yes without hesitation. Angus actually did a doubletake and said "Mom, you really are done with school, huh!" Oh yes I am.
So the first thing I got to do is pick a winner of my birthday contest. And the winner with the best comment has got to be Bernita Harris because -
Congratulations, Bernita for not only winning the first ever Ello goodie basket but for selling your novel! And BTW, this is a novel I've been dying to read ever since I read her short story with the same MC. I can't wait!!!
Ok - the second winner was chosen by random drawing for everyone who commented and extra votes for those who advertised for me. We did it the old fashioned way because I told Oldest that she could pull the winner, which started a fight with Angus and Youngest because they both wanted to pick winners also. So I bribed them with some panda cookies and they went off to stuff as many of them in their mouths as they could before Oldest would be done. Poor Oldest.
Yesterday Angus asked me if I would take her outside to ride her scooter. I said yes without hesitation. Angus actually did a doubletake and said "Mom, you really are done with school, huh!" Oh yes I am.
So the first thing I got to do is pick a winner of my birthday contest. And the winner with the best comment has got to be Bernita Harris because -
Bernita said...
Happy Birthday, Ello! Too bad about the dust and the noise ( but it will be so nice when they've finished.) I've has a strong desire for Monako red bean paste cookies ever since I read about them in a story. The dried squid sound good too.
The only reason I can offer up as to why I should be chosen to win is that I've just sold my novel...
Congratulations, Bernita for not only winning the first ever Ello goodie basket but for selling your novel! And BTW, this is a novel I've been dying to read ever since I read her short story with the same MC. I can't wait!!!
Ok - the second winner was chosen by random drawing for everyone who commented and extra votes for those who advertised for me. We did it the old fashioned way because I told Oldest that she could pull the winner, which started a fight with Angus and Youngest because they both wanted to pick winners also. So I bribed them with some panda cookies and they went off to stuff as many of them in their mouths as they could before Oldest would be done. Poor Oldest.
So we wrote out 39 numbers and cut them up and gave a number to everyone that entered and then we put it in my Yankees hat and Oldest pulled out the number ... 19 - which is... Carrie Harris!!!! Ha ha! She most definitely will get the dried squid, no doubt about it! Thanks to Oldest for her help and for losing out on the panda cookies. She will definitely be getting a box or 2 all to herself since she also did a fabulous job on her interview the other day with R.L. LaFevers. If you haven't checked it out, please do.
Congratulations to the winners, who will have to email me their addresses and also can tell me if they have some things they are particularly interested in and not interested in - which I shall take under advisement. he he. And since they both have blogs, I would love to have them post up their thoughts on their basket of goodies after they've sampled it.
Thanks to everyone for commenting and we will definitely have to do this contest again because I need to spread the dried squid love!
Congratulations to the winners, who will have to email me their addresses and also can tell me if they have some things they are particularly interested in and not interested in - which I shall take under advisement. he he. And since they both have blogs, I would love to have them post up their thoughts on their basket of goodies after they've sampled it.
Thanks to everyone for commenting and we will definitely have to do this contest again because I need to spread the dried squid love!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Interview with R.L. LaFevers - Creator of the Great Theodosia!
Hi everyone! It's me, Summer, or Oldest as my Mom likes to call me. It's been a long time since I got to do an interview for my Mom's blog. I've been bugging her about letting me do another one, but she'd say ok, and then she'd forget. Like all the time. But I am good at reminding people about things. Especially when I really want it. Mom calls it nagging, but I object to that word.
But she finally asked if I wanted to do an interview and with who. Well, not that long ago, Mom won an ARC for THEODOSIA AND THE EYES OF HORUS, and when I saw that Ms. LaFevers signed it for my Mom, I was jealous. I was the one that read both Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos as well as Theodosia and the Staff of Osiris. I was the one that loved Theodosia! How come she got the signed copy? So I made Mom feel guilty and asked her if I could do an author interview with Ms. LaFevers because as you can tell, I LOVE the Theodosia books. Why? Cause they're awesome and different. Ms. LaFevers writes about Egyptian mythology which is super cool cause it's got curses, mummies, magic and dead people! So cool!
So here is a super awesome interview with the author of the Theodosia series, Ms. R.L. LaFevers!
Summer: Hi Ms. LaFevers! Thank you so much for letting me interview you. My first question is why did you use Egyptian mythology instead of Greek Mythology?
R.L. LaFevers: Thanks so much for letting me visit your blog, Summer. When it was time to begin a new book, I knew I wanted it to have a fantasy element that I hadn’t seen in a lot of other books. Personally, I love all sorts of fantasy elements—dragons, wizards, witches, Greek mythology, Roman mythology, werewolves, and vampires—but I wanted my book to use something a little different, a little unique. So I cast my mind back to when I was eleven and really tried to remember what sorts of things fascinated me and weren’t already being used by other authors. The magic of ancient Egypt was the first thing on that list.
Summer: What inspired you to write these books?
R.L. LaFevers: I really wanted to write a big action adventure fantasy that starred a GIRL front and center. I didn’t want her to be the main character’s best friend, or sister, I wanted her to BE the main character.
Summer: I like how Theodosia is very responsible and kind and brave, what gave you the idea of her and the other characters? Does Theodosia, the character relate to you in any way?
R.L. LaFevers: Oh I’m so glad you thought Theodosia was kind! I think of her as slightly socially awkward since she’s been around so few other kids, but with a great big heart that wants to do the right thing and be nice to people. The brave part just happens; since she’s the only person who can see the curses and magic, to her it makes sense that she is the one who has to deal with them.
I wanted to write a character with both strengths and weaknesses, and then I wanted to show how sometimes, it is our very weaknesses that can end up being our strengths. So while Theo gets in trouble from her parents for being too sensitive or having too much imagination, it is also the very thing that allows her to save the day. I think that happens a lot in real life, actually, our weaknesses can sometimes end up being our best qualities, if we learn how to manage them.
There is a lot of me in Theodosia, although I didn’t plan it that way. That sort of just happens sometimes. I, too, was hyper sensitive as a kid, always sensing things the adults around me didn’t seem to notice. I was also very responsible. My parents were divorced and I had a lot of brothers (at one time, I had seven!) so I ended up being a sort of second parent to a lot of them, and I helped my mother take care of things. Plus, with so many kids and so much to juggle, my mother was preoccupied a lot of the time, so I knew what it was like to have preoccupied parents.
Summer: My Mom says I am very responsible also! I help a lot with my little sisters, although they don't always appreciate me. You say that there is a lot of you in Theodosia. So would you be like Theodosia if you switched places with her?
R.L. LaFevers: Absolutely. Although she might be a teensy bit braver than I am. And since I’ve had so many more brothers than she has, AND I had two sons, I would probably be a little more understanding of Henry.
Summer: Why did you choose the 1800’s time period and the setting of England?
R.L. LaFevers: Oo! Good question. Because the book was going to concentrate on Egyptian magic and ancient artifacts, I wanted to set the book during the heyday of Egyptology—which was the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. That was also a time when there were a lot of secret societies scuttling about, trying to learn all they could about ancient mysteries. Since the Theodosia books involved both, it seemed the logical choice.
As for England, well, I wanted to model the Museum of Legends and Antiquities on the British Museum, plus many of the great finds in Egyptology were being made by the British—or at least some of the more notorious ones. Also, England itself has an awful lot of Egyptian artifacts that have been brought over from Egypt over the centuries, like Cleopatra’s Needle, for example. It made sense that if there was going to be an organization like the Brotherhood of the Chosen Keepers whose mission was to keep an eye on cursed artifacts, they would be centered where so many of the artifacts ended up: London.
Summer: Well I especially liked how Awi Bubu had magical Egyptian powers. It was so cool! What inspired you to make his character?
R.L. LaFevers: I began realizing that since I had all this Egyptian magic in the books, and people using ancient Egyptian magic, that I needed to include those who had never stopped using it in the first place! A very secretive, elusive cadre of Egyptians who’d never let the ancient wisdom and practices die out.
I also needed him to be in London, where Theo could run into him. So I brainstormed from there, playing with different scenarios that would bring that bring someone with his particular skill set and background to London.
Plus there had to be someone in the books who knew more than Theodosia did!
Summer: When I am writing, I have a hard time coming up with names myself for my characters. But you have great names in your books. Snuffles, Fagenbush, Kimosiri, Awi Bubu. How did you come up with them?
R.L. LaFevers: I’m so glad you like all the names! I actually collect names, from real life, from books I read, from the credits on TV. I have notebooks and notebooks full of names. I really like the name to serve the story—not just be something to call a character. I think names can do a good job of hinting at the character’s personality, or being something they have to overcome, or something they will never live up to. Names are a lot of fun.
Theodosia’s last name was originally going to be Wicketts. As you know, oftentimes the only thing she can find to eat are jam sandwiches, so I thought I could do a fun riff on Sticky Wicketts, an old British saying. However, that quickly grew too heavy handed and cumbersome, so I tossed the idea out.
Awi Bubu is a combination of a couple of real Egyptian names I found in my research. Awi mean glory and Bubu means to shed light. It’s a bit of a hint, really.
Summer: So did you do a lot of research? What is your research process like? Do you use the public library and the internet? Do you like research?
R.L. LaFevers: I pretty much adore research. I have ever since I was little. I love walking into libraries and museums and feeling all that ancient knowledge sitting on the shelves, right at my fingertips.
My actual research process is kind of all over the place. I do some background research first, the stuff I’ll need to know to understand what sort of setting I’ll be creating for the book, what the constraints are, how it differs from our world, that sort of thing.
Since I’d never been to London, I needed to study that city and look at pictures and maps—but not just today’s pictures and maps, but those of a hundred years ago. The internet proved invaluable!
After I understood the historical time and place, the next thing I needed to do was to build Theo’s museum in my mind, and for that I used the internet to find all sorts of historical information, illustrations, and photographs of the British Museum. Again, the internet was a life saver! I found pictures of old buildings, Edwardian street scenes that showed early automobiles sharing the road with horses and buggies, old clothing, alleyways.
I also had to research ancient Egypt, archaeology, Egyptian funerary practices, mummies, mummification, ancient Egyptian magic rituals, secret societies. The list goes on and on! If it’s in the Theo books, I researched it in some way!
Summer: You're just like my Mom! She's always doing research also. She says research is so important for a writer, but I always thought she was just tricking me to study or something. But research into Egyptian mythology would be pretty cool. Especially the curses. So, do you think curses are real?
R.L. LaFevers: Oh wow, tough question! Let me see. I think negative energy is very real, whether its wishing someone harm or putting hate into the world. Our brains are so vastly complex and little understood. A large part of our brain is busy doing things we aren’t even aware of, and if we put out negative energy or walk through a cloud of it, it seems possible to me that it could affect the unconscious part of our brains.
Also, Carl Jung talked about the universal unconscious, which is basically the part of our mind that sees and perceives things our conscious minds aren’t even aware of. I can’t help but wonder if that is in some way tied to curses and negative energy.
I do know that when I have been near some ancient artifacts, they have a different feel to them than something new. Whether it is just a patina of all those who have ever held or used the artifact, or my own vivid imagination, I will probably never know. Do you think curses are real?
Summer: I believe that evil does exist but not curses. I mean you may have bad luck that may seem like a curse to you but I don't think curses really exist. All the bad luck is really just a lesson to you to teach you to do better. Like my Mom always says that karma is important. If we do good, good will come back to us. But if we do bad, bad will come back to us. (Or my Mom and Dad will punish us - which is also bad.)
So what advice do you have for me if I want to be a writer?
R.L. LaFevers: If you want to be a writer, you really need to do two things: Read and write. It really can be that simple. Although I’m guessing you want something a little more detailed than that, so here you go. These are the six key things I think a person needs to do to be a good writer. Keep in mind, though, that these are just one person’s opinion.
Persistence: Which is just a fancy word for stubbornness, you need to keep trying and keep learning and never give up. If you love something, and you never give up, you never fail. Even if you never get published, if you love writing and you make time to do it, you will have had the joy of writing. All the published writers I know are the people who simply never gave up.
Live: In order to have things to write about, we need to embrace life. In order to write an interesting, rich, exciting story, we must have experienced some interesting, rich, exciting things. We must get out there and experience life, do stuff, make friends, perhaps an enemy or two (by accident, of course!) It’s okay to do these things badly, no one says you have to be great at everything you try. But do try stuff, collect experiences like you would sea shells or interesting rocks or Transformers.
Respect your own creative process: The truth is, there are many different approaches to creativity. Each writer and artist and musician does things a little differently. And while it’s interesting to learn about new ways to try things, it’s also important to respect how YOU do it. So while it’s also okay to experiment with different approaches and processes, , especially when you’re just learning, don’t ever think your way isn’t as good as someone else’s.
Be brave: The very best writers tell the TRUTH. It might be dressed up as a story, even a fantasy, but the best stories show us something that is TRUE. And it takes COURAGE to tell the truth. Not everyone likes to hear the truth. Sometimes saying what is true can get you in trouble or cause some people not to like you. But as writers we need to be brave enough to tell the truth.
Be Passionate:. We must write about things that we care a LOT about. What are those things that are important to you? What moves you to tears? What makes you laugh? What makes you furious? What terrifies you? These are the things that you are passionate about and should be at the heart of your writing.
Embrace Your Secret Weapon: Which is your wild and crazy self. It’s that part of yourself that might get you in trouble most often, or that you’re most embarrassed about. It is that piece of you that is wholly uniquely different from anybody else. Perhaps you are angry, sassy, a smart aleck, shy, quiet, a doodler, class clown, tell tall tales, too much imagination
But here’s something I truly believe: Our weaknesses are also our strengths. We just have to learn how to use them in the right way. One of our most important jobs in life is to embrace our quirks and our weaknesses and, even more important, learn how to turn them into strengths.
Summer: Wow! That is awesome advice. Thanks for sharing that with me. And thanks for writing this awesome, super cool series that I want the whole world to read!
R.L. LaFevers: Thank you so much for having me, Summer! And good luck with your own writing!
Summer: So that's my awesome new interview and I have even more super cool news! I get to interview Ms. LaFevers again for The Enchanted Inkpot on June 9th for her the second book in her new series The Beastologist!!!! And she sent me both books and they were both signed to me!!! I am already reading the first book and it is awesomeness!
Oh and lastly, my Mom said that I get to choose the winner of her gift basket prizes. And this is your last chance to win squid or seaweed or other weirdness. And if you leave a comment here, I get to include you for the raffle! So please leave a comment! I love reading comments. Bye for now!
But she finally asked if I wanted to do an interview and with who. Well, not that long ago, Mom won an ARC for THEODOSIA AND THE EYES OF HORUS, and when I saw that Ms. LaFevers signed it for my Mom, I was jealous. I was the one that read both Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos as well as Theodosia and the Staff of Osiris. I was the one that loved Theodosia! How come she got the signed copy? So I made Mom feel guilty and asked her if I could do an author interview with Ms. LaFevers because as you can tell, I LOVE the Theodosia books. Why? Cause they're awesome and different. Ms. LaFevers writes about Egyptian mythology which is super cool cause it's got curses, mummies, magic and dead people! So cool!
So here is a super awesome interview with the author of the Theodosia series, Ms. R.L. LaFevers!
Summer: Hi Ms. LaFevers! Thank you so much for letting me interview you. My first question is why did you use Egyptian mythology instead of Greek Mythology?
R.L. LaFevers: Thanks so much for letting me visit your blog, Summer. When it was time to begin a new book, I knew I wanted it to have a fantasy element that I hadn’t seen in a lot of other books. Personally, I love all sorts of fantasy elements—dragons, wizards, witches, Greek mythology, Roman mythology, werewolves, and vampires—but I wanted my book to use something a little different, a little unique. So I cast my mind back to when I was eleven and really tried to remember what sorts of things fascinated me and weren’t already being used by other authors. The magic of ancient Egypt was the first thing on that list.
Summer: What inspired you to write these books?
Summer: I like how Theodosia is very responsible and kind and brave, what gave you the idea of her and the other characters? Does Theodosia, the character relate to you in any way?
I wanted to write a character with both strengths and weaknesses, and then I wanted to show how sometimes, it is our very weaknesses that can end up being our strengths. So while Theo gets in trouble from her parents for being too sensitive or having too much imagination, it is also the very thing that allows her to save the day. I think that happens a lot in real life, actually, our weaknesses can sometimes end up being our best qualities, if we learn how to manage them.
There is a lot of me in Theodosia, although I didn’t plan it that way. That sort of just happens sometimes. I, too, was hyper sensitive as a kid, always sensing things the adults around me didn’t seem to notice. I was also very responsible. My parents were divorced and I had a lot of brothers (at one time, I had seven!) so I ended up being a sort of second parent to a lot of them, and I helped my mother take care of things. Plus, with so many kids and so much to juggle, my mother was preoccupied a lot of the time, so I knew what it was like to have preoccupied parents.
Summer: My Mom says I am very responsible also! I help a lot with my little sisters, although they don't always appreciate me. You say that there is a lot of you in Theodosia. So would you be like Theodosia if you switched places with her?
Summer: Why did you choose the 1800’s time period and the setting of England?
As for England, well, I wanted to model the Museum of Legends and Antiquities on the British Museum, plus many of the great finds in Egyptology were being made by the British—or at least some of the more notorious ones. Also, England itself has an awful lot of Egyptian artifacts that have been brought over from Egypt over the centuries, like Cleopatra’s Needle, for example. It made sense that if there was going to be an organization like the Brotherhood of the Chosen Keepers whose mission was to keep an eye on cursed artifacts, they would be centered where so many of the artifacts ended up: London.
Summer: Well I especially liked how Awi Bubu had magical Egyptian powers. It was so cool! What inspired you to make his character?
I also needed him to be in London, where Theo could run into him. So I brainstormed from there, playing with different scenarios that would bring that bring someone with his particular skill set and background to London.
Plus there had to be someone in the books who knew more than Theodosia did!
Summer: When I am writing, I have a hard time coming up with names myself for my characters. But you have great names in your books. Snuffles, Fagenbush, Kimosiri, Awi Bubu. How did you come up with them?
Theodosia’s last name was originally going to be Wicketts. As you know, oftentimes the only thing she can find to eat are jam sandwiches, so I thought I could do a fun riff on Sticky Wicketts, an old British saying. However, that quickly grew too heavy handed and cumbersome, so I tossed the idea out.
Awi Bubu is a combination of a couple of real Egyptian names I found in my research. Awi mean glory and Bubu means to shed light. It’s a bit of a hint, really.
Summer: So did you do a lot of research? What is your research process like? Do you use the public library and the internet? Do you like research?
My actual research process is kind of all over the place. I do some background research first, the stuff I’ll need to know to understand what sort of setting I’ll be creating for the book, what the constraints are, how it differs from our world, that sort of thing.
Since I’d never been to London, I needed to study that city and look at pictures and maps—but not just today’s pictures and maps, but those of a hundred years ago. The internet proved invaluable!
After I understood the historical time and place, the next thing I needed to do was to build Theo’s museum in my mind, and for that I used the internet to find all sorts of historical information, illustrations, and photographs of the British Museum. Again, the internet was a life saver! I found pictures of old buildings, Edwardian street scenes that showed early automobiles sharing the road with horses and buggies, old clothing, alleyways.
I also had to research ancient Egypt, archaeology, Egyptian funerary practices, mummies, mummification, ancient Egyptian magic rituals, secret societies. The list goes on and on! If it’s in the Theo books, I researched it in some way!
Summer: You're just like my Mom! She's always doing research also. She says research is so important for a writer, but I always thought she was just tricking me to study or something. But research into Egyptian mythology would be pretty cool. Especially the curses. So, do you think curses are real?
Also, Carl Jung talked about the universal unconscious, which is basically the part of our mind that sees and perceives things our conscious minds aren’t even aware of. I can’t help but wonder if that is in some way tied to curses and negative energy.
I do know that when I have been near some ancient artifacts, they have a different feel to them than something new. Whether it is just a patina of all those who have ever held or used the artifact, or my own vivid imagination, I will probably never know. Do you think curses are real?
Summer: I believe that evil does exist but not curses. I mean you may have bad luck that may seem like a curse to you but I don't think curses really exist. All the bad luck is really just a lesson to you to teach you to do better. Like my Mom always says that karma is important. If we do good, good will come back to us. But if we do bad, bad will come back to us. (Or my Mom and Dad will punish us - which is also bad.)
So what advice do you have for me if I want to be a writer?
Persistence: Which is just a fancy word for stubbornness, you need to keep trying and keep learning and never give up. If you love something, and you never give up, you never fail. Even if you never get published, if you love writing and you make time to do it, you will have had the joy of writing. All the published writers I know are the people who simply never gave up.
Live: In order to have things to write about, we need to embrace life. In order to write an interesting, rich, exciting story, we must have experienced some interesting, rich, exciting things. We must get out there and experience life, do stuff, make friends, perhaps an enemy or two (by accident, of course!) It’s okay to do these things badly, no one says you have to be great at everything you try. But do try stuff, collect experiences like you would sea shells or interesting rocks or Transformers.
Respect your own creative process: The truth is, there are many different approaches to creativity. Each writer and artist and musician does things a little differently. And while it’s interesting to learn about new ways to try things, it’s also important to respect how YOU do it. So while it’s also okay to experiment with different approaches and processes, , especially when you’re just learning, don’t ever think your way isn’t as good as someone else’s.
Be brave: The very best writers tell the TRUTH. It might be dressed up as a story, even a fantasy, but the best stories show us something that is TRUE. And it takes COURAGE to tell the truth. Not everyone likes to hear the truth. Sometimes saying what is true can get you in trouble or cause some people not to like you. But as writers we need to be brave enough to tell the truth.
Be Passionate:. We must write about things that we care a LOT about. What are those things that are important to you? What moves you to tears? What makes you laugh? What makes you furious? What terrifies you? These are the things that you are passionate about and should be at the heart of your writing.
Embrace Your Secret Weapon: Which is your wild and crazy self. It’s that part of yourself that might get you in trouble most often, or that you’re most embarrassed about. It is that piece of you that is wholly uniquely different from anybody else. Perhaps you are angry, sassy, a smart aleck, shy, quiet, a doodler, class clown, tell tall tales, too much imagination
But here’s something I truly believe: Our weaknesses are also our strengths. We just have to learn how to use them in the right way. One of our most important jobs in life is to embrace our quirks and our weaknesses and, even more important, learn how to turn them into strengths.
Summer: Wow! That is awesome advice. Thanks for sharing that with me. And thanks for writing this awesome, super cool series that I want the whole world to read!
R.L. LaFevers: Thank you so much for having me, Summer! And good luck with your own writing!
Summer: So that's my awesome new interview and I have even more super cool news! I get to interview Ms. LaFevers again for The Enchanted Inkpot on June 9th for her the second book in her new series The Beastologist!!!! And she sent me both books and they were both signed to me!!! I am already reading the first book and it is awesomeness!
Oh and lastly, my Mom said that I get to choose the winner of her gift basket prizes. And this is your last chance to win squid or seaweed or other weirdness. And if you leave a comment here, I get to include you for the raffle! So please leave a comment! I love reading comments. Bye for now!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Post Office Pissing Contest
As all writers know, the querying process is damn hard. But the fact that most agents take email submissions has made querying easier, at least physically. However there are still some great agents out there who, though they might accept email queries, prefer to receive a hard copy of the manuscript. And that is fine and perfectly understandable.
So I had to send a hard copy of my MS, with a synopsis, to a requesting agent yesterday. I was a bit behind because, as all writers know, writing a synopsis is damn hard. And what with the contractors in my house, end of semester final grading, and the normal bitching and whining I like to do, the synopsis took a little longer than it should. But I finally finished it. Printed out my materials and ran off to the post office.
I don't go to the post office often. Maybe 3 or 4 times a year at most. But usually I don't have a bad experience, even if there is a long wait, like during the whole month of December. Usually the postal workers that I have dealt with are either very nice and friendly, or indifferent but still professional.
However, today was another story. I grabbed a padded envelope, which I knew would cost me $1.50 and got on line. When I reach the window, the postal worker takes my envelope and asks me if I would like to overnight it for $15.99. I say No, thank you. She then asks me if I want to priority mail it for $4.90. As I mull it over, she then asks me if I want confirmation for $.80 or something else for double the price. I agree to the confirmation and then she starts pushing me on the priority mail again. I don't think I need it. The agent's office is in Washington, DC, so it is local for me. But finally, I agree after she keeps reminding me how long regular mail can take. I ask her if I have to switch envelopes to the priority one instead. She says no, this envelope is fine. But then she points out that I have used a padded envelope and adds it to the bill which is now over $9.00!! I point out that priority envelopes are free. She states that since I didn't use a priority envelope I would be charged for the one I used. I then say, "but you are the one that pushed me to upgrade to priority. I didn't even want it."
She then says "I don't care about anything you have to say or the excuses you want to make. I don't care. You are going to pay for the envelope."
"Ok, fine," I agree. "But I don't want Priority."
She then had the audacity to get mad at me. Finally she grudgingly removes all the priority stickers and I pay my $5.00 bill and leave.
I feel like I went to buy a used car, not mail a package at the post office. Since when did the post office start pushing upgrades like car salesmen? It was extremely uncomfortable and awkward and I was quite shocked at the woman's behavior. In retrospect, I probably would have been better off with priority mail in the first place. But I'd rather have learned my lesson by myself instead of having it so rudely foisted on me by the postal worker.
Ironically enough, I will have to go back to the post office when I pull a winner for my contest. But the contest is still open for now. I've got 2 prizes and not enough entries! So the contest will be open for one more week. So leave a comment and win a prize. I mean dried squid, salted seaweed, chocolate covered phallic symbols, who doesn't want to win this? And if I could figure out how to mail octopus ice cream, I totally would do it!
But I think I want to go back and bring that nice postal worker a present. Something yummy. Ah yes, I will leave her a little stinky surprise.
So I had to send a hard copy of my MS, with a synopsis, to a requesting agent yesterday. I was a bit behind because, as all writers know, writing a synopsis is damn hard. And what with the contractors in my house, end of semester final grading, and the normal bitching and whining I like to do, the synopsis took a little longer than it should. But I finally finished it. Printed out my materials and ran off to the post office.
I don't go to the post office often. Maybe 3 or 4 times a year at most. But usually I don't have a bad experience, even if there is a long wait, like during the whole month of December. Usually the postal workers that I have dealt with are either very nice and friendly, or indifferent but still professional.
However, today was another story. I grabbed a padded envelope, which I knew would cost me $1.50 and got on line. When I reach the window, the postal worker takes my envelope and asks me if I would like to overnight it for $15.99. I say No, thank you. She then asks me if I want to priority mail it for $4.90. As I mull it over, she then asks me if I want confirmation for $.80 or something else for double the price. I agree to the confirmation and then she starts pushing me on the priority mail again. I don't think I need it. The agent's office is in Washington, DC, so it is local for me. But finally, I agree after she keeps reminding me how long regular mail can take. I ask her if I have to switch envelopes to the priority one instead. She says no, this envelope is fine. But then she points out that I have used a padded envelope and adds it to the bill which is now over $9.00!! I point out that priority envelopes are free. She states that since I didn't use a priority envelope I would be charged for the one I used. I then say, "but you are the one that pushed me to upgrade to priority. I didn't even want it."
She then says "I don't care about anything you have to say or the excuses you want to make. I don't care. You are going to pay for the envelope."
"Ok, fine," I agree. "But I don't want Priority."
She then had the audacity to get mad at me. Finally she grudgingly removes all the priority stickers and I pay my $5.00 bill and leave.
I feel like I went to buy a used car, not mail a package at the post office. Since when did the post office start pushing upgrades like car salesmen? It was extremely uncomfortable and awkward and I was quite shocked at the woman's behavior. In retrospect, I probably would have been better off with priority mail in the first place. But I'd rather have learned my lesson by myself instead of having it so rudely foisted on me by the postal worker.
Ironically enough, I will have to go back to the post office when I pull a winner for my contest. But the contest is still open for now. I've got 2 prizes and not enough entries! So the contest will be open for one more week. So leave a comment and win a prize. I mean dried squid, salted seaweed, chocolate covered phallic symbols, who doesn't want to win this? And if I could figure out how to mail octopus ice cream, I totally would do it!
But I think I want to go back and bring that nice postal worker a present. Something yummy. Ah yes, I will leave her a little stinky surprise.
This is natto, Japanese fermented soybeans that is mixed with a raw egg over steaming hot white rice. And it is NASTY. My parents used to eat this stuff all the time. I think it is how I developed such a strong gag reflex. Let's just say that the a football locker room filled with stinky, sweaty, players after a particularly grueling game, will smell like roses next to a bowl of this stuff. The odor alone will burn off your eyebrows and your eyelashes and you will want to cut your nose off your face to stop the horrendous smell. And the slimey, gooey, repulsive, vomit inducing taste of it! What a great present. I think I'll get a box of this and leave it for my new postal worker friend. I bet she'll get a real kick out of it. In fact, I'll put it in a priority envelope and mail it to her. Cause I'm considerate that way.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Contest continued
Thanks to everyone who has commented and also wished me a happy birthday. It was a tiring week and the house fixing continued today. Unfortunately, it looks like I have to wait for one more thing to get done before life goes back to normal. But boy, you never know how much crap you have until you try to pack it all away. I don't think I had a free moment that wasn't filled with boxing, wrapping, folding, cleaning, taping, moving or dusting. I'm exhausted.
So I have decided to continue my contest because I'm still waiting for that one funny comment that makes me snort diet coke out my nose. Some have gotten close, but not quite spaghetti noodle dangling out the nostril funny...yet. In an effort to increase the funny, I'm expanding ideas of what can go in my goodie box, like:
These cookies have a chestnut filling that is quite sweet and good. The outside is soft and sort of like a pancake. I can't always find them at the store, but if they are there, I'll add them cause they are yummy.
Pickled garlic. Oh yeah, delish. Course you gotta like garlic. Whatever pickling process they use actually mellows out the intensity of the garlic. Plus they don't smell like raw garlic. They don't smell like roses either, but they aren't nearly as bad as eating a lot of dishes with lots of garlic in them.
This was my favorite thing when I was younger and is my kids favorite also. It's Yakult - a yogurt drink that is hard to describe but delicious to drink. Usually you freeze it and then you let it thaw out so you can drink it. But I never could wait and I'd be gnawing all over the plastic trying to get the sweet icy drink out into my mouth. But when it is icy cold and ready to drink, it is so good!
So I have decided to continue my contest because I'm still waiting for that one funny comment that makes me snort diet coke out my nose. Some have gotten close, but not quite spaghetti noodle dangling out the nostril funny...yet. In an effort to increase the funny, I'm expanding ideas of what can go in my goodie box, like:
These cookies have a chestnut filling that is quite sweet and good. The outside is soft and sort of like a pancake. I can't always find them at the store, but if they are there, I'll add them cause they are yummy.
Pickled garlic. Oh yeah, delish. Course you gotta like garlic. Whatever pickling process they use actually mellows out the intensity of the garlic. Plus they don't smell like raw garlic. They don't smell like roses either, but they aren't nearly as bad as eating a lot of dishes with lots of garlic in them.
This was my favorite thing when I was younger and is my kids favorite also. It's Yakult - a yogurt drink that is hard to describe but delicious to drink. Usually you freeze it and then you let it thaw out so you can drink it. But I never could wait and I'd be gnawing all over the plastic trying to get the sweet icy drink out into my mouth. But when it is icy cold and ready to drink, it is so good!
So come on people! Be adventurous! Try for the goodie box! Let's get some more entries, shall we? The challenge is to make me laugh so hard I'd snort a spaghetti noodle through my nose (if I were eating spaghetti). Who can do it? Who will reign supreme?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Birthday Contest!
I'm supposed to be enjoying my birthday, but instead, I'm trapped in my house as the contractors rip it apart and expose me to dust, chemicals, fumes and possibly worse. And I have to go teach for 6 hours straight later this afternoon. So it ain't looking good for my birthday.
How can I salvage the day? I can't drink anymore because my Acid Reflux believes that alcohol is the devil and must be purged at all costs. The last stomach wrenching session taught me my lesson and I shall never doubt Acid Reflux again. And since I can't leave the house, I can't go eat. And no one can come over because the house is like a demolition zone.
Well in order to make myself feel better, I decided to hold a contest. But what kind of contest? That is the question. Everyone gives away gift cards and books. But I was thinking of something my buddy Pacatrue did. When I won the March madness pool last year (or was it the year before?) he sent me a goodie box filled with Hawaiian treats - of which the best was this awesome dessert he made himself. Well, I'm not making any treats. This is, after all, supposed to be a good prize, not a bad one. So I'll save your stomach's from my trying to bake anything. But I can offer up a goodie box of different and interesting treats from my local Asian supermarket that some of you might not be familiar with. Such as this or this. What? Not interested? All right. how about this instead?
Ramen will make you thirsty. I bet a lot of you have never had this Korean drink sensation. It's called sac sac and it comes in a variety of flavors - but the only ones I like is orange and grape. They come with little pulpy pieces of the fruit with the drink and they are delicious. But be warned, eating the peeled whole grapes in the grape drink does have the consistency of eating eyeballs and are not for the squeamish.
Ok, since this is my birthday contest, I have to include my Mother's favorite snack because she did bring me into this world. So here it is, a bag of shrimp flavored crackers.
Personally, I think they taste like salty shrimpy styrofoam chips but this might be just me as my kids love these things too. But then again my kids will eat anything that has enough salt on it. Like the next item on our list. Dried, roasted, salted seaweed:
This is not only tasty, it is really good for you. No Korean household is complete without a pack of this stuff. Make some fresh, hot rice and open up a pack of kim (roasted seaweed). They are thin like paper and come in sheets. You cut it to the size you want. Then you wrap a square of it around a little hot rice and enjoy!
Here's one more of my Mom's favorite snacks. It's a weird Japanese cookie called a Monako, and it is filled with sweet red bean paste. This one I sort of like and sort of hate. The inside part is good and I like the sweet red bean taste of the jelly, but the outside part is really flaky and drives me crazy cause the flaky part sticks to your lips and the inside of your mouth and no matter how much you scrape at it with your tongue it doesn't want to come out, ever. But again, this might be an "Ello is weird thing" and not a "Mom is weird thing" as this is a very popular cookie.
Last but not least, I shall include my Dad's favorite treat before his dentures made it impossible to enjoy. Dried squid. Don't they look so good?
I can see some of you cringing already. You probably won't believe me when I say it tastes good. But if you like beef jerky, there's no reason you shouldn't like dried squid. Seems like the same concept to me and they both leave your hands stinky for hours. Ok I admit it. I hate beef jerky. But I guess if you grow up eating dried squid you've gotta grow to like it. Even my kids love the stuff. But what I give them doesn't look like the picture above. No way. If I gave my kids something that looked like that they would call the police and have me taken away for child abuse. No, like beef jerky, the dried squid we buy looks like this:
See? So they eat strips of white chewy jerky that tastes like squid. Yeah, I know. Still gross, huh? I can always include a can of bundegi instead. he he. But then again, some, all or none of these might show up in the goodie box. It could be a total surprise! That's the fun of it.
So there you have it! A celebration of Ello/Earth Day with your comments providing me with free entertainment in my shut-in birthday day. Let the mayhem begin!
How can I salvage the day? I can't drink anymore because my Acid Reflux believes that alcohol is the devil and must be purged at all costs. The last stomach wrenching session taught me my lesson and I shall never doubt Acid Reflux again. And since I can't leave the house, I can't go eat. And no one can come over because the house is like a demolition zone.
Well in order to make myself feel better, I decided to hold a contest. But what kind of contest? That is the question. Everyone gives away gift cards and books. But I was thinking of something my buddy Pacatrue did. When I won the March madness pool last year (or was it the year before?) he sent me a goodie box filled with Hawaiian treats - of which the best was this awesome dessert he made himself. Well, I'm not making any treats. This is, after all, supposed to be a good prize, not a bad one. So I'll save your stomach's from my trying to bake anything. But I can offer up a goodie box of different and interesting treats from my local Asian supermarket that some of you might not be familiar with. Such as this or this. What? Not interested? All right. how about this instead?
No, that's not a phallic symbol! That's a chocolate covered cookie and it is delicious! Below are some of the kind you can dip into a chocolate or strawberry cream. I like to lick the cream out with my tongue.
But my favorite cookie is this one:
But my favorite cookie is this one:
They have a soft chocolate center. What's not to like?
Almost everyone has eaten ramen noodles at some point in their life, right? Ah those good old poor student days, eating ramen every day and desperately trying to think of creative ways to choke down the same old noodles. Now if only Ramenbox had been available to me back then, I think I would have been a better student! And here you thought ramen only came in oodles of noodles flavor. Think again. What about a spicy Korean ramen noodle called Shin Ramen? Eat at your peril! Too spicy for you? How about a miso flavored ramen? Or a green tea flavored one?
Ok, since this is my birthday contest, I have to include my Mother's favorite snack because she did bring me into this world. So here it is, a bag of shrimp flavored crackers.
Here's one more of my Mom's favorite snacks. It's a weird Japanese cookie called a Monako, and it is filled with sweet red bean paste. This one I sort of like and sort of hate. The inside part is good and I like the sweet red bean taste of the jelly, but the outside part is really flaky and drives me crazy cause the flaky part sticks to your lips and the inside of your mouth and no matter how much you scrape at it with your tongue it doesn't want to come out, ever. But again, this might be an "Ello is weird thing" and not a "Mom is weird thing" as this is a very popular cookie.
Last but not least, I shall include my Dad's favorite treat before his dentures made it impossible to enjoy. Dried squid. Don't they look so good?
I can see some of you cringing already. You probably won't believe me when I say it tastes good. But if you like beef jerky, there's no reason you shouldn't like dried squid. Seems like the same concept to me and they both leave your hands stinky for hours. Ok I admit it. I hate beef jerky. But I guess if you grow up eating dried squid you've gotta grow to like it. Even my kids love the stuff. But what I give them doesn't look like the picture above. No way. If I gave my kids something that looked like that they would call the police and have me taken away for child abuse. No, like beef jerky, the dried squid we buy looks like this:
So what are the rules to the contest? Simple, first of all, you must be a buddy of the blog. See the box on the sidebar called Buddies? Just click on the follow box and that takes care of step 1. If you are already a buddy, then skip step 1. The second step is to comment here on which of these taste sensations you would be most interested to partake in and why. Or if you feel that a certain Asian treat should be included in the goodie box, please make a recommendation for me to consider. Either of these comments should also include a statement as to why you should be chosen to win. The one with the best comment will win a goodie birthday box from me.
The goal of the contest is to increase my buddies from the current 129- hey, what happened to a buddy? Who left me? What'd I do? (mope) Ok, the goal is to increase my buddies from 128. So to that end, I shall include a second prize. For those of you who are not feeling so brave, the second prize will be a choice of a $25 gift card to Amazon or a goodie box like above. This one will be a random drawing. If you are a buddy and you leave a comment on this post, you will be automatically entered to win. If you link the contest to your blog or tweet or facebook it, you will double your chances in the lottery. Just make sure you comment here and let me know you've promoted me and I'll enter you as often as you promote me!
So there you have it! A celebration of Ello/Earth Day with your comments providing me with free entertainment in my shut-in birthday day. Let the mayhem begin!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Random Funny Things My Mom Says - Part 6
So my folks came down to visit and have an early celebration for Oldest and me as our birthdays are a week apart. My Mom, who tends to lack any kind of discretion and is about as subtle as a gorilla in a china factory, has switched tactics and has been trying to be subtle about the fact that she perceives me to be overweight.
She says things like:
"You don't have to go on a diet, you just need to stop eating."
"You're not fat, you just need to move around all the time. Like now. Stop eating and start running, jumping, jogging. Now! Right now! Get up!"
So she and my dad came down to visit, but stayed at my sister's house in Virginia because our house is undergoing "insurance covered snow storm damage repairs." Yes the snow from over 3 months ago. Don't even get me started on that.
Anyway, we go over to have dinner and my Mom gives me an early birthday present. First she hands me a large pink envelope and then a large manila envelope folded over. She then asks me not to open the folder until I get home. When I get home, first I open the manila envelope (apparently she'd run out of wrapping paper) and pulled out this little handy dandy book:
Anybody else getting the feeling that I'm being bribed to lose weight?
OK guys! Since Ello's day is also Earth Day, I'm going to have a little contest and give out some prizes in celebration for it being mine and the Earth's Days - because we are both very special and share things that are big and round. So stay tuned as I come up with interesting prizes for people to try for later this week!
She says things like:
"You don't have to go on a diet, you just need to stop eating."
"You're not fat, you just need to move around all the time. Like now. Stop eating and start running, jumping, jogging. Now! Right now! Get up!"
So she and my dad came down to visit, but stayed at my sister's house in Virginia because our house is undergoing "insurance covered snow storm damage repairs." Yes the snow from over 3 months ago. Don't even get me started on that.
Anyway, we go over to have dinner and my Mom gives me an early birthday present. First she hands me a large pink envelope and then a large manila envelope folded over. She then asks me not to open the folder until I get home. When I get home, first I open the manila envelope (apparently she'd run out of wrapping paper) and pulled out this little handy dandy book:
I open it and guess what's inside?
Then I open the large very pink envelope and pull out this lovely card:
When I open the card, another surprise:
Anybody else getting the feeling that I'm being bribed to lose weight?
OK guys! Since Ello's day is also Earth Day, I'm going to have a little contest and give out some prizes in celebration for it being mine and the Earth's Days - because we are both very special and share things that are big and round. So stay tuned as I come up with interesting prizes for people to try for later this week!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 40
We went out to dinner at a very nice, very fancy restaurant. The kids oooohed and ahhhhed over the place. The chandeliers were a fancy bubble like pattern. They used cloth napkins instead of paper. They had fancy leather padded chairs and the staff wore ties. But it wasn't until the bathrooms that the kids really got excited. Burnished brass fixtures in a marble bathroom with wicker baskets, perfumed soap, and even mouthwash.
Angus announced to the whole restaurant that she'd never been in such a fancy bathroom before.
Unfortunately, the kids did not like their overly priced dinner. Some fancy schmancy attempt at gourmet pizza for kids with a Mediterranean twist that none of them liked. Youngest announced that it smelled like cat food. Angus just ate the bread. Oldest ate Da Man's food instead.
As we got up from our table and began the long trek through the restaurant to the door, the kids start to complain about their dinner.
Youngest - I'm still hungry.
Me - You should have ate more at dinner.
Youngest - But I didn't like it!
Me - Too bad.
Youngest (to her sisters) - This place is disappointing. The food is not as good as its bathroom.
Ironically, their favorite restaurants are these hole in the wall places with fabulous food and bathrooms you wouldn't catch me dead in. So is there a correlation? I don't want to even think about it.
Angus announced to the whole restaurant that she'd never been in such a fancy bathroom before.
Unfortunately, the kids did not like their overly priced dinner. Some fancy schmancy attempt at gourmet pizza for kids with a Mediterranean twist that none of them liked. Youngest announced that it smelled like cat food. Angus just ate the bread. Oldest ate Da Man's food instead.
As we got up from our table and began the long trek through the restaurant to the door, the kids start to complain about their dinner.
Youngest - I'm still hungry.
Me - You should have ate more at dinner.
Youngest - But I didn't like it!
Me - Too bad.
Youngest (to her sisters) - This place is disappointing. The food is not as good as its bathroom.
Ironically, their favorite restaurants are these hole in the wall places with fabulous food and bathrooms you wouldn't catch me dead in. So is there a correlation? I don't want to even think about it.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
When they were little
I was going through my files on my computer and found this old clip of Angus singing with Oldest acting goofy in the background. I think they were 3 and 5. Youngest isn't on screen but you can hear her chattering behind the camera. I can't believe how fast time flies. Oldest is only 2 inches shorter than me and Angus is catching up fast. Youngest is now in kindergarten and I don't have babies anymore. I'm so happy to see them grow and yet so sad that they aren't so little anymore. It's a bittersweet moment.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Random Funny Things My Mom Says - Part 5
By special request - another Mother story.
One day my Mom and I were having lunch when she keeps staring at my chin.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I see a double chin," Mom said. "You'd better start exercising again." Visions of jumping in the air and smacking myself on the chin fleeted through my head.
"I am dieting, I gave up donuts," I said.
"But not brownies, cookies, chocolate, or cupcakes," she said as she pointed to my pantry. "Double is bad. Double chin, double belly, double self. Everything double is bad."
"You're exaggerating..."
"I'm not! Double patties, double chocolate, double by-pass heart surgery, double trouble. See? Everything double is bad. One day your husband will look at you and think, hmmm, I need a new wife. That would be double wife. That's bad."
"That's not fair, he's got a bit of a double chin too!"
She nodded sagely. "Double standard. I told you everything double is bad."
Damn, she's good.
One day my Mom and I were having lunch when she keeps staring at my chin.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I see a double chin," Mom said. "You'd better start exercising again." Visions of jumping in the air and smacking myself on the chin fleeted through my head.
"I am dieting, I gave up donuts," I said.
"But not brownies, cookies, chocolate, or cupcakes," she said as she pointed to my pantry. "Double is bad. Double chin, double belly, double self. Everything double is bad."
"You're exaggerating..."
"I'm not! Double patties, double chocolate, double by-pass heart surgery, double trouble. See? Everything double is bad. One day your husband will look at you and think, hmmm, I need a new wife. That would be double wife. That's bad."
"That's not fair, he's got a bit of a double chin too!"
She nodded sagely. "Double standard. I told you everything double is bad."
Damn, she's good.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Random Funny Things My Mom Says - Part 4
Last time my Mom was visiting, I walked in on her in the living room acting strangely. She was reaching up high with one arm and jumping in the air. As she landed, she'd smack herself on the head and continue to reach and jump. After 10 jumping head smacks she switched arms and did it 1o more times.
So I had to ask her.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
"I'm exercising," she said as she moves on to her 30th jump smack.
"But why are you jumping and hitting yourself?"
"I am reaching high and jumping to stretch out my stomach because I ate too much today. And I'm hitting myself on the head to remind myself not to eat too much again." She doesn't even stop as she explains this to me. "If you do this too, you would stop eating all those sweets right away."
"If I did that everytime I ate something bad I'd be in a coma," I said.
"That's why it works," she insisted.
"Ok, have fun," I said as I quickly ran away.
And people wonder why I'm crazy.
So I had to ask her.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
"I'm exercising," she said as she moves on to her 30th jump smack.
"But why are you jumping and hitting yourself?"
"I am reaching high and jumping to stretch out my stomach because I ate too much today. And I'm hitting myself on the head to remind myself not to eat too much again." She doesn't even stop as she explains this to me. "If you do this too, you would stop eating all those sweets right away."
"If I did that everytime I ate something bad I'd be in a coma," I said.
"That's why it works," she insisted.
"Ok, have fun," I said as I quickly ran away.
And people wonder why I'm crazy.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Coddling Mediocrity?
Recently Angus had a basketball game that didn't go so well. Da Man is coaching her and it is her first season with players who had never played before either. So it is a newbie third grade team. They played a team that had been playing since kindergarten. It was a massacre. The final score must have been 45 to 12 or something painful like that. During halftime, the scorekeepers in an act of mercy wiped the scorecard clean and kept tally privately instead. It was in the second half that Angus and her teammates got a little bit livelier and scored 12 points. The scorekeepers put the 12 up but kept the other teams score at 0, which surprised me and ended up confusing our players.
The coach for the other team, a really lovely and gracious coach, kept calling out to her players to let our team take shots. Plus overall, I thought her players showed excellent good sportsmanship. I applaud coaches like her, and Da Man, - they are few and far between.
But the reason for the story is afterward, Angus came over and said "Did you see Mom? We got 12 and the other team didn't get any points in that second half!"
I corrected her and told her that the other team had actually scored also, but the scorekeepers hadn't added it to the scoreboard. Angus was disappointed.
Another mother overheard me and admonished me. "You shouldn't have told her that. Let her believe that they did well."
I was a bit surprised. "But they did do well. And I'm not going to lie to her."
"You're a bit too harsh," the other mother said. "I would have just let her believe it so she still feels good about it. Now you've made her depressed."
I made a non-committal response and left but I thought about this for a long time. Did I do wrong? Should I have let Angus continue to believe that they had dominated the other team and kept them to 0 points when in fact the other team had outscored them again in both halves?
My gut screams no. First because it is dishonest. But secondly, because I believe this is a form of coddling that I just can't agree to. It's like giving awards to every team that plays, even if they didn't win. Personally, I think it is bull, but I can live with it. I'm of the old fashioned viewpoint that if you win, you get an award, and if you lose you get a hug and you go out to buy ice cream as a consolation prize. I applaud effort and I believe it is important to encourage effort, but don't reward it because then I feel you are just pushing for mediocrity. A sense of "well I tried and that's good enough." Yes and No. Try, and keep trying, and maybe one day you will succeed. And when you succeed, you'll be rewarded. That's life. To teach our kids any differently is to set them up for enumerable heartache.
But maybe I'm wrong. I'd love to hear other people's opinion.
The coach for the other team, a really lovely and gracious coach, kept calling out to her players to let our team take shots. Plus overall, I thought her players showed excellent good sportsmanship. I applaud coaches like her, and Da Man, - they are few and far between.
But the reason for the story is afterward, Angus came over and said "Did you see Mom? We got 12 and the other team didn't get any points in that second half!"
I corrected her and told her that the other team had actually scored also, but the scorekeepers hadn't added it to the scoreboard. Angus was disappointed.
Another mother overheard me and admonished me. "You shouldn't have told her that. Let her believe that they did well."
I was a bit surprised. "But they did do well. And I'm not going to lie to her."
"You're a bit too harsh," the other mother said. "I would have just let her believe it so she still feels good about it. Now you've made her depressed."
I made a non-committal response and left but I thought about this for a long time. Did I do wrong? Should I have let Angus continue to believe that they had dominated the other team and kept them to 0 points when in fact the other team had outscored them again in both halves?
My gut screams no. First because it is dishonest. But secondly, because I believe this is a form of coddling that I just can't agree to. It's like giving awards to every team that plays, even if they didn't win. Personally, I think it is bull, but I can live with it. I'm of the old fashioned viewpoint that if you win, you get an award, and if you lose you get a hug and you go out to buy ice cream as a consolation prize. I applaud effort and I believe it is important to encourage effort, but don't reward it because then I feel you are just pushing for mediocrity. A sense of "well I tried and that's good enough." Yes and No. Try, and keep trying, and maybe one day you will succeed. And when you succeed, you'll be rewarded. That's life. To teach our kids any differently is to set them up for enumerable heartache.
But maybe I'm wrong. I'd love to hear other people's opinion.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Tu Books!!
Hey guys, I admit that I am not a good blogger lately. I feel that it is the lack of donuts that is causing me to be such a poor internet presence these days. I am just so weak these days. But I do have a bit of a scoop that I want to share with you. I have an interview up with the fabulous Stacy Whitman, editor extraordinaire, founder of Tu Books, an independent press focusing on multicultural fantasy and science fiction for middle grade and young adult readers, over at the Enchanted Inkpot. Tu Books has now been acquired by Lee and Low Books!
I'm really proud of Stacy. She started an independent press because she saw a need in the marketplace for multicultural books for children. She started it against all odds, willing to make lots of sacrifices to make it work, and now all her hard work has paid off and Tu Books is now an imprint and Stacy is the Editorial Director! Instead of just 2 books the first year, she hopes to publish 6 titles in 2011!
So please check out the interview and let me know what you think of this new publishing endeavor.
I'm really proud of Stacy. She started an independent press because she saw a need in the marketplace for multicultural books for children. She started it against all odds, willing to make lots of sacrifices to make it work, and now all her hard work has paid off and Tu Books is now an imprint and Stacy is the Editorial Director! Instead of just 2 books the first year, she hopes to publish 6 titles in 2011!
So please check out the interview and let me know what you think of this new publishing endeavor.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Donut Withdrawal = Cupcake Heaven
Since giving up donuts for Lent, I've found myself craving sweets like a Pavlovian dog hearing a constantly ringing bell. I go to bed thinking of sweets, I sleep and dream of sweets, and I wake up craving them. There has been only one thing that has satisfied my sweet addiction. And that is a red velvet cupcake from Georgetown Cupcakes.
So luscious, so sweet, so decadent, so creamy, so drool slobbering, fever inducing good. If I had to choose between a red velvet cupcake and a date with Clive Owen, I'd slide tackle Clive aside in my rush to cram the cream cheese icing into my mouth. I'd run over Hugh Jackman, shove Brad Pitt, and stampede over Johnny Depp. Errrrr, wait a second. Rewind. Who in their right mind would choose a cupcake over Johnny Depp? Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Sorry Johnny. I gotta go with the cupcake.
FYI, if you are in the DC area and you are near a Georgetown Cupcakes, then follow them on twitter here because everyday they have a secret cupcake flavor. They make about a 100 of them. Once they tweet the secret flavor, rush over to your local Georgetown Cupcake, tell them the secret favor and you get that cupcake for free, no purchase necessary. But why would you go to a Georgetown Cupcake and not buy a red velvet? That's kind of like sacrilege you know.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 39
Oldest - So how did you know Daddy loved you?
Me - When he got me a bucket and held up my hair as I puked my guts out.
Oldest - Ergh! That's disgusting and not romantic at all!
Me - That's true love.
Oldest - (Stares at me with disgust.) So did you ever hold Daddy's hair for him while he threw up?
Me - He has short hair.
Oldest - You know what I mean! Did you hold a bucket while he was sick?
Me - No way! I'm a sympathetic vomiter. Can't do it.
Oldest - You're not right! So you're saying Daddy loves you more than you love Daddy?
Me - No, I'm just smarter.
Oldest - (long pause) Mom, I can see your evil genius at work.
Me - That's because (doing my best Darth Vader impersonation) I am your Mother.
Oldest - I'm out of here.
Me - Come back child, join me and we will rule the world...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
You ain't Korean unless you've had ...
Han-Yak. That's right. Nasty, stinky, vomit inducing Korean herbal medicine that makes you want to cut your own tongue off rather than drink it.
Thought I was going to say Kim Chee, right? Well, actually I've had people describe kim chee the same exact way, so to each his own. But today I am not waxing eloquent about the hot and spicy pickled cabbage dish. No, I want to revisit my youth in painful detail with you.
Most children with Korean parents have endured being grabbed in a head lock and having their nose pinched ruthlessly by their mother as halmoni (grandma) pours a brownish/black, warm, stinky, herbal concoction down their throats. I remember letting the foul stuff leak out the side of my lips and down my neck to try and keep from vomiting, only to get smacked on the head by my little old halmoni while she shouted that I was spitting out liquid gold. Apparently gold tastes a lot like horse manure. My sister had a much better method of dealing with the han yak. As soon as they forced it down her throat, she'd immediately hurl it back into halmoni's lap, along with whatever else she'd been recently eating. After about the 10th time of being covered in puke, halmoni finally gave up on her and poured all her han yak lovin' to me. The big dummy who dribbled instead of spewed.
So what is this mysterious medicine that tastes like fresh yak poop? Apparently it is an ancient herbal medicine philosophy based on restoring the proper flow of "gi" in the human body. It relies on a variety of sources such as plants, minerals and animal parts. Depending upon what your medical problem is, they have a different mix of the three just right for you. They used to put bear gall bladders, seals testes and rhinoceros horns in the stuff before it became illegal. Now we are so lucky to have deers antlers, sea horses, bats, scorpions, centipedes or geckos instead. But at the heart of any good han yak is ginseng, the most prized Korean product. Ginseng itself is not bad. Smells like a root and tastes like a root. Nothing to vomit over. But when mixed by a crazy little old Korean "doctor/quack" with the other 20-oddball, scary, freaky, han yak ingredients, it becomes unpalatable. Han yak makes Vegemite taste like Nutella. And it gives you horrible gas, and the gas would smell just like han yak, and you would try to run away from the smell, but it would linger wherever you went cause you were now the source of the odor.
So why drink it? Well Koreans swear by the stuff. They believe it cures just about everything - migraines, menstrual cramps, hernia, stomach aches, nose bleeds, and even broken limbs. Yes the han yak is so potent it will help your bones knit itself together again. Now that's liquid gold!
But does it work? Let me put it this way. I would NEVER EVER EVER tell my halmoni that I felt sick. NEVER! I remember breaking my pinkie in the school yard and crying like a baby. But when I got home, I put on a pair of gloves and acted like nothing had happened. My pinkie ballooned to the size of a McNugget and I'd pretend it was a sausage that I was eating. Luckiy, my halmoni had terrible eyesight. To this day, my right pinkie is blatantly crooked from having set it myself at the age of 11. So as far as my halmoni was concerned, I was the healthiest kid in the world and han yak was the reason.
And there was no more effective punishment than han yak. Just the threat of the stuff would have me begging for forgiveness for crimes I hadn't yet committed. The worst part was, I'd still get the han yak.
My kids have no idea how lucky they are that I don't make them drink the stuff. They have no concept of the misery I endured... But then again, perhaps I should further explore the benefits of han yak as a punishment.
Thought I was going to say Kim Chee, right? Well, actually I've had people describe kim chee the same exact way, so to each his own. But today I am not waxing eloquent about the hot and spicy pickled cabbage dish. No, I want to revisit my youth in painful detail with you.
Most children with Korean parents have endured being grabbed in a head lock and having their nose pinched ruthlessly by their mother as halmoni (grandma) pours a brownish/black, warm, stinky, herbal concoction down their throats. I remember letting the foul stuff leak out the side of my lips and down my neck to try and keep from vomiting, only to get smacked on the head by my little old halmoni while she shouted that I was spitting out liquid gold. Apparently gold tastes a lot like horse manure. My sister had a much better method of dealing with the han yak. As soon as they forced it down her throat, she'd immediately hurl it back into halmoni's lap, along with whatever else she'd been recently eating. After about the 10th time of being covered in puke, halmoni finally gave up on her and poured all her han yak lovin' to me. The big dummy who dribbled instead of spewed.
So what is this mysterious medicine that tastes like fresh yak poop? Apparently it is an ancient herbal medicine philosophy based on restoring the proper flow of "gi" in the human body. It relies on a variety of sources such as plants, minerals and animal parts. Depending upon what your medical problem is, they have a different mix of the three just right for you. They used to put bear gall bladders, seals testes and rhinoceros horns in the stuff before it became illegal. Now we are so lucky to have deers antlers, sea horses, bats, scorpions, centipedes or geckos instead. But at the heart of any good han yak is ginseng, the most prized Korean product. Ginseng itself is not bad. Smells like a root and tastes like a root. Nothing to vomit over. But when mixed by a crazy little old Korean "doctor/quack" with the other 20-oddball, scary, freaky, han yak ingredients, it becomes unpalatable. Han yak makes Vegemite taste like Nutella. And it gives you horrible gas, and the gas would smell just like han yak, and you would try to run away from the smell, but it would linger wherever you went cause you were now the source of the odor.
So why drink it? Well Koreans swear by the stuff. They believe it cures just about everything - migraines, menstrual cramps, hernia, stomach aches, nose bleeds, and even broken limbs. Yes the han yak is so potent it will help your bones knit itself together again. Now that's liquid gold!
But does it work? Let me put it this way. I would NEVER EVER EVER tell my halmoni that I felt sick. NEVER! I remember breaking my pinkie in the school yard and crying like a baby. But when I got home, I put on a pair of gloves and acted like nothing had happened. My pinkie ballooned to the size of a McNugget and I'd pretend it was a sausage that I was eating. Luckiy, my halmoni had terrible eyesight. To this day, my right pinkie is blatantly crooked from having set it myself at the age of 11. So as far as my halmoni was concerned, I was the healthiest kid in the world and han yak was the reason.
And there was no more effective punishment than han yak. Just the threat of the stuff would have me begging for forgiveness for crimes I hadn't yet committed. The worst part was, I'd still get the han yak.
My kids have no idea how lucky they are that I don't make them drink the stuff. They have no concept of the misery I endured... But then again, perhaps I should further explore the benefits of han yak as a punishment.
Muw hwa hwa HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
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