Saturday, December 1, 2007

My middle name is

Dear Larramie at Seize a Daisy has tagged me for a middle name meme. Something about listing one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, just make one up...or use the one you would have liked to have had.

So my middle name is like 13 letters long and I just don't have that many interesting facts about myself to make this an interesting post. Well, I was feeling weird so I decided to write up the facts and make up a middle name depending upon what I got so here goes:

O - is for OCD. During the winter my hands turn into little alligator clutches cause I wash my hands so much you can actually see the dried up diamond shape markings of my skin. And I would rather pee my pants than use a port-o-potty.

S - is for sarcastic. Try to understand that I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, I really am smarter and better looking than you.

S - is for serious. No seriously, I am smarter and better looking than you.

H - is for happy. Truly I am, especially after I punched that last moron who told me to turn my frown upside down.

E - is for eating. My new avatar is a pig. Need I say more?

L - is for laughter. Hey, if I can't laugh at you, then who will?

A - is for anal. It comes with having OCD. I don't like when people touch my stuff. They'll put it out of order. I don't like lending people my books because I hate it when they bend my spine. I don't like naked dolls. If I see a naked doll, even if it is at someone else's house, I must dress it. This is non-negotiable. While in the Barbados, I got into a little fight with my friend's 3 year old who insisted that her Barbies needed to swim naked in the pool and began screaming at me when I kept trying to sneak clothes on their naked bodies behind her back.

So OSSHELA is now my middle name. But I didn't like the sound of that so I started playing with the letters and switching them until I realized that my real middle name is actually "ASSHOLE." Ain't that a bitch?

17 comments:

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

Funny
Rumbly guts
Artist
Newbie writer
Climbs trees
Elbows of steel
Silly

Lisa said...

I don't have a naked doll thing, but I do have a toilet paper roll thing. If the toilet paper is hung the WRONG way -- where the paper spools from under the bottom, rather than over the top, I have to install it correctly. I have done this in friends' homes, strangers' homes and public places. Then if it's in a public place I have to do the public bathroom handwashing ritual -- you know the one.

Virginia Lee said...

LOL @ Lisa. I totally do the toilet paper thing in other people's homes. And Ello, I completely HATE people touching my stuff. God forbid anyone do anything in my kitchen without my express permission and supervision. I'm the same way about my office area.

Lee is my middle name so....

Loveable
Eccentric
Enthusiastic

C'est moi.

I kinda liked Osshela, btw. :D

Wayne said...

Bwah! Funny stuff, Lisa. To me, it's an unusual name. I like it the way it is.

Bernita said...

Ello...aka...The Intimidator...

Mary Witzl said...

I can't bear seeing naked dolls. Or abandoned ones, or ones who have been injured or marked on. Seriously: it just gets to me and I have to dress them too, and brush their hair.

No OCD here, but I wouldn't lie down on a hotel room bed, even fully clothed, for all the cockroaches in New York. People change their babies on hotel room beds. They sit on them straight out of the shower and do all sorts of things that I'll just leave to your imagination. I have to turn the hotel bed covers right down to the sheets before I can lie down on it. Hmm. Maybe that is OCD after all...

You ARE probably smarter and better looking than I am. Though if you weren't, wild horses wouldn't drag it out of me: I am pathologically humble.

As for people using my stuff, I am perfectly okay with this as long as they put it back. But I get into trouble for sarcasm here; American sarcasm doesn't translate well in the U.K. Sad, really.

And I'm not telling ANYone my middle name. Bad enough that my family and I know it.

sherry smyth said...

Excellent!! I love the humour spin you put on this by creating your own middle name, and then re-creating that yet again. Sarcastic? You? NO!!!

Sarah Hina said...

You're one of those asshole drivers too, aren't you?

Doll-clothes Nazi...

spyscribbler said...

ROFL! I love this meme!

moonrat said...

you rock, miss ello asshole. :)

Patti said...

this is why i love you...bwhahahaha!

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

Do you fold the toilet paper end into a point, too?

My husband insists that the paper should come from the back so the cat doesn't unroll it, but it drives me nuts because I have to hunt for the end.

I'm definitely not OCD. Maybe I should have changed my S from Silly to Slob.

SzélsőFa said...

This naked doll freak is scary indeed.
But, when I saw three (3) naked Ken dolls in a friend's shower stall, I immediately started making photographs of those.
I could not take my eyes off of them, they looked so horrible.

Robin S. said...

Anal
Not Anal
Near the novel-writing finish line
Except I'm constantly worried about
said finish line

Charles Gramlich said...

I have a problem with loaning books too. No one seems to take as good a care of them as I do. It drives me insane and I've been known to loan a book to someone, insist they keep it, and then buy a new copy for myself.

Larramie said...

This was waaaay TOO clever, Ello! And I'm on that bandwagon against any and all naked dolls. After all, modesty/propriety aside, just think about the $$$ wasted on those little "outfits."

Danette Haworth said...

I once met a man named Asa Hall.

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