Pig is angry
See Pig stomp about in fury
Pig was sick as a dog all weekend
Pig was poisoned
Pig was poisoned by Da'Man
Da'Man made a big mistake
Poisoning only made Pig really really really sick
Really really really really really really really really sick
Pig is very angry
See Da'Man run
Run Da'Man run
Run for your very life
I've been suffering from allergies lately which means my sense of smell is completely out of whack. Apparently on Saturday my husband decided to cook up some rancid meat for lunch. Thank the Lord he didn't serve the meat to the kids. Turns out the meat had been left uncooked in the fridge for 5 days and he was not quite sure what the expiration date for the meat might have been prior to that. Since he has no sense of smell and the meat was highly seasoned, he cooked it up. I was unable to smell if it was off because my sinuses are filled with pollen and I have a constant nasal drip. But I remember thinking it tasted just a tad funny. A few hours later, this little piggy was so sick, it made the recent dental trip look like a day at a luxury spa resort. Unfortunately, the same piece of meat did not make my husband sick because he is part vulture and can eat rotted carrion meat with tabasco and have no ill effect.
I have yet to decide how I will inflict my masterful revenge. Shall I unspool all his fishing lines and replace them with dental floss? Shall I shave off one of his eyebrows while he is sleeping? Shall I put a slow leak into his favorite basketball? Shall I send embarrassing photos of him to everyone at his office? Or shall I just satisfy myself with blogging about how he unsuccessfully tried to kill me? I think I shall let it be a surprise.