Saturday, May 3, 2008

Random Funny Things Other People's Kids Say

I was at Nordstrom's Department store buying shoes for the girls when Angus needed to go to the bathroom. As I waited outside her stall, I heard the sweetest cutest little voice talking in the stall next door. She must have been 2 or 3 tops and she was chatting away to her Mother. I could even see her little black Mary Jane shoes walking back and forth on the floor under the stall door. I wasn't listening to her talking as I was impatiently waiting for my own kid to finish up when all of a sudden I heard her announce something loudly.

"Good job Mommy! You went poo poo in the potty!"

Oldest and Youngest, who are standing next to me begin to snicker. Youngest says, "Ew, yuck!" a bit loudly.

The Mommy is hushing her child but I can't hear what the little girl says because all of the sudden loud flushing. She rushed by in an embarrassed flurry as Angus also comes out and we all head over to wash our hands. The little girl beams at us as we come to the sink next to them and announces to Youngest, "My Mommy did a big poo poo in the potty!"

"How big?" Youngest asks.

"Really, really, really big!" Little girl replies.

"Ew! That must be stinky!"

"Yeah, really stinky!" They both began to shriek with laughter. I am biting my lips trying not to crack up and I glance over at the Mom wanting to give her a sympathetic look but the poor Mom looks absolutely mortified and quickly leaves with her daughter.

I feel for her. I do. Kids say anything. But you gotta laugh about it. Wish she hadn't run off so quick. I'd have been happy to tell her about the time Youngest informed everyone that Mommy's legs were scratchier and hairier than Daddy's cause I hadn't shaved all winter. Or when Angus used to mistakenly call a woman's private area the tushie. And scream out "You've got a hairy tushie!" at the locker room of our local pool. Oh yeah, kids say the craziest things.

23 comments:

Aerin said...

Oh, the poor woman. Oh my god I'm next - we're doing potty training this summer. Oh my god. Can I hire someone to do this for me?

strugglingwriter said...

That is too much. We are potty training too and I can totally see something like this being said. Of course I would laugh it off. Most people with kids would understand.

pjd said...

That one's too much. Good look, Aerin and StrugglingWriter. I am so over that phase of childrearing.

When my youngest was about three, we were at a restroom in a touristy mall in Monterey. He's in the stall, I'm waiting outside. Suddenly he starts singing at the top of his lungs, "A bootie is a butt, and a butt is a bottom!" Over and over and over again. I'd have been embarrassed if it weren't so funny.

McKoala said...

Poo is always hilarious. Aerin and struggling; you've just got to remember that. Even when it's lying in the middle of the floor at McDonalds and it came out of your child. Always hilarious.

Lisa said...

Everybody poops, right? ;)

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Oh this is brilliant. Children are priceless when it comes to proudly telling it just like it is! I don't think one can afford to hold on to too much dignity with kids around! :-)

Patti said...

when boy was an itty bitty we were standing in a long checkout line when he pointed to the woman behind us and stated in clear and loud enough voice for all to hear, "that lady looks like a clown!"

indeed.

and the classic of all classics: boy passing a blind man in a store: "nice shades, dude!" boy was 4 at the time.

~sigh~

cindy said...

i would have given my daughter a high five. haha! yay for BIG POO!!! hahaha!

Charles Gramlich said...

Kids know exactly what they are saying, of course. It's a conspiracy by them to keep us thinking, "they're just kids. They won't take over the world."

Beware the kids!
Beware the kids!

Ello said...

Aerin and Paul - I am sooooooooo not envying you! Potty training is so hard.

I, like Pete, am so glad it is over with! And "A bootie is a butt!" ha! That's as good as my youngest smacking me on the butt and singing "Bum bum drums!"

Mckoala - I agree poo and farts is always funny. Unless you are cleaning up the poop, then not so funny.

Lisa - you have to come out and meet my kids!

Vanilla! good to see you. hope you had a wonderful honeymoon. And yes, no dignity around kids!

Patti - seriously, those were not too bad! I loved the nice shades comment! That would have made me laugh. is that bad?

Cindy! OMG me too! ;o)

Charles - seriously you are so right. Especially when it comes to my kids. They know exactly what they are saying. I have no control. HELP!

Sarah Hina said...

From pride to shame--yep, that's pretty much the difference between kids and grown-ups! At least when it comes to our bodies and poo.

Great story, Ello!

Erica Orloff said...

Ellen:
Sometimes I really wonder about your obsession with blogging about poo, farts, and assorted other body functions. ;-)

As for kids saying the darndesst things, you haven't lived until your 4-year-old asks--LOUDLY--in a full pharmacy of people waiting for prescriptions . . . "WHAT ARE CONDOMS" (pronounced, by said child, in some faux British accent like "Khan-Dahms). I said, "I'll tell you later." "No, tell me now. Are they candy?" "Tell you later." "No, now." So I did--a very cut and dry sort of explaination about sometimes you're not ready to have a baby and all that. And then she looked at my very preggers stomach at the time and said, "Well, what's wrong with you? Didn't YOUR parents teach you how to use condoms?"

E

JaneyV said...

Last year when I was working as a childminder I potty trained three kids and a puppy at the same time. I basically had kitchen paper and anti-bacterial spray in my over-washed desiccated hands all day long, cleaning up puddles and a lot worse. NEVER AGAIN!
But hey! My attitude is praise the pooper! I mean have you ever been stuck in a public toilet with a constipated three-year-old?
My God but they can grunt loudly!
Hi 5's all the way for a decent jobbie I say!

Mary Witzl said...

Oh, the memories! Our family used to go swimming every single Sunday at a swimming pool in the suburbs of Tokyo. One day I stayed home and my husband reported that a kindly grandmother asked my youngest why I hadn't come to the pool. Whereupon my youngest gave a very graphic description of my particular condition and why it meant that I could not swim. She embellished it richly and her voice carried. My husband assured me that everyone in the pool heard her, and that two hours later people were still laughing about this.

Kappa no He said...

I can't breathe, I can't breathe!!

Aerin said...

OMG, Erica, I'm still ROFL

Merry Monteleone said...

Ello,

Gotta love those kids... it's especially nice to see other people's kids embarrass them for a change - usually it's mine.

Erica,

I'm still laughing - you should have reminded her that she needs to thank her grandparents for the lapse in lessons.

Lisa said...

You are so on -- as a matter of fact, the next time I come out to DC I insist when we meet that you bring the girls. I HAVE to meet them in person because I'm beginning to think you're making them up :)

Oh -- and I tagged you for a meme.

Beth said...

Oh my gosh, I have missed your blogs and don't know why I've been absent so long. My daughter did something very similar to this to me once and wow, it brings the embarrassment right back. Haha!

Precie said...

LMAO!!!!!!!! What a great way to start my week! My kiddo is also embarassingly verbal these days. Fun, fun stuff.

Melissa Marsh said...

Hahahaha...I got my Monday morning laugh. Thanks, Ell. :-)

Mom In Scrubs said...

Absolutely hilarious and SOOO true!! I must say I am still the "mom in the potty" as of yet. My kids are obsessed with bodily functions and only utilize one volume when quizzing me.

Recent example, as my daughter catches and inadvertent glimpse of my pantiliner, "Mommy, did you have a wet fart?"

In stereo, the women in the other 6 stalls snicker uncontrollably.

What can you do but roll your eyes and laugh?

I'd endure this a thousand times over rather than leave my child outside the stall, walk out, and not be able to find her.

Carleen Brice said...

Ello, Don't worry. Lisa thinks we make up everybody! Don't you Lisa. :)

But I have to say I'd love to meet your whole group too! Though I'd also be a little ascared.

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