Have you seen my brain? Here is an X-ray picture for identification purposes.
I appear to have misplaced it. Or maybe someone has stolen it. Or mistaken it for a cashew and eaten it. Whatever the case, I find myself brainless these days and it is making me quite tired. Apparently thinking is really hard to do without one. I think I'm due an upgrade. I would like one that doesn't have the erase memory function but includes long term retainment ability with an endless hold capacity. I'd also like to have a brain that tells me sweets is yucky and vegetables are delicious. Or one that has a working hunger On/Off switch cause mine has been defective since high school. I would like one that doesn't shrivel up and shift to the back of the head whenever I have to do a math problem and that doesn't make my eyes glaze over while reading a scholarly journal. While we are at it, can someone just go ahead and install a microchip in the brain with the full Encyclopedia Britannica set.
Due to my brainless state, I have been lying low. I'm still posting over at the Enchanted Inkpot, but the little bit of ability I have has been focused on my revisions. Which...........has..............been ..................... going............................... real......ly.................................. slow.
For the first conscious time I have marked my google reader, which was reading 1000+ and which I find very misleading because I could be at 10,000 + and all it would say is 1000+ which if you think about it is much more attainable then 10,000+ and yet how misleading of it to just say 1000+... Oi!!! Brainlessness causes massive buildup of gas in empty cavity which leads to brain farts. Sorry about that - anyhow - what I meant to say is that I was bad and deliberately marked my google reader because I was spazzing out and it made me feel better to put it to zero. And then some people who will not be named, kept insisting on posting every few minutes and bringing my counter up to over a 100 so I had to mark it all read again and step away from the computer cause I was all verclempt and all that crap. I also accidentally unfollowed a whole bunch of people and then frantically tried to follow everyone again - in full disclosure, I did the unfollowing over the course of the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure if I am following everyone I was following before. Since I was following nearly 200 blogs, there is a good chance that I missed someone. So blame the person who took my brain and just shoot me a nice email - or a bitchy one, I deserve it - and let me know I am not following you anymore. And my little piggy will hoof it over as fast as you can say......
What the hell was I just talking about anyway? Oh yeah, if any of you missed me, I'm afraid you will have to do without the little piggy for a little while longer. Brainlessness is contagious and I don't want to spread it around. So this is a public safety issue is alls I'm saying! I may be posting sporadically and visiting even less often as I try and finish off my revision. So stay away if you have to (sob) but please come back on July 1st because I have a real treat. Two copies with signed bookplates of Grace Lin's beautiful new middle grade novel Where the Mountain Meets the Moon.
The book is out July 1st but I had the pleasure of reading it early. This beautiful folksy story based in China is absolutely brilliant and a book I've read out loud to my kids. And all 3 of them adore this book. I will also have a lovely little printed picture of the main character that is autographed by Grace Lin herself, as a prize. So please come back on the 1st. Hopefully I will have a new upgraded brain working for me by then.
13 comments:
In addition to being nutritious and squeaky to the touch, broccoli shares much with the humble human brain, most notaby its shape, and in Medieval England, this fact was recognised by the scribes who worked on the Magna Carta. Feeling down-at-heel and brain dead while carrying out the instructions of King John, a chap called Cuthbert of the Vile Mucus took it upon himself to insert a couple of broccoli spears into his ears to drown out the incessant monkly chanting that was distracting him from his work. Over the course of the afternoon, fluids drained from the broccoli and passed directly into the brain, and he experienced a rush of creative energy scientists now recognise as the Cuthbert effect, and though he was later beheaded for doodling in the margin, his diaries reveal that prior to losing his head he "did feele euphoriche, as if the very angeles were about my bonce a-strokinge with their haloes".
It means you can't listen to anything through headphones, but maybe it's worth a try...
The upgrades are too expensive. I'm making due with my stock model, but it sure ain't easy.
I'm so glad you posted--I was a little worried that you or your loved ones might have been involved in that DC train accident. So sad.
Hang in there.
Thanks Precie - The red line is the train my husband takes, but the accident occurred on the other end of the line. It is sad it happened and I panicked when I heard about it until I found out it was not my hubby's train. I'm just waiting to hear that it was a texting accident, which I bet money on. They need to make it illegal to text and operate a vehicle of any sort! How are you?
Whirl - hey in my brainless state that all made perfect sense!!! Thanks!
Charles - Oh Lord it ain't easy!!! I just wish there was a way to stop this whole degeneration process!!!
Well you are saved from my howler coz the friendly neighborhood piggy is still showing in my followers list. :D
These brains are naughty little things. They wander here and there. Its high time we tag them with GPRS. :)
Ellen -- I'm glad to hear your family wasn't on the trains that crashed recently. I bet you were going nuts for awhile though. And I hear you on the brain thing. Mine has been a little scattered lately too!
braine fartzes, i gotz lotz...
guilty of posting often on my page, gotta do it while the new pup snoozes... when awake, i spend quality time with him... had him one week today :D
The good news is that brain usage is apparently overrated. Lots of people don't even have one [or so I suspect]!
Now get to work on the revision - the sooner you revise, the sooner we can enjoy your published work! ;)
I think I need a new brain /and/ a new heart. *sigh*
Hey you, right there with you.
FOR SALE: One undersized brain; slightly used with limited mathematical ability but excellent writing and reading skills. Newly painted and new furnace.
Will take any reasonable offer or heck just take it if it fits.
For more information, please contact Da' Man
You so DO have a brain, because reading this made it clear. You only THINK you don't, and that's probably because it is all tied up in those revisions. I'm looking forward to reading your book!
The one you mention here also looks wonderful and something I would probably love. I'll be picking up my son at the airport on the first, so my brain may be all tied up that day, but I'll try to remember to compete for the prize (yay! a prize, a prize!)
Your brain may just be on summer vacation. (mine is...I've hardly written all summer!)
Take care, Ello!
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