What with all the hoopla about the Battle hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua I just want to say PFFFFFFTTTTTTTHHHHHHH to it all. So people think Amy Chua is the worst mother in the world. Ha! Sorry to burst your bubble but she's a typical Asian Mom. Ok, maybe extreme in some ways (3 to 4 hours of piano and violin everyday?! My Mom could barely force me to do an hour! But 2 hours of math homework every day! AGH! This is why I hate math!). But tough love is a very Asian Mom thing. I shall pass no judgment on it other than to say that it isn't the way I choose to raise my own children. But that doesn't make it bad, it's just a little messed up is all.
So I'm going to recycle an old post I did because it is a perfect example of what this whole ruckus is about. This is an actual conversation that occurred between my Mom and I after my second pregnancy.
Mom: Waaaaa! You got so fat! You look like a fat person swallowed your face!
Me: That's really nice, Mom. I love you too.
Mom: I love you that is why I tell you. Only mother who loves their child very much would tell them they are ugly. If I hate you, I would tell you you are beautiful and you should eat more food. Eat more chocolate. Person who tells you to eat more, they the one that hate you! Not me I love you so much so I put you on diet, help you keep your husband.
Me: There is nothing wrong with our relationship...
Mom: For now! But stay too fat too long and he gonna look for pretty skinny girl and what happen to you? Fat, ugly with babies and no man. Poor you!
Me: Don't worry!
Mom: Don't worry? How can I not worry? I the only who one worry for you! (long silence) Did he take life insurance out on you?
Me: MOM!!!!!
Mom: I just worry that's all!
18 comments:
ahahahaha poor DaMan! (uh, poor you, to, though) heeheehee
I can hear this conversation perfectly in my head. That's kind of scary.
hahaha I love posts involving your mom. Her logic is fantastic but it's always clear how much she does love you.
I do think that the Tiger Mother piece was blown out of proportion. My mother was strict but not unreasonable; in fact, I think her setting boundaries and standards helped me a lot. (But I still haven't forgiven her for not letting me watch Titanic because I was 12 and not 13. STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN HER.)
My own little piece about my mother is here, haha: http://sjaejones.com/blog/2010/mothers-and-daughters-2/
Is it awful to say that how much she loves you really does come through in this warped (and hilarious) conversation?
I basically tell my daughters this, "Hey. My job is to make sure you can handle the real world. If you think I'm tough on you, you're definitely not ready for the real world."
But then I wuss out on them for not cleaning their room or doing the dishes. I need to write a book about Tiger moms with no spine.
I love it!
And FYI- The book "Outliers" has a chapter on the cultural differences between rice cultures and wheat/corn cultures. It said that rice requires constant care year round, while the European staples require the fields to lay fallow occasionally, take winter off, etc, which fostered a culture that says "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
Could explain part of it, but not telling a woman she's fat right after having a baby! My mom held a respectful silence on that topic;)
Hahaha! I have a Chinese MIL and have heard a ton of stories like these from my husband. Actually, now I get to witness them in person. Her latest target is his new spiky haircut.
I haven't visited your blog in a while and shame on me. Your mom stories crack me up and, um, she kind of has a point. If you can't depend on your loved ones to tell you the truth then who can you.
My theory is only true friends tell you the truth...and get away with it.
My Mom was more of a lamb than a lion. :)
Bwwwwaaahhhaaaa! Your mom reminds me of both my grandmothers. LOL. Some folks ensure you have thicker skin in life.
Brava, well said! Tough love is EXACTLY what my parents called it. And I think I turned out just fine.
This made me laugh out loud!
And it made me remember a conversation I had with my own Tiger Mom when I was home for winter break from college...
Mom: Your daddy and I have noticed you are getting fatter.
Caroline: Ughhhhhh! Mooooommmmm!
Mom: What? If I don't tell you, then who will?
Oh man...
But look how strong it all made you.
LOL! Your mom cracks me up.
Nelsa - a tiger mom without a spine is not a tiger mom - she's a rabbit mom. ha ha!
Oh wow Kelly! The rice vs grain culture analogy is so interesting!!
And the rest of you will have to wait for your next dose of funny things my Mom says!
I love your mom.
I've been laughing about the "controversy" since it came out, considering, a billion of us were raised this way.
Nice to meet you!!
I’m still extracting the wisdom of my own Mom’s comments such as:
-Lovingly dispensed encouragement like “It good thing you get good grades, because you not so pretty”
-and advice on anything she thought I should do or not do for or with my husband or “...he leave you for size 6”
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