Thursday, January 29, 2009

Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 22

Youngest and I were at Target when we ran into one of the girls old dance instructors, we shall call her Ms. Pam. She is an older lady with a killer figure even though she is well into her 60s. My pudgy self usually feels woefully inadequate next to her. Usually.

So we haven’t seen Ms. Pam in ages and she’s looking a bit changed. As we are exchanging pleasantries, Ms. Pam leans over to greet Youngest.

Youngest blinks and says “What’s the matter with your face?”

I nudge her, “Don’t be rude, Ms. Pam looks lovely!”

Youngest has scooted behind me and is pulling at me to lean down. She then says in a loud whisper, “Something is wrong with her mouth!”

Ms. Pam cuts in, “Oh no dear, it’s just this botox! I just had it done yesterday and it hasn’t settled yet. The little ones always notice first!”

She leans down towards Youngest “It’s just some medicine in my face that’s supposed to make me look younger, sweetie!” She laughs gaily, even as her death mask continues to grimace.

Youngest scoots further behind me and whispers loudly, “She’s laughing but not smiling!”

If I could slap my hand over her mouth I would, but must settle with telling her very firmly that she is being rude.

“Don't worry about it! I’m used to it, dear!” Ms. Pam says as she trills out her bye-byes and leaves us. I'm wondering how you can get used to little children hiding from you in fear.

I turn to Youngest and begin to admonish her for her rude behavior but she is not really paying attention to me, she is still peering around me after Ms. Pam. Suddenly she turns to me and says real seriously, “Mommy that medicine is supposed to make you look younger but instead it makes you look deader. Please don’t ever do that to yourself ok?”

I understand and I promise her that she has nothing to worry about. “Don’t worry baby, when I get old, I’ll just look old, not scary, ok?”

She nods and smiles relieved and says, "Don't forget to dye your hair, Mommy, your gray hair is showing!"

Oh the irony!

23 comments:

Jacqui said...

"I'm wondering how you can get used to little children hiding from you in fear." HA! There's a book in here somewhere...

Jennifer said...

Thank God Ms. Pam was so understanding! Of course, if you're going to venture out so soon after the procedure, knowing what you look like...

The morning before a formal function once I had to go straight from getting my eyebrows done to the mall--knowing that the skin above my eyes would still be as pink as my pic here. Any comments would have been deserved!

Charles Gramlich said...

Oh it's just this pesky mutation coming over me. See I invented this telepod, and a fly got in.

It's always the little ones who notice first.

Carrie Harris said...

My son and I get the giggles every time we see one of those women with the overplucked eyebrows. You're a much better parent than me; I really shouldn't laugh but can't help myself.

Travis Erwin said...

Last time I was in vegas I tried to get a picture of this one lady who looked like hell for this exact reason, but I had to quite staring and trying to get in photo position when she winked at me. Talk about scary.

C.R. Evers said...

LOL! too funny! :0D

Christy

Larramie said...

Ms. Pam thinks children notice first? No, probably everyone else does, but children acknowledge it first! ;)

strugglingwriter said...

Has botox ever made anyone really look "better"?

Also, why are all the people on my TV (and on campus for that matter) orange all of a sudden? I know my TV is not messed up.

I feel old.

Kelly said...

One, I love Target. Two, that was too funny! Kids are so blunt with the truth!

Melissa Marsh said...

From the mouths of babes the truth often comes!

JaneyV said...

I'll never understand why women think that shoving a syringe full of botchulism in their face is going to make them look younger. Ms Pam does sound like she's a good ol' sort though.

I love how youngest knows the difference between staying youthful and being grotesque!

Linda D. (sbk) said...

That's hilarious! Leave it to the kids to speak the truth that no one else has the guts to say.

McKoala said...

Ms Pam was unnaturally cool. Perhaps some of the botox slipped beyond the lips!

Captain Hook said...

That is hysterical! The worst my kids ever did was walk up to random women who had large bellies and ask if they were pregnant.

Aerin said...

LOL @ Paul & everything being orange. He can't be THAT old.

Kim Kasch said...

Gotta love those little ones :)

I already look old - and scary. But, I figure that's better than the alternative.

;-)

laughingwolf said...

hmm... a lot of wisdom in your young miss, el :D

Rena said...

OMGosh -- kids are brutally honest. Painfully, even. You handled that so well, Ellen. I don't know what I would have done, other than run for the hair dye aisle!

Nora MacFarlane said...

My now adult son has Asperger's Syndrome, and he has never had the filter that's supposed to be somewhere between the brain and the mouth. When he was growing up, I was terribly embarrassed on a regular basis by his very honest observations - but he was usually right!

Mary Witzl said...

Poor old Ms Pam. But catch me ever using Botox. Just the name alone puts me off. I'll take my wrinkles, thank you; I've certainly earned them.

My kids are useful for pointing out my grey hairs too. Bless 'em.

Lana Gramlich said...

I just hope that she doesn't grow up to be brainwashed (as most are,) into the traditional belief that a woman's looks are all they have. I really, REALLY do.

Chris Eldin said...

Little kids hide from me all the time.

preTzel said...

LOL! I love to look at people who have had botox injections - they do indeed look "deader". :D

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