Lately I've been on a zombie kick. I read the Forest of Hands and Teeth and 28 weeks later has been playing on HBO. And I just saw a review for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies which I gotta buy!
So last night I had a normal husband and wife conversation with Da Man about zombies. Cause in the beginning of 28 weeks later, the stupid husband abandons his wife to the zombies as he flees for his life. So I ask Da Man what he would do.
Da Man - That depends. How close is the zombie to you?
Me - You mean you'd let the zombies get me?
Da Man - (pauses) No honey. If there was a chance I could save you, I would.
Me - And if you couldn't?
Da Man - Then you be a zombie. And I run away before I have to kill you.
Me - Sheesh, the least you could do is shoot me.
Da Man gets all upset - How could I shoot you? You mean if I turned into a zombie you'd shoot me?
Me - Yep.
Da Man - You wouldn't let me live out my life as a zombie?
Me - Why would you want to be a zombie? Eating people's brains and constantly crapping your pants. Cause you know, what you eat has got to come out again and it isn't like zombies are going to be using a toilet and wet wipes.
Da Man - Only my wife would come up with that.
Me - I have to admit to being more disturbed over the idea of walking around constantly crapping my pants than the idea of eating human flesh.
Da Man - They might not crap their pants. They might have the type of physiology where everything they eat turns to energy and they have no waste product.
Me - Don't give me that. Zombies smell really bad right? Ergo - shit their pants.
Da Man - You are a sick sick woman.
Me - Look who's talking! You'd let the zombies get me.
Da Man - Well maybe if you shit your pants, you'll smell like a zombie and they won't eat you.
Me - Dude, I think anyone running away from a zombie has already crapped their pants. It's probably like musk to them.
Da Man - There's something wrong with you.