Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Earth day is My day

That's right. April 22nd is my day. Apparently I have to share it with the Earth. Yeah I already share something else in common with the earth that is big and round. I guess I can share my day too. Although I would appreciate it if we referred to April 22nd from now on as Ello Earth Day to be fair. Why does it always have to be about the Earth? Sheesh. Mother Nature needs to stop being so selfish. All I hear is Earth day this and Earth day that. And what everyone has got to do for the good of the earth. And on earth day be good to the earth, blah blah blah. Enough already! I need to exert my birthday privileges. On Ello day be good to Ello.

So quick note for Da Man - Wonder what I want for my birthday? See picture below:


Note to Da Man. It's been 15 years. I am still waiting for my diamond ring. It is now at 3 carats. Every year you make me wait, I add another 1/4 of a carat. I don't care if it is so big I gotta put it on a metal chain and hoist it on my back. I don't care if it's so heavy my left hand drags on the ground. I don't care if it costs more than your car. Your car is crap anyway. I want it big and sparkly.

Please do not cut out this picture and place it in a jewelry box and give it to me. Please do not try to pass off Youngest's cubic zirconia with the expandable ring. Please do not buy me flowers wrapped in newspaper from the guy on the street corner. Please do not buy me a hallmark card that plays "Tequila." Please do not buy me sexy lingerie, unless you plan on wearing it yourself. Please do not buy me kitchen goods or other household items and pretend that they are a gift when they are clearly obvious attempts at forcing me to be a better "housewife." Please don't make me kick your ass. Please do not whine and complain about being a poor government lawyer, blah blah blah. Boo hoo. Too bad. Go sell a kidney and get me my ring. You have one day.

PS - Alright stop crying you big baby and keep your stinking kidney. Just get me an ipod nano in blue and I'll let you off the hook for now. But don't forget, our wedding anniversary is in August...

30 comments:

Kim Kasch said...

You'll have to keep us posted on the Ipod or ring :) at least he knows what you want.

Aniket said...

Happy Ello Day in advance!

Though I'll make sure to drop by tomm. too. :-D

And Da Man might get you both tomm. you may never know. :-) (The force is strong with him. See I can clearly!)

PS: If I keep writing how funny your posts are each time... I'll run out of adjectives for "funny" in a week. :D

PPS: I did visit the Enchanted Inkpot and read your take. Unfortunately you are absolutely right about the state of affairs in this part of the world. Times are changing but not fast enough... So it made me gloomy and I had nothing to comment. :(

JKB said...

Oh my giddy aunt.

You have gotten me in trouble.I have just busted a gut at work from laughing.

HAPPY ELLO DAY! W00T!!!!!!!!!

Keep it together, bb, I'll cross the fingers you get the carbon.

Cheryl Kauffman said...

Happy birthday and good luck with your wish.

Mary Witzl said...

Good luck with the ipod, and happy birthday!

I just had mine too and I didn't get any diamond ring. Or an ipod either, come to think of it...

Kappa no He said...

Happy Ello Earth Day! Hey, that has a nice ring to it...oh, speaking of ring...!

writtenwyrdd said...

So funny!

Is it your birthday tomorrow? I thought it was your anniversary, but you said that was in August. In any case, Happy Ello Day a bit early.

Ello said...

Thank you everybody in advance! Tomorrow I shall post what I receive on MY day and then we'll see what happens!

Melissa Marsh said...

I think Da Man better buy that ring or else...

Anonymous said...

Another case of one-sided reporting!

First off, let's kill some of the suspense. In my book (yes, that's right the "Da' Man Book"), diamonds are for anniversaries, not birthdays.

More to the point, Ello conveniently omitted any mention of my attempts to give her an early birthday present. During such attempt, I had credit card at hand as I steered her into a store to purchase said gift. However, much to my chagrin, she pointed to another more expensive item and stated, "I'm really more interested in that but not sure yet."

Needless to say, I was a bit exasperated as the item I was ready to purcahse was something she had already told me she wanted.

Yes, she is entitled to change her mind, but did I get any credit for trying to please her let alone actually remembering such vital information! . . . NO!

Consequently, upon reading this misleading (by omission) post, I think everyone's bet (including Ello's) should be more along the lines of whether she gets nothing or a pet lump o' coal.

As of now, it's 50/50, but odds on favorite is probably the lump o' coal.

After all, she does deserve some kind of present, and believe me this pet lump o' coal will be special . . . by that I mean I will attach some googly eyes and Mr. Potato Head ears so it has real personality and can better fulfill its role as a companion to her in times of stress. Better yet, no cleaing or feeding is required!

Even better is the fact that if she applies just the right amount of pressure for the proper amount of time, her little lump o' coal may one day turn into that which she desires most.

What more could a girl ask for!

Da' Man

LarramieG said...

Da Man is getting off easy considering that if your day is Earth Day...well he should give you the world!

Ello said...

Ha ha!! Da Man is crazy. And did you see Larramie's post? Love it!

You should give me the whole world!

Moonrat said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

and by the way, that is EXACTLY the ring picture i have saved on my computer, lest i someday decide to buy myself a ring.

Martha Flynn said...

"Please do not cut out this picture and place it in a jewelry box and give it to me."

LOL!!!!!

Your Da Man and my Da Man must read the same advice columns.

Happy early bday!

beth said...

AHAHAA!!! Priceless..and almost verbatim what I told my husband :)

slhastings said...

"Unless you intend on wearing the lingerie yourself..." CRACKED me up.

Thanks. Now I'm envisioning my hubby in a négligée – not a pretty site, but pretty darn funny.

Happy Ello Day in advance!

Jacqui said...

Can I move into your house for a while? Hilarity.

Merry Monteleone said...

Happy Ello Day!!!!

Just buy yourself the birthday gift and charge it to his card... I know they say it's the thought that counts, but, ya know, I'm pretty sure whoever made that up was a man.

Vasilly said...

Great post! Happy Birthday.

Kim Kasch said...

Happy Day b4 ED!

That's Ello Day - just in case you were wondering. ;)

Danette said...

I can't believe you're letting him keep the kidney!

Happy Birthday, crazy woman!

Anita said...

OK, that's a lot of pressure for one guy...people all over the country waiting to find out what you get! I'll be back mañana!

Sarah Hina said...

Serves me right after being away so long, Ello, that I feel so bad for missing posts as funny and inspired as this one. You are the master!!! :D

Seriously, have a great and fun and iPodalicious birthday. August isn't too far away...

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Yeah, go Ello, bellow for that ring, or the Ipod! And let us know how it works out.
And whatever else, be sure to have a wonderful and totally happy birthday!
xxx

Aniket said...

Wishing you a verrrryy Happppppiiiiee Ello-Earth Day! :-D :-D

Chris Eldin said...

Ello, this is hysterical!!! I'm rooting for ya! That is a beautiful ring and it deserves to be on your finger.
:-)

Stacy Nyikos said...

Happy Birthday!!!! I'm still waiting on my ring too. My evil plan now is to make millions selling children's books and buy it for myself...a girl can dream, right?

out of the wordwork said...

What a hilarious post! Wives everywhere can identify. Hope you get your ring or if not something as fabulous as your sense of humour. Happy Birthday! Taurus borns rule!
Nelsa

Whirlochre said...

Here in the UK, April 22nd is squished between the Queen's birthday and St George's Day (and now, EE's blogiversary).

Tsk.

Enjoy the rest of your birthday — I'm guessing it's only just breaking evening where you are.

Vesper said...

We can certainly refer to April 22nd as Ello Earth Day from now on! :-)

One of my best (girl)friends shares this day too...

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