No more plastic bags

Thank you to all my blogger friends for all of your kind words and thoughts. I have been touched by them all and am grateful to have this wonderful online community.

I'm coming back with something that is of importance to me. Since I come from an environmental background, conservation is not just a word - it's a way of life. It's not easy but every little thing that we humans can do Can and Will make a difference.

Many of us have already begun using cloth bags when grocery shopping. But consider using them at any and all stores. I still see so many people using plastic bags everywhere. But if only 1 out of every 5 people makes an effort to stop using plastic bags, we will make a difference and have a great impact on our future. Please buy cloth reusable bags and take them with you to every store you go to. I have a large purse and many times I will just dump stuff into my bag to save on plastic. Many places in the world have banned plastic bags. If China can do it, then so can we. It isn't always easy to remember to do, but let's all be more vigilant. It will help us save the world.

Coping with Loss

I've never liked the Forrest Gump "Life is like a box of chocolates" analogy. While it's true that you never know what you're gonna get, let's face it, there is never a shit flavored chocolate in the box. They don't make a reality flavored box of chocolates. It would taste too bad.

I look at my life as traveling along a road. Sometimes it's a regular paved road. Comfortable, with no surprises. Other times its filled with danger - quicksand, sink holes, wild animals ready to tear you apart. Life gives you a variety of roads. I've walked on gold plated roads and ones so covered in dog shit that there's no way to avoid it. That's the way life is. We can only hope the bad stretches are shorter in duration.

Last fall it was clear that I'd left the paved road behind and was traveling along a steep rocky path alongside a cliff with no side barriers. My revisions were never good enough for my agent, my mother needed surgery, and my sister-in-law entered a long term stay in the Intensive Care Unit. My husband's only sister had a successful bone marrow transplant to cure her leukemia, only to suffer from host-vs-graft disease for nearly 2 years. But she's so strong, so tough. I'd never met anyone so determined to beat a disease. After all, she'd so much to live for. A beautiful little girl who's just turned 8 years old and possibly the most wonderful husband a woman could ask for.

In December, a small earthquake shook the road, leaving craters to carefully navigate. Isn't it always the case that right before the holidays, when you most need the extra cash, your car will break down or your garage door breaks, etc? Then the week of Christmas, with no internet or phone service, I stood in 27 inches of snow a block from my house in order to get email on my iphone. That's how I found out that once again my agent didn't agree with the direction of my revision and suggested another agent might be better for me. A week later we got the news that my sister-in-law was failing.

Last Friday, she passed away quietly in her sleep. She'd held on so her daughter could enjoy her birthday party the week before and play in her first ever basketball game. My last memory of her was when she was still conscious, grasping my hand strongly, smiling her beautiful smile and thanking me for taking care of her daughter.

Life has a way of reminding us of what's most important. Family and love and our dreams. Before she had her daughter, it was my sister-in-law's greatest wish to have a little girl that she could raise into beautiful young woman. Even in the hospital, her hopes and wishes were centered around going home and being a good mother. Going shopping with her daughter, attending her piano recital's, buying dresses, taking her for hair cuts and manicures, watching her grow - looking forward to prom. It's a dream that can't come true not because she didn't do everything in her power to make it happen, but because her body failed her. But she never gave up hope. She never stopped believing that she'd get home someday.

This is a lesson that I have taken to heart. I will not give up on my own dream. Not until my own body fails me. I will keep trying. Because she never gave up. Through the worst pain and suffering a person can endure, she never gave up hope. For her sake, I can't give up either. I will take over her dreams and see that her daughter is loved and cared for as one of my own, that I am there for my niece whenever she needs me, just as her mother would have been. I'll also see my own dream through and continue to seek out a new agent or go back to the editors who were interested in seeing a revision myself. And I hope that I'll find someone who, like my wonderful critique readers, loves my new MS. And if and when my book gets published, I will dedicate it to my sister-in-law whose beautiful and strong spirit will forever be my inspiration.

Family Crisis

I'm sorry guys but due to a family crisis, I'll be too distracted to blog, tweet, facebook, etc. I didn't want to disappear on you all without a word and the girls, da man and I are fine. But the family is going through an emotional time and we're pulling together. I know that I feel like I'm swimming through jello right now. But I keep praying for a miracle.

May you all stay in good health and happiness.

Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 37

December 26th was Youngest's birthday. She opened all her presents, with the help of her big sisters. I told the girls to help her take them up. This is how they helped.


The girls piled all of Youngest's birthday presents in her arms and left the Moonsand's handle by her foot.

Youngest shouted, "You guys! Help me carry my presents! I only have tiny arms, a big head and a small butt!!!"

I laughed and took a picture. Then I let small butt take her own presents up to her room.

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Happy Holidays!

On the last week of Christmas, Verizon gave to me .... 5 GRUESOME DAYS!!!
4 No - calling phones
3 Fried computers
2 nervous breakdowns
and no phone or internet service ... because of an icy tree.

But now I'm back.

Happy holidays everyone!!!

Funniest commercial of the year

As soon as you watch it, you will know why the Oh family finds it so funny. And that is all the warning you need to know what it is about. he he.

PS - I'm dedicating this video to Mike Jung cause he didn't pick me to win his best title contest even though I had the best title for him. "The Gastacular MagnaniAnus SplendifOdorous Poopoobah Mike Jung." I was robbed I say! Robbed!!!! So I dedicate this video to the Poopoobah.

Tis the season to be grading

Fa la la la la, La kill me now...

Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 36

One lone, white, fluffy, white rabbit still hops around our neighborhood. The girls have nicknamed him Mimsy. The last Mimsy has graced us with a huge pile of rabbit poop on our little lawn. Hard to believe such a small rabbit could leave behind such a large pile of poo. The girls, of course, thought it was funny, until the other morning.

All three girls were eating coco puffs, letting the round brown balls get soggy in their milk.

Angus - I love coco puffs but they get soggy real fast.

Youngest - Yeah, and they look like rabbit poo poo. (she begins to laugh hysterically and smushes them down in her bowl.) See? They look just like the big pile of poo poo Mimsy left out front.

Oldest - I just lost my appetite.

Angus - Me too.

Youngest - Look, I'm eating rabbit poop! (Opens her mouth filled with brown sludge.)

Oldest and Angus silently lift up their still full bowls and scrape them into the food disposal as Youngest continues to munch on her coco puffs. That's my girl.

Rain/Colbert Dance-off

Pacatrue reminded me of the Stephen Colbert show's episode with Rain from last year. The background on this, for those who missed it, is that last year Stephen Colbert came in 2nd behind Rain on Time's 100 most influential people in the world. So he challenged Rain to a dance off. Even if you don't like Rain, you gotta love this skit.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Rain Dance-Off
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

Ninja Assassin

Just saw Ninja Assassin this weekend. Bloody awful gorefest with some sickening violence that even made me flinch and squirm. But it was all worth it to watch Korean pop singing sensation Rain in his first Hollywood lead role of a major film. Da Man hit me a couple of times when my drooling and deep breathing got a little out of hand.



But then my friend sends me this picture of Rain at Dulles airport in DC.




I'm sure those flowers are for me...

Am in a Monty Python Mood

I remember watching Monty Python and the Flying Circus on PBS growing up. This was my absolute favorite sketch next to Spam and the Ministry of Silly Walks sketches. And I don't know what would have happened to my sense of humor if I had never seen The Holy Grail or Life of Brian. I wouldn't be half as funny without their influence.

Pete Dudley just linked me up to USAToday articles celebrating their 40th anniversary. Thanks Pete!

Congratulations to the Monty Python troupe for celebrating 40 years of the funniest shows and films ever made!

Lost in Inertia

For the past few months my blogging activity has been sporadic and my google reader has been set to 1000+ but is more accurately over 5,000 which makes me want to roll up into a fetal position and suck my thumb. I've not been really making rounds to my blogging buddies because it's been feeling a bit overwhelming. Too many posts to read. Too many people to see. Too many things to do. I should just overcome it and attack my google reader but inertia has set in.

So I've been pondering this, wondering what's going on. Used to be the highlight of my week was making the rounds and reading everyone's blog entries. And I know it isn't that I don't care anymore. I'm still intensely interested and I'll find myself clicking over for a quick read here and there. But I'm not commenting a lot, feeling like I don't have much to say. I'm just not as active as before and I don't know if it is laziness or something else.

The more I thought about it, the more I came to a realization that I'm feeling a bit lost. In part it's because I've been trapped in revision purgatory for a year, with this continual feeling of 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I just haven't had anything good to report in so very long. Yes I'll blog about something funny every once in awhile but making the rounds is a conversation. And my conversation has been one note. I can't even say I'm almost done or I hope to be done soon, because I've thought I've been done before and found that I wasn't.

So this is where I'm at. Not bad, but not great. Feeling trapped and wondering if I'll ever get free. Anyone else feel like this? Lost and a bit helpless? And it doesn't help that we are coming up on to the busy holiday season and the busy final season at school. Usually around this time I feel like I'm treading water and I know I'll be busy til the New Year. But until I can finally say I'm done revising and the MS goes back out on submission, I think I'm going to continue to feel trapped in limbo.

But it wasn't all bad. This revision process has been the greatest learning experience of my life. Working with my agent, my wonderful freelance editor, and my crit buddies, I've grown so much as a writer. My MS keeps getting better and better with each revision. I still love it. I can't even say I'm sick of it. I love it cause I basically created the kind of story that I want to read. Mythic, historic, magical, violent, brutal, tender, tragic and uplifting. I'm hoping that one day others will read it and love it too, but until that day, I just have to keep working.

Oldest had to work on her story for her 5th grade writing class the other day and she said to me, "Mom, revising is the hardest part of writing." I said, "You're absolutely right, but revising is where you take your lump of coal and polish out your beautiful diamond." I've been seeing my diamond shining through the coal. I still have a layer of black to polish through, but I know I'll make it. I just have to.

Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 35

I finally caved to all of Oldest's pitiful pleading and allowed her to watch Twilight the movie. The caveat was she had to watch it with me. So I have to admit to finding the movie cheesy and entertaining all at the same time. I think it will be less painful than I thought to watch the next in the series. But there were several points in the plot that I could see Oldest getting squirmy.

Me: What's the matter?

Oldest: It's so much creepier to see it.

Me: See what?

Oldest: He's watching her as she sleeps and she doesn't even know it. That's so creepy. Plus he's wearing pink lipstick.

Me: Yeah, how embarrassing - especially the lipstick part. In fact, I think I have that exact lipstick shade. How embarrassing for me!

Oldest: I would hate having someone staring at me while I sleep. It's too weird and creey.

Me: Not to mention uncomfortable. What if you snore or fart in your sleep?

Oldest: Or pick your nose or scratch your butt or drool all over your pillow, like Angus.

(both of us begin to giggle madly before we are silent again.)

Oldest: Hey Mom, can you do me a favor?

Me: Yeah?

Oldest: Can you promise to never talk like this in front of my friends, ever?

Me: Oh no, are you saying I embarrass you now?

Oldest: Yes, but don't worry, you're not alone, all parents are embarrassing.

Me: I'm hurt.

Oldest: Get over it, you're a grown up.

Me: (sigh) And clearly so are you.

Random Funny Things My Mom Says - Part 3

I used to date a boy that worked in a pizza parlor.

Mom: Who are you going out with?

Me: Tom

Mom: Pizza boy?

Me (annoyed): At least he's Korean American. Dad threatened to disown me if I didn't date a Korean boy.

Mom: Yes. (long pause) But he's a pizza boy. Why can't you go out with a doctor or a lawyer or ... Well, a doctor or a lawyer.

Me: Sheesh, you're so prejudiced!

Mom: That's not true! I said a lawyer is ok! And you know everyone hates lawyers!

Me: Nice to know how you really feel about lawyers. (I was in law school at the time.)

Mom: They are an unnecessary evil.

Me: Uhhhhhhh, never mind.

Mom: You should have been a doctor.

When Harry Met Sally - vignettes

My favorite part of When Harry met Sally were the little vignettes of old couples talking about how they met. Two of my favorites are the "We never met" and the "I sneak into her willage" couples. Too cute for words. For years I've been quoting these vignettes all wrong. It's nice to see them again and remember their original charm.

Mr. Nerd

When I was in college, there was a boy who was possibly the biggest nerd on campus. I use the term nerd in the most affectionate manner for he was a nice nerd. Needy and ugly, but nice. He was especially needy for female affection and would latch on to girls like a crack addict sucking on his crackpipe. He was a true nerd, extremely smart, coke bottle glasses with black frames, button down short sleeve shirts with high waisted pants, and a humongous Frankenstein head. He even had a suitably nerdy name - Eugene. There was no doubt that he was the smartest kid on campus, he physically had the biggest brain.

I'd gone to high school with Eugene and had tolerated him in my half nice/half sarcastic bitch manner. But in college, I didn't have a class with him again until my sophomore year. The first thing I noticed was how big his head looked, but he was still the overly anxious nerdy nice guy that I'd teased before. Not unexpectedly, he latched on to me that semester, even going so far as to take the train home with me and getting off at my station, although I knew he lived 2 stations back. He'd bring me candy and constantly ask me if I were hungry. I sympathized slightly for at the time I was madly in love with Eddie, my Cuban American lab partner in Organic Chemistry. I hated Organic Chemistry but I adored Eddie who was just about the sexiest thing I'd ever seen in my whole life. It was also the start for my love of Cuban food as Eddie would take me to these delicious little Cuban joints in the city. But Eddie was already dating some beautiful theater major over at the Tisch School of Arts, but that didn't stop me from flirting madly with him over our bunsen burners and through our steamy goggles. I never had a real chance with Eddie, his girlfriend was way too possessive, just like Eugene never had a shot with me. But I always thought of Eugene as a nice guy, no matter how irritating he could be.

Fast forward nearly 20 years later. I'm at a reception and I notice a humongous Frankenstein head. There can only be one other head that big. I wander over and lo and behold, it's Eugene. He's gotten stouter and I don't know if memory is playing me false or what but his head looks even bigger. You've got to have some pretty strong neck muscles to hold up a head that big. His glasses are thinner and more fashionable and he is wearing a nice suit, although it doesn't fit him that well. But otherwise, he looks exactly the same. Still ugly.

I smile and saunter over to say hello.

"Eugene!" I say.

His large head swivels over with an imperious twist and he stares at me down the side of his nose. "Yes," he says with quite a sharp and impatient tone."

"It's me, Ellen, from NYU. How are you?"

"Ellen, Ellen, Ellen," he says in this really unctuous tone. "How are you? What do you do now? Did you go to med school?"

"No, I went to law school," I respond, not sure how to take him. He immediately launches into how he went to medical school and has a thriving practice in the area and how his son is a genius pianist who'll probably go to Juliard and his other child will definitely go to Harvard or Yale and then introduced me to his third wife. Yes he told me she's his third wife. All the time, speaking in this arrogant, offensive and belittling manner towards me.

His ego had finally surpassed his ginormous head.

As soon as I could, I extricated myself from him and his third wife and fled the scene thinking my friendly nice nerd had turned into an unbearable jackass. This saddened me and I started thinking about how when you practice law, you come across so many assholes that you know were most likely nerds when they were younger. What caused them to change? What makes a nice person turn into a jackass? I don't know, but I definitely don't want to remember this new Eugene. I prefer the old one, with his sweet demeanor and ugly face that grew on you. Too bad that Eugene is gone forever.

Funny Asians in Slo Mo

I have stolen this video from the Angry Asian Man blog because I laughed so hard I cried, coughed out a lung and peed myself and then immediately wanted to share this moment with all of my wonderful faithful blog readers.

WARNING - You may need to put on a pair of Depends protective undergarments before watching the following video. And if you don't laugh in the first 3 minutes, I guarantee you will be snorting coffee up your nose when you get to 3:46 on this video. Guaranteed.

You have been warned.



PS - it's a fish not a gun.
PPS - yes, I'm pretty sure he's dancing with yellow underwear on his hands.

Ploppy the Penguin

I was completely out of ideas for a blog post when I asked the girls if they wanted to put something up. They made me take this picture and then made up a story to go with it. So here it is. An Oh girls original.

Ploppy the Penguin
By the Oh girls

Once upon a time there was a little penguin named Ploppy. He had two friends named Pinky the pink mermaid and Penelope the purple dragon. One day Ploppy was thirsty and looked in his refrigerator but there was nothing to drink. Then he looked in his cabinet but all that there was was bags and bags of Funyuns and on the top shelf in the farthest corner there was a bottle of Frank's Red Hot hot sauce. So he decided to drink it.

At first he turned very pale. Then he turned bright red, then dark red, then red orange, then purple, green, blue and all the colors of the rainbow. His throat was burned and his tongue was on fire! He ran out into the snow and screamed "HELP!!!" Penelope the dragon and Pinky the mermaid were outside. Ploppy screamed "Help" again and fire shot from his beak. The fire burned off all of Pinky's beautiful pink hair.

"Quick!" Penelope said. "Eat the snow!"

Ploppy began gulping down piles and piles of snow until finally his throat no longer burned. He sighed in relief.

But Pinky was furious and hit Ploppy in the stomach with her strong tail.

Ploppy went "Ooooooof!" and then his stomach began to rumble louder and louder and faster and faster like a motorcycle. Then he said "Uh Oh!" Suddenly, the rumbling stopped and a humongous fart blasted him into the air, melting away all the snow, and burning off all of his feathers.

Pinky was satisfied and jumped into the ocean, away from the terrible smell. Penelope caught Ploppy before he hit the ground and took away his bottle of Red Hot hot sauce. Because only dragons should be allowed to breathe fire.

The End

The Hwacha - Korean Rocket Launcher

I do a lot of research for my books. In fact, I adore research. So imagine my surprise when one of the coolest weapons in Korean history was not discovered by me and my nerdy library research skills, but by Da Man. Da Man who hasn't been inside a library since law school. Yes him. He found this genuine artifact of Korean history. On TV. How funny is that? So what is this thing? It's the Hwacha - a Korean rocket launcher. Below is a model displayed at the Seoul War Memorial. The Hwacha is this really awesome, really cool weapon invented in the 1400s by Korean scientists. But it doesn't really look that impressive right?

It's basically a two wheeled cart with a launch pad with 200 holes filled with ammunition. Ah, but there in lies the beauty of this weapon. The ammunition is made up of small rockets attached to iron spiked arrows, each with a small paper bag filled with gunpowder attached to its fletching. Once the weapon is ignited, it fires off all 200 arrows in mere seconds with a trajectory of 500 meters. That's more than five football fields, folks. To really have an idea what it would look like, here's a very short clip of an actual hwacha in action.

Da Man caught this on The Discovery Channel's Mythbusters show and yelled at me to come down and watch it. I was blown away. Mythbusters made their own replica and tested it out to prove that it actually worked and would be deadly against a large attacking army. Score one for Da Man.

So why am I bringing it up? Well first of all, it's cool as hell! Secondly, I plan on using the hwacha in my books. I couldn't fit it into my current book but I plan to use it in the final book, where an all out frenzied battle royale will see 50 of these in play against a large demon army. Course this all depends upon selling the first book. So be patient my lovely little hwacha. Your time will come soon. And the world will know the power of your awesomeness. Cue evil laugh.

Black Eyed Peas

Really liking this Black Eyed Peas video with Oprah. It's quite cool. You can see she's totally shocked by what's happening. FYI - that's 21,000 fans/dancers in the crowd!