Welcome to the book launch celebration of the fantastic Elsie Chapman’s debut novel DUALED with your hosts Ellen Oh and Elsie Chapman! Yes, dance party time!!!
Ellen - Ok, it is a party for DUALED so we need to get a little serious now. I think the best way to promote this fabulous, action packed thriller is by an ALT Faceoff!! After all, the whole premise of the book is “You or your Alt!” And DUALED has an extremely strong female character who is just a serious kickass hero! West is awesome! She is so awesome that we need to pick some serious contenders here to see who could match up to her.
The first pairing is Matt Damon vs Jeremy Renner from the Bourne movie series. Technically, this is a perfect ALT pairing because they are playing the same person. So they really are movie Alts.
Elsie –Someone has not kept up with her Bourne movies, Ellen Oh.
Ellen - *sneaks off to read movie summary on IMDB, sneaks back.* Clearly you misunderstood what I was saying. I was trying to say that they are playing the same type of person. You know ruthless killer assassin type persons, sheesh… Ahem, moving along, so as ASSASSINS, they make the perfect movie Alts…
Elsie—Seeing that there’s only so many identical twins who are celebrities, I think it’s okay for us to take some liberties for contenders. With the one caveat being there must be a Canadian connection (yay, Canada!), just so they make some kind of sense.
Ellen—Sounds good to me! But for those of our readers who don’t know anything about DUALED, can you explain a bit about how Alts come about?
Elsie—In DUALED, Alts share physical genes so they look alike. But their personalities are different, and environmental factors over the years can also alter their looks a bit. So let’s pretend that that’s the case with Matt Damon as Jason Bourne and Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross in our first Alt face off.
Ellen – Yes, of course! Matt Damon is Bourne and Renner is Cross, not the same person. I so knew that… Well, I’m gonna have to give the advantage to Matt Damon. He seems physically bigger and stronger and much more attractive. I think it’s the size of his big head.
Elsie –Moving aside from the fact that I didn’t know you found big heads attractive, I’m going to argue for Renner. Cross is small, fast, he’s lived through the worst case of the flu, and becomes a genetically enhanced superspy (I think Bourne is, too, but since it’s not pointed out, it doesn’t count, hehe).
Ellen – Nah, I’m gonna have to go with Matt Damon on this one. He is so freaking badass he beats someone up with a towel, a newspaper, a pen, and even a book!! A BOOK!! That is so hot… Plus you know what they say about big heads, right? Big brains!
Elsie – You got to pick first! Of course I think Damon could beat the living crap out of Renner. I mean, the damn pen!!! That was amazing!
Ellen – whispers – Matt Damon is also American… shhhhhh, don’t remind Elsie…
Ellen – Ok next pairing. I recognize Cato from the Hunger Games but who the heck is the emo looking red-eyed boy?
Elsie—You do know that Cato isn’t his real name, right?
Ellen—A Cato by any other name would still be a Cato to me.
Elsie—Okay, to be fair, I can’t remember, either. I just googled the movie name+Canadian+actor. But he plays a vampire named Alec from New Moon. I picked them because they’re both Canadian and they’re both in super successful movie franchises.
Ellen – So it’s vampires vs tributes…
Elsie – Yes! And my pick is Cato because, well, it’s The Hunger Games vs Twilight.
Ellen – Yeah I’m gonna have to agree with you on this one, Hunger Games trumps Twilight. Besides, Cato was actually quite intimidating in THG, I don’t think emo-boy could scare a bunch of kindergartners. I’m pretty sure my 9 yr old can take him.
Elsie—Before you can use the word “emo” again, I’m going to introduce the next celebrity Alt match—
Ellen – Oh no, you did not just put Justin Bieber in our ALT FACEOFF, did you?
Elsie –Hell, yes! Bieber, the quintessential Canadian superstar. You cannot deny his popularity, Ellen.
Ellen – YOU PUT JUSTIN BIEBER IN OUR FACEOFF?!
Elsie – Even Bieber would have an Alt. Though I don't think he could sing his way to Completion…he might actually have to fight… Hmm, now I’m wondering…
Ellen – I can’t even …
Elsie – Yeah, okay, fine. Carly Rae wins!!! And she’s a local BC girl, too. Love her just for that.
Ellen – I think I would have voted for pretty much anyone against Bieber but Carly Rae definitely for girl power and because she seriously rocks those bangs!
Ellen – So here we are at our last and final ALT Faceoff! Ryan vs. Ryan!
Elsie_-I should probably mention here that both Ryans ARE Canadian. Because in no way would we pick two Alts based solely on looks. That has absolutely nothing to do with it at all.
Ellen – Well, it’s the Green Lantern vs the Hey Girl meme guy!
Elsie – I think Reynolds wears a lot of foundation.
Ellen – Ha! They are both very pretty and I’m fairly sure Gosling’s got better skin than me.
Elsie –See, normally I’d automatically call it for Reynolds because he played a super hero. But Gosling with Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love? Manly man, indeed.
Ellen – You know if we are going solely by fashion sense, I am really digging Gosling’s suit…
Elsie – Screw the suit.
And then there’s this:
And then THIS:
Elsie – And. That. Is. All.
Ellen – huh, what did you say? I was too busy drooling all over my keyboard…
Elsie – So that’s it, game over, Gosling wins by a—
Ellen – (slaps herself hard) WAIT JUST A MINUTE! You may have the sexy but Reynolds was not only the Green lantern, he was also Wade Wilson from X-Men - Wolverine and he was pretty badass there. Plus he was scary as that hybrid messed up character with no mouth at the end.
Ellen – I admit, hard to look at after the Gosling, but we are talking ALTs here!
Elsie – I think we can declare this Alt match up a true tie. So they both implode. And the world is a far, far, FAR, lesser place.
Ellen – Well quite frankly I don’t think any of our contenders today would hold a candle to West! I personally think West would take them all out and they’d never see her coming.
Elsie –I really kinda love that she’s a bit sneaky, too. Such as that stunt she pulls near the end, the one with Chord…you know what I mean.
Ellen – You are not allowed to spoil it!!! Although can I just say that I’m in love with Chord! He is my fictional boyfriend. That is he would be my fictional boyfriend if I weren’t so afraid of West…
Elsie – She’d kick your ass, but then she might feel a bit guilty. The girl doesn’t make it easy on herself.
Ellen - And that’s why I love West and I love DUALED!! Congratulations Elsie! I’m SO HAPPY that DUALED is out in the world now!!!
Elsie—THANK YOU SO MUCH, ELLEN!!!