So I was over at my folks for a short visit last week with the kids when I happened to notice that my Mom keeps watching the French channel. When I asked her why she said, "Your sister married a Frenchman, so I need to learn French."
Me - By watching the French news?
Mom - Yes, same like English. How you think I learn good English? From watching TV.
Me - Riiiiiiiight.
Later on that night, I come home to find my Mom still watching TV, but something has changed.
Me - I thought you said you was trying to learn French?
Mom - I am.
Me - Then why are you watching the Italian news?
Mom - Italian? Waaaaaaaah? No wonder I don't know what they talking about!
Me - Riiiiiiiight.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Gassy Gus
Today at the toy store, Oldest and I found the perfect present for Angus.
Although technically we don't need this game to have a gassy blast. Angus provides us with all the gassy entertainment we need. And at $30.00 bucks, our version is cheaper, but stinkier.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids say - Part 28
The other day the girls were joking around when Angus presses her nose up and says "Who am I?" The girls laugh and Oldest shouts out "Oh my gosh, you look just like _____ from tae kwon do!"
I immediately chide them for making fun of another person, reminding them that making fun of things a person can't change is mean and rude.
"I'm not making fun of her, Mommy!" Angus states. "I'm just making a connection. A connection between a pig nose and her nose. That's all. It's just making connections! What's so mean about that?"
"You know you are being really mean, now stop it."
Angus pauses. "But I'm not. For example, I noticed you ate sour cream and onion potato chips and now your breath is stinky. I am not being mean. I'm just making a connection between your stinky breath and the potato chips!"
That's one mean smart girl.
I immediately chide them for making fun of another person, reminding them that making fun of things a person can't change is mean and rude.
"I'm not making fun of her, Mommy!" Angus states. "I'm just making a connection. A connection between a pig nose and her nose. That's all. It's just making connections! What's so mean about that?"
"You know you are being really mean, now stop it."
Angus pauses. "But I'm not. For example, I noticed you ate sour cream and onion potato chips and now your breath is stinky. I am not being mean. I'm just making a connection between your stinky breath and the potato chips!"
That's one mean smart girl.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Fantasy in Asia
Today I'm camped out over at the Enchanted Inkpot hoping for some discussion about my post on "Fantasy in Asia." So please please PLEASE will you go here and make some sort of comment even if it is to yell at me for posting such a long ass post? Even if all you do is tell me I bored you to tears? But it would be even better if you could share your opinions on the very interesting subject matter, but beggars can't be choosers.
So Ima beggin' ya, please go and comment. And if you do, I will reward you all! There will be a contest coming soon to win an awesome prize at the end of the month just for commenting... Ok this is a lie, I was going to have a contest anyway to raffle off 2 signed copies of Cindy Pon's new book (how awesome am I? and how awesome is Cindy?). But it would really mean a lot to me if I had lots and lots of wonderful comments over at the Enchanted Inkpot so that all the real published authors I'm hanging out with see that I am pretty darn useful to have around.
Alright groveling over, knuckles are cracking...
So Ima beggin' ya, please go and comment. And if you do, I will reward you all! There will be a contest coming soon to win an awesome prize at the end of the month just for commenting... Ok this is a lie, I was going to have a contest anyway to raffle off 2 signed copies of Cindy Pon's new book (how awesome am I? and how awesome is Cindy?). But it would really mean a lot to me if I had lots and lots of wonderful comments over at the Enchanted Inkpot so that all the real published authors I'm hanging out with see that I am pretty darn useful to have around.
Alright groveling over, knuckles are cracking...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 27
My parents were over for the weekend and were watching the kids. We had eaten dinner and the kids forgot to clear the table.
Mom: You kids have to do more to help around the house.
Oldest: We do! We clean up our rooms and put away our stuff.
Mom: No, that's just your stuff. You need to do more to help your mother.
Angus: Like what?
Mom: When your mother was little she did lots to help. She mopped the floor, set the table, made dinner, did the laundry, washed the dishes, and lots more.
The kids stare at my Mom in shock.
Angus whispers to Oldest: Poor Mommy, I'm so glad Grandma isn't our Mommy. She's mean.
Youngest: Grandma, Angus called you mean!
Angus: I meant she was mean to Mommy. Not now! You are a nice Grandma! The bestest nicest most wonderful Grandma in the whole world. (Way to work for that birthday present!) But well, you were kind of, sort of, a little bit mean to Mommy.
Youngest: Yeah like a wicked stepmother mean.
Grandma just laughs.
Angus turns to me: Did Daddy have to work like a slave for his Mommy too?
Me: No.
Oldest cuts in: He's lucky.
Me: No, it's cause he's a boy.
Oldest: Oh yeah, boys are useless.
Mom: You kids have to do more to help around the house.
Oldest: We do! We clean up our rooms and put away our stuff.
Mom: No, that's just your stuff. You need to do more to help your mother.
Angus: Like what?
Mom: When your mother was little she did lots to help. She mopped the floor, set the table, made dinner, did the laundry, washed the dishes, and lots more.
The kids stare at my Mom in shock.
Angus whispers to Oldest: Poor Mommy, I'm so glad Grandma isn't our Mommy. She's mean.
Youngest: Grandma, Angus called you mean!
Angus: I meant she was mean to Mommy. Not now! You are a nice Grandma! The bestest nicest most wonderful Grandma in the whole world. (Way to work for that birthday present!) But well, you were kind of, sort of, a little bit mean to Mommy.
Youngest: Yeah like a wicked stepmother mean.
Grandma just laughs.
Angus turns to me: Did Daddy have to work like a slave for his Mommy too?
Me: No.
Oldest cuts in: He's lucky.
Me: No, it's cause he's a boy.
Oldest: Oh yeah, boys are useless.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Enchanted Inkpot
Hey guys! I want to share with you the launch of a new collaborative blog that I have been working on that goes live April 1st! I want to share with you the press release and invite you all to come by and take a tour. The beautiful artwork on the header is by my wonderful illustrator buddy Virginia Allyn and we are featuring lots of amazing authors whose debut books will be coming soon. So spread the word and come on by for some fascinating discussion on kidlit fantasy!
The Enchanted Inkpot Blog to Focus on Kidlit Fantasy
March 30, 2009 — Twenty writers (and one illustrator) of middle-grade and young-adult fantasy have joined forces to launch The Enchanted Inkpot (EI), a collaborative blog focused on high, historical, traditional and cross-genre fantasy. EI is located at The Enchanted Inkpot.
"The idea was to create a blogging community for people who write, read, or otherwise adore fantasy stories written for middle grade and young adult readers," said blog founder Marissa Doyle, author of Bewitching Season (Henry Holt, 2008) and Betraying Season (September 2009), young adult fantasies set in Regency England. "Authors who write MG and YA fantasy are among the most vociferous supporters of this genre, so they're forming the nucleus of the group, but we hope that anyone who loves fantasy for kids and teens will participate."
EI will feature interviews with established fantasy writers as well as newcomers to the genre. April will feature an interview with Elizabeth C. Bunce, whose A Curse Dark as Gold (2008) won the American Library Association's first-ever Morris Award for a debut young adult novel. In May, Tamora Pierce, bestselling author of Melting Stones (Circle Reforged), Terrier, the classic Song of the Lioness novels and other award-winning YA fantasies, will talk about her newest YA book, Bloodhound.
EI will also celebrate its own members, kicking off with an interview with Ellen Jensen Abbot, whose debut YA novel, Watersmeet, will be released in April by Marshall Cavendish. Two other EI members' books also debut in April: Deva Fagan's fairy tale novel, Fortune's Folly (Henry Holt), and Cindy Pon's Asian-inspired Silver Phoenix: Beyond the Kingdom of the Xia (Greenwillow). A detailed list of all members' published books is provided under the Member Bios section of the blog.
To foster community and reader participation, the blog will devote the first day or two of every week to a Topic of the Week. In April, the first week's topic will be "fantasy in Asia," followed the second week by a discussion of how you "write what you know" in a fantasy novel.
Finally, EI will offer a monthly book club and other features as well as contests, quizzes, and news of members and others in the industry.
The Enchanted Inkpot Blog to Focus on Kidlit Fantasy
March 30, 2009 — Twenty writers (and one illustrator) of middle-grade and young-adult fantasy have joined forces to launch The Enchanted Inkpot (EI), a collaborative blog focused on high, historical, traditional and cross-genre fantasy. EI is located at The Enchanted Inkpot.
"The idea was to create a blogging community for people who write, read, or otherwise adore fantasy stories written for middle grade and young adult readers," said blog founder Marissa Doyle, author of Bewitching Season (Henry Holt, 2008) and Betraying Season (September 2009), young adult fantasies set in Regency England. "Authors who write MG and YA fantasy are among the most vociferous supporters of this genre, so they're forming the nucleus of the group, but we hope that anyone who loves fantasy for kids and teens will participate."
EI will feature interviews with established fantasy writers as well as newcomers to the genre. April will feature an interview with Elizabeth C. Bunce, whose A Curse Dark as Gold (2008) won the American Library Association's first-ever Morris Award for a debut young adult novel. In May, Tamora Pierce, bestselling author of Melting Stones (Circle Reforged), Terrier, the classic Song of the Lioness novels and other award-winning YA fantasies, will talk about her newest YA book, Bloodhound.
EI will also celebrate its own members, kicking off with an interview with Ellen Jensen Abbot, whose debut YA novel, Watersmeet, will be released in April by Marshall Cavendish. Two other EI members' books also debut in April: Deva Fagan's fairy tale novel, Fortune's Folly (Henry Holt), and Cindy Pon's Asian-inspired Silver Phoenix: Beyond the Kingdom of the Xia (Greenwillow). A detailed list of all members' published books is provided under the Member Bios section of the blog.
To foster community and reader participation, the blog will devote the first day or two of every week to a Topic of the Week. In April, the first week's topic will be "fantasy in Asia," followed the second week by a discussion of how you "write what you know" in a fantasy novel.
Finally, EI will offer a monthly book club and other features as well as contests, quizzes, and news of members and others in the industry.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Warning - this little piggy is about to blow!
Here's the thing. I drive a big ass mini-van. Honda Odyssey to be precise. This is not a small car. It does not have a small turning radius. To make a right turn, I swing out a little wide in order to avoid hitting the curb. That means if I am turning into traffic, the lane next to the one I am turning into has to be clear too, or I risk hitting another car. Take a look at an 18 wheeler. Ever seen one of those suckers turn? They gotta swing out all the way to the left before making a right, and then take up all 3 lanes in order to make a right hand turn and sometimes they still get stuck.
I would think this is really simple for people to understand. Big wide car, big wide swing. But no. For some reason, people in small cars think big cars are just like them. No, dumbass, we are not. So quit honking at me Mr. ThinksHe'sSoHotGangsterRapPlayingNerdyBoy driving his little ass toyota corolla with the big ugly whale tail sticking out of its pathetic little trunk space like a guppie with an identity crisis. Rockville Pike is a very heavily trafficked road with cars driving way over 60mph. And on top of all this, you stupid little cretin. I am driving a mini-van, ergo, I probably have kids in said mini-van. I am not about to jeopardize my children's lives just because you are late heading home to surf the internet for hot dates and heavy double-clicking action with Ms. Lilly of the Valley who is actually some fat dude in Pasadena named Larry. So back off!
That is all.
I would think this is really simple for people to understand. Big wide car, big wide swing. But no. For some reason, people in small cars think big cars are just like them. No, dumbass, we are not. So quit honking at me Mr. ThinksHe'sSoHotGangsterRapPlayingNerdyBoy driving his little ass toyota corolla with the big ugly whale tail sticking out of its pathetic little trunk space like a guppie with an identity crisis. Rockville Pike is a very heavily trafficked road with cars driving way over 60mph. And on top of all this, you stupid little cretin. I am driving a mini-van, ergo, I probably have kids in said mini-van. I am not about to jeopardize my children's lives just because you are late heading home to surf the internet for hot dates and heavy double-clicking action with Ms. Lilly of the Valley who is actually some fat dude in Pasadena named Larry. So back off!
That is all.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Why doth spring despiseth me tho mush?
Blame the springtime allergies for sounding like Elmer Fudd. I love this time of the year when the sun shines bright and the air is crisp and clean and filled with pollen that attacks my sinuses and reddens my eyes and leaves me with a constant drippy nose. It appears that spring hates me as much as I love it. I can honestly blame spring for my eternal bewilderment at myself lately. My stupidity has escalated to troublesome levels. My right brain is constantly in a fight with my left brain and one of them is a stupidhead!
Today I grabbed a fresh towel, turned on the shower and walked in to the hot spray... with towel in hand... and my socks still on. (Look my socks were clearly dirty.) I stubbed my little toe three times in a row on a pile of books that I keep telling myself to move every time I stub my toe on it, and yet it is still there. I finally moved it to the corner of the coffee table where I promptly walked into with my knee, knocking them all off and onto the same stubbed toe.
Last night, realizing that I was completely out of zyrtec, I call Da Man, who was working late, and ask him to pick up some milk, bread and zyrtec on the way home. He calls me and remembered the milk and bread but couldn't remember the last item. Having no idea what I had previously asked for in my stupidhead stage, I enthusiastically replied "donuts" instead. So instead of allergy free relief, I had a glazed donut and... ok you know the pun I was going to make...
For the second time in a week, I have clicked into my google reader and instead of clicking to start reading all the new blog posts, I click mark all read and watch them disappear from my screen. All 581 posts. I have no idea who has posted new stuff now. I feel lost and betrayed by my own brain and rotten finger. At least I know 300 of them were from laughing wolf so I know I can always count on him for new stuff. Ok I exaggerate, Tony only had 286 new posts that I missed. ;o) I feel so lost without my google reader telling me what to read. I twiddle my thumbs and absently click on it a few times, but it still tells me I have no new posts to read.
As I was writing this post,I absently clicked on my homepage where my google reader is stationed in its own tab box, and realized I had clicked away from my blog post without saving it. Luckily for me blogger is liking me today, and it saved half of my post and you lucky people don't have to read more of my random stupidity involving q-tips, powdered donuts, vaseline, ripped pants hem, stairs, hair dye and a verizon technician, but not necessarily altogether.
I'm going to stop now before I break my computer and go blip music instead, cause while music can't cure stupidity, it forgives it.
Today I grabbed a fresh towel, turned on the shower and walked in to the hot spray... with towel in hand... and my socks still on. (Look my socks were clearly dirty.) I stubbed my little toe three times in a row on a pile of books that I keep telling myself to move every time I stub my toe on it, and yet it is still there. I finally moved it to the corner of the coffee table where I promptly walked into with my knee, knocking them all off and onto the same stubbed toe.
Last night, realizing that I was completely out of zyrtec, I call Da Man, who was working late, and ask him to pick up some milk, bread and zyrtec on the way home. He calls me and remembered the milk and bread but couldn't remember the last item. Having no idea what I had previously asked for in my stupidhead stage, I enthusiastically replied "donuts" instead. So instead of allergy free relief, I had a glazed donut and... ok you know the pun I was going to make...
For the second time in a week, I have clicked into my google reader and instead of clicking to start reading all the new blog posts, I click mark all read and watch them disappear from my screen. All 581 posts. I have no idea who has posted new stuff now. I feel lost and betrayed by my own brain and rotten finger. At least I know 300 of them were from laughing wolf so I know I can always count on him for new stuff. Ok I exaggerate, Tony only had 286 new posts that I missed. ;o) I feel so lost without my google reader telling me what to read. I twiddle my thumbs and absently click on it a few times, but it still tells me I have no new posts to read.
As I was writing this post,I absently clicked on my homepage where my google reader is stationed in its own tab box, and realized I had clicked away from my blog post without saving it. Luckily for me blogger is liking me today, and it saved half of my post and you lucky people don't have to read more of my random stupidity involving q-tips, powdered donuts, vaseline, ripped pants hem, stairs, hair dye and a verizon technician, but not necessarily altogether.
I'm going to stop now before I break my computer and go blip music instead, cause while music can't cure stupidity, it forgives it.
Monday, March 23, 2009
blip.fm
Those of you who don't know what blip.fm (like me 48 hours ago) are probably thinking what the heck is it? Well it is another website meant to suck up more of your already overtaxed time schedule... but if you love music, this place is awesome! Forget twitter and facebook, I could easily spend all my time at blip because I can search and play all my favorite songs and also see what my friends are playing and see if our musical tastes compliment or collide. I have discovered some awesome new music this way and am enjoying myself way too much. Like all things, I'm sure it is the relative novelty of it that I'm enjoying right now, but me thinks the musical component of it is what will keep me coming back. (Oh and you can link it to twitter and FB if you want!)
So if you love music, want to see some of my favorite songs and share some of your favorite songs with me, then find me at blip.fm/Ello and become a listener. If you are already on blip, then let me know so I can favorite you.
Try it out, you just might like it!
So if you love music, want to see some of my favorite songs and share some of your favorite songs with me, then find me at blip.fm/Ello and become a listener. If you are already on blip, then let me know so I can favorite you.
Try it out, you just might like it!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Only a true friend will tell you when you look like an ass
I was sitting at Starbucks grading papers and sitting next to a table of two little old ladies chatting loudly. I had been snorting softly into my chai tea as one of the ladies named Helen, a silver-haired pudgy lady with wrinkles like a basset hound and a voice like Lauren Bacall, was just cracking me up commenting in a loud slightly deaf manner about the shortcomings of various old ladies who apparently didn't know their ass from their elbows. Suddenly the other granny perks up at the sight of another friend entering the shop.
"Oh look Helen, there's Margie, and what on earth is she wearing?" asks the nicer granny.
I'm facing Helen, so I get a perfect view of her open mouthed expression as her triple chins drops to her chest. I turn around and see a stylish old lady in a lovely white coat and a matching white turban with a large jewel in the middle.
"Hi ladies," she beams as she takes off her coat and sits down. "Sorry I'm late but I couldn't do a thing with my hair." She pats at her turban and tries to tuck in a stray curl that slips out from the top of her forehead.
Helen finally closes her mouth and announces "You look like an ass!"
"Helen!" the nice granny chides.
"What? Look at it! Just look at it!"
"You're the ass!" Margie huffs furiously turning to the other woman. "I swear, can you believe her? I don't know how we put up with her sometimes!"
"No, no, you look lovely!" the other friend soothes.
Helen peers closely at the turban as Margie tries to shoo her away with an irritated wave.
"Well, so YOU don't look like an ass, but that thing on your head does. It looks like a wrinkly white ass that hasn't been waxed," she says. "You just look like a moron!" Helen sits back and nods with dignity.
Tears are escaping my stinging eyes as I desperately try not to snort in hysterical laughter. Helen catches my eye and says, "Go ahead and laugh before you wet yourself dearie!"
Too late!
I think I want to adopt her.
"Oh look Helen, there's Margie, and what on earth is she wearing?" asks the nicer granny.
I'm facing Helen, so I get a perfect view of her open mouthed expression as her triple chins drops to her chest. I turn around and see a stylish old lady in a lovely white coat and a matching white turban with a large jewel in the middle.
"Hi ladies," she beams as she takes off her coat and sits down. "Sorry I'm late but I couldn't do a thing with my hair." She pats at her turban and tries to tuck in a stray curl that slips out from the top of her forehead.
Helen finally closes her mouth and announces "You look like an ass!"
"Helen!" the nice granny chides.
"What? Look at it! Just look at it!"
"You're the ass!" Margie huffs furiously turning to the other woman. "I swear, can you believe her? I don't know how we put up with her sometimes!"
"No, no, you look lovely!" the other friend soothes.
Helen peers closely at the turban as Margie tries to shoo her away with an irritated wave.
"Well, so YOU don't look like an ass, but that thing on your head does. It looks like a wrinkly white ass that hasn't been waxed," she says. "You just look like a moron!" Helen sits back and nods with dignity.
Tears are escaping my stinging eyes as I desperately try not to snort in hysterical laughter. Helen catches my eye and says, "Go ahead and laugh before you wet yourself dearie!"
Too late!
I think I want to adopt her.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The Wonder Girls
The world is getting smaller because of the internet. And we have the ability to see and hear things from other countries and cultures that would have been virtually impossible twenty years ago. With MTV bringing us global videos and Youtube's reach, we can get a slice of the world anywhere.
So today I'll show you K-pop, which is short for Korean pop music. It is only fitting and just that I give you an example of some great K-pop after the hair curling Korean karoake video from last week.
And while it is bubble gum pop, I can't help but like it. One because the video cracks me up. You'll know why as soon as you see it. Hey! It must be in our blood or something. Koreans just love toilet humor!!! But this group is a little different. It's bubble gum pop with an R&B 60s twist. They are not the Dreamgirls, but the Wonder girls are pretty darn cool. Oh and while there are no subtitles, I think the video is pretty self-explanatory. And if you don't get it, the message is, always check for toilet paper!
So today I'll show you K-pop, which is short for Korean pop music. It is only fitting and just that I give you an example of some great K-pop after the hair curling Korean karoake video from last week.
And while it is bubble gum pop, I can't help but like it. One because the video cracks me up. You'll know why as soon as you see it. Hey! It must be in our blood or something. Koreans just love toilet humor!!! But this group is a little different. It's bubble gum pop with an R&B 60s twist. They are not the Dreamgirls, but the Wonder girls are pretty darn cool. Oh and while there are no subtitles, I think the video is pretty self-explanatory. And if you don't get it, the message is, always check for toilet paper!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Modern Toilet Restaurant
This is not my fault. If you are looking to blame anyone for this post, blame the incredibly talented artist Scott Mattlin. It is all his fault. He sent me this link and I have been incredibly grossed out and hysterical about it.
And so I must pass the pain on.
The Modern Toilet is apparently a popular restaurant chain in China where you get to pretend you are in the bathroom while you are eating. You sit on gold toilets and eat out of black potties.
And the soft serve ice cream in a small urinal looks like this.
I stole this from their website. "The arrival of the “Modern Toilet Restaurant” launches the next generation of toilet-themed restaurants! More variety, better service! With new ideas and new products, our goal is to become “The No. 1 Brand in Themed Chain Restaurants” (In an age where creative marketing is king, even feces can be turned into gold!)" http://www.moderntoilet.com.tw
I have serious potty humor. I know it. You all know it. And this is perfect potty humor. But you see, that's where I've gotta draw the line. It's probably because I have serious OCD, I can laugh my ass over this concept but actually going there to eat would probably freak me out way too much!
To quote Angus, "What if someone decides to go to the bathroom as they are eating? That would be disgusting!"
Oh yes! That would be so disgusting!
And so I must pass the pain on.
The Modern Toilet is apparently a popular restaurant chain in China where you get to pretend you are in the bathroom while you are eating. You sit on gold toilets and eat out of black potties.
And the soft serve ice cream in a small urinal looks like this.
I stole this from their website. "The arrival of the “Modern Toilet Restaurant” launches the next generation of toilet-themed restaurants! More variety, better service! With new ideas and new products, our goal is to become “The No. 1 Brand in Themed Chain Restaurants” (In an age where creative marketing is king, even feces can be turned into gold!)" http://www.moderntoilet.com.twI have serious potty humor. I know it. You all know it. And this is perfect potty humor. But you see, that's where I've gotta draw the line. It's probably because I have serious OCD, I can laugh my ass over this concept but actually going there to eat would probably freak me out way too much!
To quote Angus, "What if someone decides to go to the bathroom as they are eating? That would be disgusting!"
Oh yes! That would be so disgusting!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Funny Flight of Concords video
So I love this show. If you never have seen it, you should catch it on HBO because it is hysterical. But the reason I'm including this clip right now is because it is spot on classic Korean Karaoke at its best! The cheesy video, the swinging Lawrence Welk music, the messed up lyrics. If you go to Koreatown NYC (32nd street) there's about 20 of these Korean Karoake places where you can rent a room with a big screen tv and sing a huge range of songs from American and Korean to even Japanese and Chinese. The nice thing is that you are in your own room so you can make a fool of yourself in a private room filled with your drunk friends.
Seriously, this kills me because at my wedding my parents, who hosted a 350 person wedding solely to invite every Korean in New York that owed them some money, had hired a painful Korean band. And a bunch of drunk Korean ajushi's (Korean for older man who may or may not be drunk but is always loud) got up and started singing... badly... like this... I have it on video... it sucks...this is way better!
Did I ever mention that Da Man was drunk during the entire wedding ceremony? He swayed like a drunken sailor all during the vows. The wedding officant was so nervous he forgot to say the vows in English so neither of us recall ever saying we do and all the non Koreans assumed that Da Man had been traded for 2 oxen and a flock of sheep. I would have preferred a 2 carat diamond which I am still waiting for...
Seriously, this kills me because at my wedding my parents, who hosted a 350 person wedding solely to invite every Korean in New York that owed them some money, had hired a painful Korean band. And a bunch of drunk Korean ajushi's (Korean for older man who may or may not be drunk but is always loud) got up and started singing... badly... like this... I have it on video... it sucks...this is way better!
Did I ever mention that Da Man was drunk during the entire wedding ceremony? He swayed like a drunken sailor all during the vows. The wedding officant was so nervous he forgot to say the vows in English so neither of us recall ever saying we do and all the non Koreans assumed that Da Man had been traded for 2 oxen and a flock of sheep. I would have preferred a 2 carat diamond which I am still waiting for...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 26
We are in the car driving to take the older two to Korean school which Angus loathes. Stuck in traffic, Youngest lets out a huge burp. Recently this little critter has been letting out linebacker sized burps which is hysterical coming from this tiny 5 year old frame.
In the car, the girls are cracking up over the loud burp when Youngest rips out another, huger one. It's actually quite startling.
So I ask her, "Are you burping on purpose?"
"Yes," she answers with a big grin. "My body is a burp factory."
Angus is howling and shouts, "Do another!!!"
Youngest opens her mouth and nothing comes out.
"Sorry," she says. "The factory is now closed."
In the car, the girls are cracking up over the loud burp when Youngest rips out another, huger one. It's actually quite startling.
So I ask her, "Are you burping on purpose?"
"Yes," she answers with a big grin. "My body is a burp factory."
Angus is howling and shouts, "Do another!!!"
Youngest opens her mouth and nothing comes out.
"Sorry," she says. "The factory is now closed."
Saturday, March 7, 2009
This is sad, sad, sad...
For the first time in Ivy League history, an Asian American has been appointed President. Dr. Jim Young Kim, a Korean American, has been announced as the next Dartmouth College President. Instead of celebrating this wonderful occasion, his announcement was marred by the following email sent through the Dartmouth listserv:
Wow. Trying to write this off by saying it is not racist because it was just a joke is nearly as offensive as the email itself. And no disciplinary action taken? Ok, fine, but can you at least post up the writer's name and home address please? Me and a billion other Chinamen would like to meet with him in person. And for the record, a billion other people who are not Asian but are just as offended by this horrible email will also line up behind us.
Seriously, this is so not funny - well, it's probably funny... if you are a racist. I bet the neo-Nazis and the KKK were howling over this one. And once again, the comments and responses remind us that being racist towards Asians is just par for the course. What's the big deal? It's just a bad joke! Get over it! Reminds me of the whole Miley Cyrus episode. Comments are nearly identical. What's the big deal? They are just kidding around! Stop overreacting! In fact, in my Miley post, even after I made a plea to people to understand that the chinky eyes was offensive and racist to us Asian Americans, someone still posted a comment telling me I was overreacting. Yes a non-Asian, who has no idea of what it feels like to be called a slanty eyed chink, telling me I was overreacting. Thanks. So yeah, there is this complacency in society that seems to accept racism towards Asians as not being racist and if someone like me objects to it, well just roll your eyes and sneer at us chinky eyed, bad driving, buck-toothed, math loving nerds.
Historically, Asians have had a difficult time in this country. From the Chinese Exclusion Act to the Japanese internment camps. Let's not forget how Hawaii's rightful monarch was overthrown in order to be annexed by the US so that native Hawaiian's would be stripped of their property all for the benefit of the USA. But why is it that Asian's don't speak up? Many believe it is because our very culture teaches us to swallow bile and repress our anger. But no longer. We cannot be the silent minority any longer.
To all the Asians out there, stop swallowing the Chink jokes. Stop being quiet over the slanty-eyed comments, the bad driving and the Charlie Chan impersonations. There is enough outrage out there from all the communities to support our own. Racists are loud and ugly, but they are the minority now. And we need to teach them that this isn't funny. We need to teach them to stop passing on this demeaning hate to their children. We can't afford to be quiet anymore. Black, white, Asian, Latino, Jewish, Arab, Muslim, Hindi, whatever you are, the world is changing. The time is right to speak up. Join me, for I am shouting.
Date: March 3, 2009 11:06:39 AM ESTThe e-mail was sent to students and alumni and was supposedly a satirical compilation of the day's news written by a student intern. Apparently the author "of the original e-mail apologized for “inappropriate” and “insensitive” comments in an e-mail to the GGMM listserv on Tuesday, saying that the comments were intended to be satirical. The GGMM staff also offered a follow-up apology, saying they regretted their lack of oversight." (Dartmouth.com) Apparently the author has not been punished as it was decided that this matter "did not warrant college disciplinary action" because Dartmouth has no speech code. Nice Dartmouth! Link for article.
To: GOOD-MORNING@LISTSERV.DARTMOUTH.EDU
Subject: Good Morning
This is the Generic Good Morning Message for March 3, 2009.
Yesterday came the announcement that President of the College James Wright will be replaced by Chinaman Kim Jim Yong. And a little bit of me died inside.
It was a complete supplies.
On July 1, yet another hard-working American's job will be taken by an immigrant willing to work in substandard conditions at near-subsistent wage, saving half his money and sending the rest home to his village in the form of traveler's checks. Unless "Jim Yong Kim" means "I love Freedom" in Chinese, I don't want anything to do with him. Dartmouth is America, not Panda Garden Rice Village Restaurant.
Y'all get ready for an Asianification under the guise of diversity under the actual Malaysian-invasion leadership instituted under the guise of diversity. It's a slippery slope we are on. I for one want Democracy and apple pie, not Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen. I know I sure as shit won't ever be eating my Hop dubs bubs with chopsticks. I like to use my own two American hands.
Wow. Trying to write this off by saying it is not racist because it was just a joke is nearly as offensive as the email itself. And no disciplinary action taken? Ok, fine, but can you at least post up the writer's name and home address please? Me and a billion other Chinamen would like to meet with him in person. And for the record, a billion other people who are not Asian but are just as offended by this horrible email will also line up behind us.
Seriously, this is so not funny - well, it's probably funny... if you are a racist. I bet the neo-Nazis and the KKK were howling over this one. And once again, the comments and responses remind us that being racist towards Asians is just par for the course. What's the big deal? It's just a bad joke! Get over it! Reminds me of the whole Miley Cyrus episode. Comments are nearly identical. What's the big deal? They are just kidding around! Stop overreacting! In fact, in my Miley post, even after I made a plea to people to understand that the chinky eyes was offensive and racist to us Asian Americans, someone still posted a comment telling me I was overreacting. Yes a non-Asian, who has no idea of what it feels like to be called a slanty eyed chink, telling me I was overreacting. Thanks. So yeah, there is this complacency in society that seems to accept racism towards Asians as not being racist and if someone like me objects to it, well just roll your eyes and sneer at us chinky eyed, bad driving, buck-toothed, math loving nerds.
Historically, Asians have had a difficult time in this country. From the Chinese Exclusion Act to the Japanese internment camps. Let's not forget how Hawaii's rightful monarch was overthrown in order to be annexed by the US so that native Hawaiian's would be stripped of their property all for the benefit of the USA. But why is it that Asian's don't speak up? Many believe it is because our very culture teaches us to swallow bile and repress our anger. But no longer. We cannot be the silent minority any longer.
To all the Asians out there, stop swallowing the Chink jokes. Stop being quiet over the slanty-eyed comments, the bad driving and the Charlie Chan impersonations. There is enough outrage out there from all the communities to support our own. Racists are loud and ugly, but they are the minority now. And we need to teach them that this isn't funny. We need to teach them to stop passing on this demeaning hate to their children. We can't afford to be quiet anymore. Black, white, Asian, Latino, Jewish, Arab, Muslim, Hindi, whatever you are, the world is changing. The time is right to speak up. Join me, for I am shouting.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A Thousand Words
Stole this from Angry Asian Man whom I adore. Reminds me a lot of my own angry asian man at home...
Anyway, this is a great short movie by the extremely talented young director, Ted Chung. I hope you enjoy it.
A Thousand Words from Ted Chung on Vimeo.
Anyway, this is a great short movie by the extremely talented young director, Ted Chung. I hope you enjoy it.
A Thousand Words from Ted Chung on Vimeo.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Bundegi - A Yummy New Treat Sensation Or Not
In the brand new opening of my revised Seven Kingdoms manuscript, I open up with a scene about bundegi, a popular Korean treat. So I thought I would share with you a little bit about this tasty little snack.
Doesn't it just look appealing? How scrumptious! They look similar to the huge ass water bugs that crawl around the subway platforms in NYC and they smell like some kind of wonderful that you will never forget. Yes, this is all hearsay. I've never been to Seoul so I have no idea what this is like, but I have been told by many that they are an unforgettable smell. Like a mix between rotten garbage and pungent old dirty socks filled with really old gorgonzola cheese. But wait, you can't go by smell! After all, some of the creamiest and most delicious cheese in the world smells horrendously gag worthy.
So then what does it taste like? Well, apparently they are very juicy little critters that takes you by surprise when they squirt its creamy, salty, briny innard goodness in your mouth, leaving you with the unpleasant sensation of not knowing whether to spit or swallow. Hey, I think more men should try this snack! And apparently it tastes sort of like muddy kidney beans.
I'm sorry, but this is considered a popular treat in Korea? Perhaps this is one of those things that is an acquired taste. Unfortunately, I'm not sure why anyone would want to acquire this taste. But that might just be my American side talking here.
Apparently you can buy the stuff at all these little hot dog vendor like stands all over Seoul. Some old Korean lady with the short bad perm job that marks her status as an ajima (korean word for old married lady) boils them up in a big steaming vat and serves them in dixie cups with toothpicks. But for the toothpicks, it would be like popping brown popcorn, right?
So wrong! I was over at my friend's house when she pulled this out of her pantry.
CANNED BUNDEGI!!!!! Said she found it in a local Korean supermarket and had to try it because it reminded her of Seoul. She opens the can and there are like hundreds of these little suckers in this grayish brown dishwater like sauce and she asks me if I want to try one.
Hmmmm, let me think, HELL NO!!!!
But you should try it, for research purposes, she says.
You know, I love research, but to eat something that looks and smells like a turd is just never gonna happen, no matter how badly I need the research. So I pass, ever so reluctantly, and she sneers at me as she pops a couple in her mouth. I turn about as gray as the liquid in the can as she laughs at me.
I ask her - Is it supposed to smell like Ass?
She is disgusted with me.
But bundegi sort of sounds like koondengi which is Korean for Ass. I say.
And you call yourself a Korean? she asks.
Nope, I'll call myself Elmer J. Fudd or anything you want, just so I won't have to eat that thing.
This is Bundegi - boiled silkworm larvae
Doesn't it just look appealing? How scrumptious! They look similar to the huge ass water bugs that crawl around the subway platforms in NYC and they smell like some kind of wonderful that you will never forget. Yes, this is all hearsay. I've never been to Seoul so I have no idea what this is like, but I have been told by many that they are an unforgettable smell. Like a mix between rotten garbage and pungent old dirty socks filled with really old gorgonzola cheese. But wait, you can't go by smell! After all, some of the creamiest and most delicious cheese in the world smells horrendously gag worthy.
So then what does it taste like? Well, apparently they are very juicy little critters that takes you by surprise when they squirt its creamy, salty, briny innard goodness in your mouth, leaving you with the unpleasant sensation of not knowing whether to spit or swallow. Hey, I think more men should try this snack! And apparently it tastes sort of like muddy kidney beans.
I'm sorry, but this is considered a popular treat in Korea? Perhaps this is one of those things that is an acquired taste. Unfortunately, I'm not sure why anyone would want to acquire this taste. But that might just be my American side talking here.
Apparently you can buy the stuff at all these little hot dog vendor like stands all over Seoul. Some old Korean lady with the short bad perm job that marks her status as an ajima (korean word for old married lady) boils them up in a big steaming vat and serves them in dixie cups with toothpicks. But for the toothpicks, it would be like popping brown popcorn, right?
So wrong! I was over at my friend's house when she pulled this out of her pantry.
CANNED BUNDEGI!!!!! Said she found it in a local Korean supermarket and had to try it because it reminded her of Seoul. She opens the can and there are like hundreds of these little suckers in this grayish brown dishwater like sauce and she asks me if I want to try one.
Hmmmm, let me think, HELL NO!!!!
But you should try it, for research purposes, she says.
You know, I love research, but to eat something that looks and smells like a turd is just never gonna happen, no matter how badly I need the research. So I pass, ever so reluctantly, and she sneers at me as she pops a couple in her mouth. I turn about as gray as the liquid in the can as she laughs at me.
I ask her - Is it supposed to smell like Ass?
She is disgusted with me.
But bundegi sort of sounds like koondengi which is Korean for Ass. I say.
And you call yourself a Korean? she asks.
Nope, I'll call myself Elmer J. Fudd or anything you want, just so I won't have to eat that thing.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 25
The girls were playing "Restaurant" with their cousin. They printed up menus and set up tables and were pretend cooking up a storm. All of a sudden I hear Angus shout, "You guys President Obama is here with his family!!!"
"Quick set the nice plates out!" "And the pretty napkins!" "Get the diet coke!"
"Someone cook up the hot dogs!" I'm pretty sure that was Youngest.
"Hot dogs? We can't serve them hot dogs!" Angus yells. "We need to serve steak and potatoes!"
"Sorry! No steak, but we have curry rice, sushi and lamb kebobs! Would the president and his family like any of that?" Oldest asks. (Oldest is like me and loves food.)
"I'll take care of it," Angus says. A second later she says, "It's ok, I took care of it, President Obama and his family have left now."
"What happened?" Youngest asks.
"I gave him $20 and told him to come back when we has steak for him!" Angus answers.
"Oh, good job!" the others respond.
Yes, bribing the President with $20. Good job indeed.
"Quick set the nice plates out!" "And the pretty napkins!" "Get the diet coke!"
"Someone cook up the hot dogs!" I'm pretty sure that was Youngest.
"Hot dogs? We can't serve them hot dogs!" Angus yells. "We need to serve steak and potatoes!"
"Sorry! No steak, but we have curry rice, sushi and lamb kebobs! Would the president and his family like any of that?" Oldest asks. (Oldest is like me and loves food.)
"I'll take care of it," Angus says. A second later she says, "It's ok, I took care of it, President Obama and his family have left now."
"What happened?" Youngest asks.
"I gave him $20 and told him to come back when we has steak for him!" Angus answers.
"Oh, good job!" the others respond.
Yes, bribing the President with $20. Good job indeed.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 24
Angus - When I grow up, I'm going to live in a big house with lots and lots of rooms and 6 kittens and 10 puppies, and 2 parrots and a big fish tank, and with my sisters.
Da Man - What about Mom and Dad?
Angus - Well Mom can live with us cause she is only a little bit allergic to cat, but you are really really allergic to cats so you can't!
Da Man - Oh, so you would rather live with cats than with your Dad?
Angus - (thinking)
Da Ma - I can't believe you would choose cats!
Angus - Don't worry Daddy, I'll build a little house on the side of my big one just for you.
Da Man - Thanks a lot...
Da Man - What about Mom and Dad?
Angus - Well Mom can live with us cause she is only a little bit allergic to cat, but you are really really allergic to cats so you can't!
Da Man - Oh, so you would rather live with cats than with your Dad?
Angus - (thinking)
Da Ma - I can't believe you would choose cats!
Angus - Don't worry Daddy, I'll build a little house on the side of my big one just for you.
Da Man - Thanks a lot...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Slumdog Millionaire
To lighten things up, I am playing some clips from the Best Movie Oscar winning Slumdog Millionaire by the brilliant Danny Boyle. I loved Trainspotting, but with Slumdog I think Danny Boyle has certified his brilliance. This is one of my absolute favorite movies because it makes you cry and laugh, it breaks your heart and makes you shout with joy. If you haven't seen it, please catch it before it leaves the theaters. It is a marvelous experience. So here is the Oscar winning song that plays in the end credits with a Bollywood dance.
And here is my favorite scene:
It is written...
And here is my favorite scene:
It is written...
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Pulling the Slanted Eyes Face - Racist or Not?
So for those who don't know about it, here is the link. Notice the Asian guy not making a goofy face, which is how Cyrus has defended her actions. Just making goofy funny faces. Notice all the other non-Asian friends making slanty eyed or slitted eyed faces. Yes, they somehow all decided to make the same slit eyed goofy face for the camera.
Then read the comments. Some of them range from, agreeing it was racist to others saying she's just a kid who doesn't know any better. But here's the reality. If you aren't Asian don't(expletive deleted) tell me this isn't offensive. Don't (expletive deleted) tell me to lighten up and say the political police needs to back off and crap like that. Until you have taken a walk in my shoes and felt the ugliness of a group of kids slanting their eyes and calling you a "Chink" - spitting at you - throwing rocks and glass bottles at you - and telling you to go home to China where we all belong - don't you dare tell me this is harmless kid stuff. Kids can be vicious and brutal and have the capability to inflict incredible damage on others. We all know this to be true. So don't excuse her behavior. She's not 2, she's a teenager. She knows better. Now I wouldn't go so far as to sue her, even to me that seemed excessive. But anyone who would brush off her behavior by saying she's just a kid and we should just leave her alone, fails to see the problem of high profile public figures who by their actions may affect a whole new generation of children. One of the commenter's wanted to know why only Cyrus was forced to apologize why not the other kids. Well they should all apologize, but only Cyrus is the public figure. Only Cyrus is idolized by millions of young girls throughout the world. So only Cyrus really needs to come out with a real apology.
One commenter said what's the big deal, everyone has probably once in their life pulled the slanty eyed face so leave her alone. Why does this fact make it alright? Maybe this person is right. Maybe some non-Asians have pulled this face in private or public at least once in their lives and laughed about it. Maybe they really don't know that it is hurtful. Ok - so maybe it is time to educate them. As an Asian American, I can tell you that the slanty eyed thing is not only offensive it is extremely demoralizing and demeaning to us. It hurts.
A kid at school pulled this on Angus last year when she was 6. She didn't understand why he was doing this, but she knew it hurt her. She knew it was insulting to her. She came home depressed and a little bit shaken up. Her first experience with racial ugliness. I can't protect her from it. I can only teach her to speak up for herself. I have to teach her the right way to act. For me, I always reacted with my fists first. But for my kids, I am teaching them to verbalize and stand strong.
If we don't speak up, people won't know what hurts us. So a public outcry over Cyrus's actions is indeed a good thing, if only to tell the world that this type of behavior is absolutely wrong and will not be tolerated any longer.
Then read the comments. Some of them range from, agreeing it was racist to others saying she's just a kid who doesn't know any better. But here's the reality. If you aren't Asian don't(expletive deleted) tell me this isn't offensive. Don't (expletive deleted) tell me to lighten up and say the political police needs to back off and crap like that. Until you have taken a walk in my shoes and felt the ugliness of a group of kids slanting their eyes and calling you a "Chink" - spitting at you - throwing rocks and glass bottles at you - and telling you to go home to China where we all belong - don't you dare tell me this is harmless kid stuff. Kids can be vicious and brutal and have the capability to inflict incredible damage on others. We all know this to be true. So don't excuse her behavior. She's not 2, she's a teenager. She knows better. Now I wouldn't go so far as to sue her, even to me that seemed excessive. But anyone who would brush off her behavior by saying she's just a kid and we should just leave her alone, fails to see the problem of high profile public figures who by their actions may affect a whole new generation of children. One of the commenter's wanted to know why only Cyrus was forced to apologize why not the other kids. Well they should all apologize, but only Cyrus is the public figure. Only Cyrus is idolized by millions of young girls throughout the world. So only Cyrus really needs to come out with a real apology.
One commenter said what's the big deal, everyone has probably once in their life pulled the slanty eyed face so leave her alone. Why does this fact make it alright? Maybe this person is right. Maybe some non-Asians have pulled this face in private or public at least once in their lives and laughed about it. Maybe they really don't know that it is hurtful. Ok - so maybe it is time to educate them. As an Asian American, I can tell you that the slanty eyed thing is not only offensive it is extremely demoralizing and demeaning to us. It hurts.
A kid at school pulled this on Angus last year when she was 6. She didn't understand why he was doing this, but she knew it hurt her. She knew it was insulting to her. She came home depressed and a little bit shaken up. Her first experience with racial ugliness. I can't protect her from it. I can only teach her to speak up for herself. I have to teach her the right way to act. For me, I always reacted with my fists first. But for my kids, I am teaching them to verbalize and stand strong.
If we don't speak up, people won't know what hurts us. So a public outcry over Cyrus's actions is indeed a good thing, if only to tell the world that this type of behavior is absolutely wrong and will not be tolerated any longer.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The Great Call of China
There is a great new book that just got released called The Great Call of China by Cynthea Liu. I've ordered my copy and am happy to share with you a little movie that the wonderful author, Cynthea, produced for the book.
What I love about this movie is that it is so very meaningful to me and my children, growing up Asian American in the U.S. Sometimes identity can be all mixed up and culture lost. Like Cynthea in this video, I too had my cultural identity moment when I was a teenager. It happens to most of us growing up with immigrant parents. Trying too hard to assimilate and one day realizing that there was a whole other culture we should have been embracing. And here is also the heart of her book The Great Call of China which is a fabulous title. It is about an adopted teen who journeys to China and finds herself. So please enjoy the movie and don't forget to pick up a copy of Cynthea's book for the teen in your life!
What I love about this movie is that it is so very meaningful to me and my children, growing up Asian American in the U.S. Sometimes identity can be all mixed up and culture lost. Like Cynthea in this video, I too had my cultural identity moment when I was a teenager. It happens to most of us growing up with immigrant parents. Trying too hard to assimilate and one day realizing that there was a whole other culture we should have been embracing. And here is also the heart of her book The Great Call of China which is a fabulous title. It is about an adopted teen who journeys to China and finds herself. So please enjoy the movie and don't forget to pick up a copy of Cynthea's book for the teen in your life!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I So Don't Do Mysteries by Barrie Summy
Hi it is Oldest again! My Mom is going crazy trying to finish the latest revision of her book after getting lots of comments from her fabulous crit group. She's so focused on it that she hasn't been cooking a lot for us. Dad’s been complaining about how he is the Breakfast Chef not the Lunch and Dinner Chef, but he has at least been making us some good dinners. Otherwise Mom will just order pizza or Chinese food and a kid can get real tired of it real fast! Mom, has turned into a computer zombie. All she does is type, rub her eyes, moan and yell. (She says to put in that she doesn't yell a lot - but she does.) Angus wanted to know what happens to writers who don’t have anyone to cook for them. Dad said that’s partly why they are called starving artists. Lucky for Mom that she has us. We even bring her diet cokes to keep her going. Although when Angus or Youngest does it, they take sips and get yelled at. That’s why now she won’t take it from us unless the can is still unopened. But then Angus dropped one and didn’t tell her and got in trouble, again.
Anyway, Mom said I could do a book review and interview for her blog and since she was so lucky to get a copy of Barrie Summy’s I So Don’t Do Mysteries, that’s the book I decided to do. I really, really, really LOVED this book! It was AWSOME! I couldn't go to sleep without reading it! (It only took me 3 nights which is a record for me cause it’s like 300 pages and I get yelled at if I stay up too late!) It’s about a girl named Sherry who has to accomplish stuff that no other 6 grader would have to. She has to solve a mystery about rhinos with her cop mom, except her mom is a ghost! My favorite part was when Sherry slammed open the door and squished Josh's nose. It was so funny. I also liked when in the morning Sherry put on sassy girl shampoo to wash her hair and when she fell into the rhino area at the zoo the baby rhino ran towards her attracted to the shampoo. This book is really really funny! I was giggling so hard reading it.
So I was so psyched when my Mom said I could interview Ms. Summy. I had to come up with some good questions for our interview. Besides, she is way cool! She sent all of us tattoos and book marks! Me and Angus put on our book tattoos and wore them to school! They lasted for several days since I refused to wash them off. Mom wasn’t too happy about that, but at least I didn’t put it on my face!
Oldest: Hi Ms. Summy! Thank you for letting me interview you!
Ms. Summy: Thank you for your wonderful e-mail. It's really interesting to hear which parts of the books you enjoyed most. Thank you so much for sharing. What great questions you came up with!!
Oldest: So how did you come up with the characters?
Ms. Summy: Originally, I wrote this book as a Nancy Drew mystery. It was called The Mystery at the
Oldest: When did you start writing your book? Why did you make the mystery about rhinos?
Ms. Summy: I started writing the book after one of my kids did a third-grade project on rhinos. He read me all kinds of little rhinos facts from library books. I thought one fact in particular would make a great clue in a mystery.
Oldest: Which fact?
Ms. Summy: Rhinos have a keen sense of smell.
Oldest: How long did it take you to write your book?
Ms. Summy: About seven YEARS for I So Don't Do Mysteries. About seven MONTHS for I So Don't Do Spooky. Do I think I'll be able to write the current mystery in seven WEEKS? Uh, NO!!!
Oldest: Do you believe in ghosts?
Angus chiming in during the reading of this interview: Goats? Goats! How can she not believe in goats! Who doesn’t believe in goats! That’s just silly!
Oldest wisely ignoring Angus: Well I don’t believe in ghosts but I believe in spirits.
Mom interrupts to ask what’s the difference between ghosts and spirits.
Angus butts in again: You don’t know the difference between goats and spirits? Woman, you call yourself our mother? Goats are furry and stinky and spirits are scary but can be stinky too.
Oldest: Now that Angus is grounded for calling Mom a woman, I can continue this interview.
Oldest: If you were Sherry would you say yes right away to do the mystery?
Ms. Summy: No, probably not. I'm not very brave. In fact, I'm not brave at all.
Oldest: What's the strangest thing that has ever happened to you?
Ms. Summy: I don't know if this is the strangest thing that ever happened to me, but it is strange and it's sort of connected to I So Don't Do Mysteries. I spent the night at the
Oldest: What are your favorite books that you would recommend to me to read?
Ms. Summy: Here are some books that I've recently read and loved:
Schooled by Gordon Korman
The
Al Capone Does My Shirts by Gennifer Choldenko
The Unnameables by Ellen Booraem
Oldest: What are you writing next?
Ms. Summy: I So Don't Do Makeup. Things are getting busy here as Random House has moved up the deadline date for the third mystery.
Oldest: That is so cool that I get to read two more books about Sherry! I So Can’t Wait!!!
Ms. Summy: Oldest, thank you so much for reading I So Don't Do Mysteries and saying such nice things about it. And thank you for this interview with its very interesting questions!
Oldest: You’re very welcome! I am recommending it to all my friends and you are now on my list of authors I absolutely must read!
So to everyone who has read this interview, this is a great book so please run out and buy it! I So Do Recommend It!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Random Funny Things Other People's Children Say
I am at a large department store near their children's shoe section, which is also where the ladies room is located. As I pass by I notice a young child, no more than 3 years of age, pull down his pants, sit on the carpet and begin to scoot his bum all over the floor.
"JOHN!" his mother screams. "What are you doing?"
"My bum bum itches!" he shouts back.
"You're acting like a dog! Stop that immediately!!!" his mortified mother says as she picks him up off the floor and pulls up his pants.
"It's all your fault!" he insists as he resists pulling his pants back on. "You didn't wipe me so good!"
Poor kid - not only will he have a painful rash, but some nasty rug burn too. Must remind myself not to go shoe shopping there ever again. Or at least until they steam vac.
"JOHN!" his mother screams. "What are you doing?"
"My bum bum itches!" he shouts back.
"You're acting like a dog! Stop that immediately!!!" his mortified mother says as she picks him up off the floor and pulls up his pants.
"It's all your fault!" he insists as he resists pulling his pants back on. "You didn't wipe me so good!"
Poor kid - not only will he have a painful rash, but some nasty rug burn too. Must remind myself not to go shoe shopping there ever again. Or at least until they steam vac.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Red Bean Desserts
I should have really posted this up during Chinese New Year but I was a bit busy and so here it is a little late.
One of my favorite desserts is a must eat on the first day of the lunar new year. And for Koreans, it is pat chuk. A sweet, delicious red bean soup with soft white rice dumplings. My Mom made some when she was here and I swear I ate the whole pot myself, begrudgingly sharing it with my Dad, sister and Da Man. My kids all took one dutiful bite for luck and ran away. The thing about Asian desserts in general are that they are not overly sweet. So if you are used to eating donuts and cake, Asian desserts are quite understated. But I love them.
So my folks went home and I started missing pat chuk and wishing my Mom would come back and make it for me cause I'm too lazy to make it myself. However, I went to my favorite little Japanese cafe and noticed that they had something called creamy zenzai. The Japanese version of Korean Patchuk.
Copyright by perago 89 via Creative Commons License
It's a warm sweet red bean soup with mochi balls and some vanilla ice cream and I gotta admit, it was pretty good! It wasn't the same as my Mom's which I adore, but for a quick fix, it worked wonderfully. But today the weather was over 50 and the rest of the week is reportedly going to be in the 60s. Which makes me so happy! And with the warm weather, thoughts of my all time favorite Korean dessert patbingsoo crowd my head. Take a look:
Copyright mikeswe via Creative Commons License
Looks weird huh? You must be wondering what it is. It is the sweet red bean sauce over shaved ice, condensed milk, rice cakes and fruit. Sometimes there is some ice cream on top. I prefer it without. I love the way the red bean sauce and the ice and sweet condensed milk all mix together into this soupy goodness. And I can get it over at my favorite little Korean cafe nearby. I think I'm going to go have some tomorrow.
One of my favorite desserts is a must eat on the first day of the lunar new year. And for Koreans, it is pat chuk. A sweet, delicious red bean soup with soft white rice dumplings. My Mom made some when she was here and I swear I ate the whole pot myself, begrudgingly sharing it with my Dad, sister and Da Man. My kids all took one dutiful bite for luck and ran away. The thing about Asian desserts in general are that they are not overly sweet. So if you are used to eating donuts and cake, Asian desserts are quite understated. But I love them.
So my folks went home and I started missing pat chuk and wishing my Mom would come back and make it for me cause I'm too lazy to make it myself. However, I went to my favorite little Japanese cafe and noticed that they had something called creamy zenzai. The Japanese version of Korean Patchuk.
Copyright by perago 89 via Creative Commons LicenseIt's a warm sweet red bean soup with mochi balls and some vanilla ice cream and I gotta admit, it was pretty good! It wasn't the same as my Mom's which I adore, but for a quick fix, it worked wonderfully. But today the weather was over 50 and the rest of the week is reportedly going to be in the 60s. Which makes me so happy! And with the warm weather, thoughts of my all time favorite Korean dessert patbingsoo crowd my head. Take a look:
Copyright mikeswe via Creative Commons LicenseLooks weird huh? You must be wondering what it is. It is the sweet red bean sauce over shaved ice, condensed milk, rice cakes and fruit. Sometimes there is some ice cream on top. I prefer it without. I love the way the red bean sauce and the ice and sweet condensed milk all mix together into this soupy goodness. And I can get it over at my favorite little Korean cafe nearby. I think I'm going to go have some tomorrow.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
If I begin to rant and rave like a madman, please excuse me for I happen to be very, very upset for having read this book right now. Let me explain. I bought The Hunger Games a while back and put it on my TBR pile (which is admittedly huge). Having finished second round revisions yesterday, I decided to treat myself and read a little before going to bed at 12:30. First mistake. I am a fast reader but it wasn't til 4AM that I finished the book. There were sections that were so intense I had to reread it right then and there. Second mistake, I drank a huge glass of water before starting. Even though I had to pee really badly, I could not put the freaking book down and go to the bathroom. I can't believe I risked a bladder infection for this book. But then again, I can't believe how awesome this book is.
For those of you who may not know about this book, I'll give you a short synopsis. Ms. Collins has created a dystopian Utopia where twenty-four teenage contestants representing their districts are forced to compete in the ultimate Survivor show. You must kill the other contestants to win. The rules? There seems to be only one rule - make it entertaining. It reminds me of that great scene in The Gladiator where Russell Crowe comes out and kills ten men in a matter of seconds and the crowd is stunned silent. He turns to them and shouts "Are you not entertained?!" Oh yeah! The producers of the show don't like it when contestants aren't killed daily so they do dangerous things to add to the suspense and keep their audience entertained. The hero of the book is Katniss, a poor girl with mad hunting skills, from the poorest district, whose little twelve year old sister's name is pulled from the lottery. Katniss knows her sister cannot survive and volunteers to go in her stead. And from that moment on, the book takes you on a roller coaster ride that you physically can't get off until it rolls to a satisfying end. Except it isn't satisfying to see that there are more books to read but they are not yet published.
In my overanxious, agonized, tortured state, I have found the following information on the sequel:
Catching Fire Release Date: September 8th, 2009
Look at this awesome cover!
Look at this awesome cover!
In a PW article dated January 22, 2009, "David Levithan, Executive Editorial Director at Scholastic, mentions that the MS for Book 2 is available in-house on a "need to read" basis only." Mr. Levithan, does cruel and unusual punishment constitute "need to read," especially if I fear for my sanity? Do you need your car washed? Shoes polished? Floors mopped? Alright, I knew it was a long shot!!
But apparently Scholastic is giving ARCs away at BEA in New York City this May. Alright people, what do I have to do to get an ARC? All I want for my birthday is this ARC!!! Is any authors out there going to BEA this year? I will be your online slave for a week! I will come to your house and cook the four dishes I know how to cook well for a week! I will babysit your kids, I will cut your toenails, I will clean your car, I will write epic odes of your greatness daily! Oh what I wouldn't do!!!
Any Scholastic people out there? You wonderful book publishing geniuses you! Did I tell you all how beautiful you are? How smart and wonderful and talented... Please please please send me an ARC and put me out of my misery... at least for a short time at which point I shall recommence begging for books 3 and 4 which I understand are slated for 2010 publication. Yes, yes I'm begging, because I believe beggars can be winners too! So take pity on me!
Oh yes, I'm addicted. Like a crazy fevered junkie I'm addicted. And until I can get my hot, grasping hands on an ARC of Catching Fire, I will have to reread The Hunger Games several more times. Cause it is that good.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
How to be a Dumbass
It snowed this morning. Usually that means school is canceled because if just one big fat snowflake falls anywhere near a school, my jumpy county cancels everything. It makes life very difficult at times. But today, I was proud to see that school was still open, even though it was snowing.
So I dropped Youngest off at preschool and as I walked out, I noticed the woman before me was dressed very Sex in the City-ish. She had on a minky looking hat over her long blonde hair, a nice, very form fitting tweed winter coat over knee high length black leather 4 inch high stiletto boots. Oh and she was carrying a toddler in front of her in such a way that I'm sure she couldn't see where she was going. And it was snowing.
I predicted it before it even happened. I think a 2 year old could have predicted what was going to happen. Even the toddler she was carrying like a sack of potatoes before her face probably knew it was going to happen. Cause, like I said before, it was snowing. You couldn't have planted a banana peel at a nerd convention to better use. It was classic sitcom material. The beautiful blonde mother talking baby talk to a cranky whiny toddler steps on a patch of ice and falls splat on her back.
After ascertaining that nothing was broken and that the child was not hurt, just angry and frightened. Several of us passerbyers tried to help her up. Except she had broken one of her 4 inch stiletto heels. These heels were designed to break on impact as they resembled chopsticks more than heels. Because the stiletto was so high, she physically could not stand unaided.
And the kid began screaming "Uppie! Mommy Uppie!!!!!!!"
And then she started screaming "My clothes! My boots! They are all ruined!"
And then she put one muddy wet glove to her hair and left a big muddy slick on her no longer perfectly flowing hair.
And then she started to limp, but it wasn't really a limp, more like a lurch, a big old hobbly Igoresque lurch, cause one leg was now 4 inches shorter than the other, and then she slipped again, and me and another man grabbed her flailing arms while a friend of hers came running out calling her name "Stella are you alright?" (Stella is not her name. I could not hear what her real name was because I was trying not to lose it.) The friend then picks up the whiny kid who then smacked her in the face and said "No! Want Mommy!"
And then I started making soft little piggy noises as I tried not to shriek in laughter. I even tried ventroliquism and tried to throw my snorting snuffling sounds at the other man helping her, but he was biting his lips so hard they had disappeared. FYI ventroliquism does not work. Apparently you can't actually throw your voice somewhere else. All you can do is pretend the sounds are not coming out of you. My eyes starting tearing from the effort of not laughing and I make this kind of weird sound in the back of my throat that sounded like a drowning hyena. We finally get Stella to her car and she is so upset she forgets to thank us or maybe she knows we were laughing at her. I don't know. I don't care. The man who helped her is staring after her with a big old grin on his face as the friend who sees her off says, "I guess she was rushing and slipped!"
Uh, no. Here's my analysis. I don't think it was the rushing as it was more being a dumbass. You see, wearing stilettos doesn't itself make you a dumbass. Carrying a toddler doesn't make you a dumbass. But wearing stilettos while carrying a toddler and not looking where you are going in the snow makes you a dumbass. And if she was rushing, then she was a rushing dumbass.
So thank you Stella Dumbass for my laugh of the day. Truly your fall and the loss of your stiletto heel was a thing of beauty that I will always treasure in my memory.
So I dropped Youngest off at preschool and as I walked out, I noticed the woman before me was dressed very Sex in the City-ish. She had on a minky looking hat over her long blonde hair, a nice, very form fitting tweed winter coat over knee high length black leather 4 inch high stiletto boots. Oh and she was carrying a toddler in front of her in such a way that I'm sure she couldn't see where she was going. And it was snowing.
I predicted it before it even happened. I think a 2 year old could have predicted what was going to happen. Even the toddler she was carrying like a sack of potatoes before her face probably knew it was going to happen. Cause, like I said before, it was snowing. You couldn't have planted a banana peel at a nerd convention to better use. It was classic sitcom material. The beautiful blonde mother talking baby talk to a cranky whiny toddler steps on a patch of ice and falls splat on her back.
After ascertaining that nothing was broken and that the child was not hurt, just angry and frightened. Several of us passerbyers tried to help her up. Except she had broken one of her 4 inch stiletto heels. These heels were designed to break on impact as they resembled chopsticks more than heels. Because the stiletto was so high, she physically could not stand unaided.
And the kid began screaming "Uppie! Mommy Uppie!!!!!!!"
And then she started screaming "My clothes! My boots! They are all ruined!"
And then she put one muddy wet glove to her hair and left a big muddy slick on her no longer perfectly flowing hair.
And then she started to limp, but it wasn't really a limp, more like a lurch, a big old hobbly Igoresque lurch, cause one leg was now 4 inches shorter than the other, and then she slipped again, and me and another man grabbed her flailing arms while a friend of hers came running out calling her name "Stella are you alright?" (Stella is not her name. I could not hear what her real name was because I was trying not to lose it.) The friend then picks up the whiny kid who then smacked her in the face and said "No! Want Mommy!"
And then I started making soft little piggy noises as I tried not to shriek in laughter. I even tried ventroliquism and tried to throw my snorting snuffling sounds at the other man helping her, but he was biting his lips so hard they had disappeared. FYI ventroliquism does not work. Apparently you can't actually throw your voice somewhere else. All you can do is pretend the sounds are not coming out of you. My eyes starting tearing from the effort of not laughing and I make this kind of weird sound in the back of my throat that sounded like a drowning hyena. We finally get Stella to her car and she is so upset she forgets to thank us or maybe she knows we were laughing at her. I don't know. I don't care. The man who helped her is staring after her with a big old grin on his face as the friend who sees her off says, "I guess she was rushing and slipped!"
Uh, no. Here's my analysis. I don't think it was the rushing as it was more being a dumbass. You see, wearing stilettos doesn't itself make you a dumbass. Carrying a toddler doesn't make you a dumbass. But wearing stilettos while carrying a toddler and not looking where you are going in the snow makes you a dumbass. And if she was rushing, then she was a rushing dumbass.
So thank you Stella Dumbass for my laugh of the day. Truly your fall and the loss of your stiletto heel was a thing of beauty that I will always treasure in my memory.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 23
We were at Nordstrom's buying shoes for all three girls when Angus jumps up and begins to run round and round the entire shoe section in large circles.
"What are you doing?" Oldest asks.
Angus comes back and sits next to her.
"I'm spreading my stinkiness all around," she says. "That way the stinky doesn't stay in only one spot and no one will know it was me! Ooops! Gotta run again!"
Oldest shakes her head. "She's crazy! You should stop her before she gets us kicked out," she says to me.
"No, don't stop her!" Youngest says. "Otherwise she'll be stinky next to us."
Youngest is always right.
"What are you doing?" Oldest asks.
Angus comes back and sits next to her.
"I'm spreading my stinkiness all around," she says. "That way the stinky doesn't stay in only one spot and no one will know it was me! Ooops! Gotta run again!"
Oldest shakes her head. "She's crazy! You should stop her before she gets us kicked out," she says to me.
"No, don't stop her!" Youngest says. "Otherwise she'll be stinky next to us."
Youngest is always right.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 22
Youngest and I were at Target when we ran into one of the girls old dance instructors, we shall call her Ms. Pam. She is an older lady with a killer figure even though she is well into her 60s. My pudgy self usually feels woefully inadequate next to her. Usually.
So we haven’t seen Ms. Pam in ages and she’s looking a bit changed. As we are exchanging pleasantries, Ms. Pam leans over to greet Youngest.
Youngest blinks and says “What’s the matter with your face?”
I nudge her, “Don’t be rude, Ms. Pam looks lovely!”
Youngest has scooted behind me and is pulling at me to lean down. She then says in a loud whisper, “Something is wrong with her mouth!”
Ms. Pam cuts in, “Oh no dear, it’s just this botox! I just had it done yesterday and it hasn’t settled yet. The little ones always notice first!”
She leans down towards Youngest “It’s just some medicine in my face that’s supposed to make me look younger, sweetie!” She laughs gaily, even as her death mask continues to grimace.
Youngest scoots further behind me and whispers loudly, “She’s laughing but not smiling!”
If I could slap my hand over her mouth I would, but must settle with telling her very firmly that she is being rude.
“Don't worry about it! I’m used to it, dear!” Ms. Pam says as she trills out her bye-byes and leaves us. I'm wondering how you can get used to little children hiding from you in fear.
I turn to Youngest and begin to admonish her for her rude behavior but she is not really paying attention to me, she is still peering around me after Ms. Pam. Suddenly she turns to me and says real seriously, “Mommy that medicine is supposed to make you look younger but instead it makes you look deader. Please don’t ever do that to yourself ok?”
I understand and I promise her that she has nothing to worry about. “Don’t worry baby, when I get old, I’ll just look old, not scary, ok?”
She nods and smiles relieved and says, "Don't forget to dye your hair, Mommy, your gray hair is showing!"
Oh the irony!
So we haven’t seen Ms. Pam in ages and she’s looking a bit changed. As we are exchanging pleasantries, Ms. Pam leans over to greet Youngest.
Youngest blinks and says “What’s the matter with your face?”
I nudge her, “Don’t be rude, Ms. Pam looks lovely!”
Youngest has scooted behind me and is pulling at me to lean down. She then says in a loud whisper, “Something is wrong with her mouth!”
Ms. Pam cuts in, “Oh no dear, it’s just this botox! I just had it done yesterday and it hasn’t settled yet. The little ones always notice first!”
She leans down towards Youngest “It’s just some medicine in my face that’s supposed to make me look younger, sweetie!” She laughs gaily, even as her death mask continues to grimace.
Youngest scoots further behind me and whispers loudly, “She’s laughing but not smiling!”
If I could slap my hand over her mouth I would, but must settle with telling her very firmly that she is being rude.
“Don't worry about it! I’m used to it, dear!” Ms. Pam says as she trills out her bye-byes and leaves us. I'm wondering how you can get used to little children hiding from you in fear.
I turn to Youngest and begin to admonish her for her rude behavior but she is not really paying attention to me, she is still peering around me after Ms. Pam. Suddenly she turns to me and says real seriously, “Mommy that medicine is supposed to make you look younger but instead it makes you look deader. Please don’t ever do that to yourself ok?”
I understand and I promise her that she has nothing to worry about. “Don’t worry baby, when I get old, I’ll just look old, not scary, ok?”
She nods and smiles relieved and says, "Don't forget to dye your hair, Mommy, your gray hair is showing!"
Oh the irony!
Friday, January 23, 2009
When life kicks you in the butt...
Sometimes you just have to drop to the ground, curl up into a little ball, suck your thumb and moan piteously.
That's me. I'm overwhelmed in a tidal wave of work and I can't swim! First week of class and still revising is not a good combination - plus I am involved heavily in a project that I am so excited about but which is also taking every other minute of my time. So something is suffering, besides my health - and it is this blog and visiting all my favorite blog places. I am sorry and miss you all! But I hope to recover from my ass whooping real soon. In the meantime, may I leave you with an interesting video clip?
I stole this from Angry Asian Man's blog. It is comedian Danny Cho's impersonation of North Korea's infamous Kim Jong Il. He has the Ploo...
That's me. I'm overwhelmed in a tidal wave of work and I can't swim! First week of class and still revising is not a good combination - plus I am involved heavily in a project that I am so excited about but which is also taking every other minute of my time. So something is suffering, besides my health - and it is this blog and visiting all my favorite blog places. I am sorry and miss you all! But I hope to recover from my ass whooping real soon. In the meantime, may I leave you with an interesting video clip?
I stole this from Angry Asian Man's blog. It is comedian Danny Cho's impersonation of North Korea's infamous Kim Jong Il. He has the Ploo...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Interview with Angus
Angus interview - take 1
Angus - Hi this is Angus. Except since some of you think I'm a boy, maybe you should call me Angus Star!
Oldest - That's because Angus is a boy's name!
Angus - Be quiet! This is my interview.
Youngest - How come she gets an interview and not us?
Angus - Because I'm the funny one, now pipe down pipsqueak!
Youngest - Mommy she called me a pipsqueak...
Angus interview - take 2
Oldest and Youngest are now on the computer playing a game.
Angus - I want to play too!
Me - After the interview...
Angus - I want to watch. (starts walking away)
Me - come back! You can play it when they're done. Let's get this over with...
Angus - I have to go the bathroom...
Angus interview - take 3
Me - People want to know what you eat
Angus - People want to know what I eat? All the people in the world? Really? Just me? I'm so important. Well I love noodles, lots and lots of noodles. I love Mommy's homemade steak cause it's really juicy and delicious. You know once I wrote about steak at school.
Me - What did you write?
Angus - Ummm, I forget, but it was something to do with how much I love steak and maybe I might have been a little complaining that you don't make it often enough. Also I love fruit a lot. I eat fruit all the time. Sometimes I eat too much fruit and it gives me a tummy ache.
Me - That's cause eating a lot of fruit makes you gassy.
Angus - (falls off the sofa and rolls around on the ground cracking up at the word gassy)
Me - Calm down and tell my readers something about yourself.
Angus - Like what?
Me - Anything, whatever you want.
Angus - Well..... I hate my boring fish! They are so boring! Well the snail is kind of cool and disgusting. But mostly they are boring. They don't do anything just poop and eat and swim around. Dogs are so much more interesting. They are so cute and cuddly! I want a dog. I want a dog so badly. I would do anything for a dog.
Me - (clearing my throat loudly)
Angus - Anyway, other things about me. Oh I know! After I eat a lot, I like to look at my belly and see it getting bigger and smaller. After I poo too. (devilish grin) You know what's weird about me? You know like if we are watching TV like Spongebob or something like that. Well I can smell them. It's hard to explain but I have a super sensitive nose so I know how TV characters smell like even though they are on TV.
Me - How do you do this?
Angus - It's a superpower! But it is really hard to explain but I can look at the character and I sniff and I can smell what they smell like. Like Patrick Star smells real weird. But I kind of like it. You wouldn't like it, Mommy.
Me - Why? What does it smell like?
Angus - Kind of like Doritos and a little gassy.
Me - YOU LIKE THAT SMELL??!!!
Angus - Sort of! Makes me hungry.
Me - What about Spongebob, what did he smell like?
Angus - I don't remember. I mostly remember what Patrick smells like. And Mr. Crabbs smells like money. And Kitara from Avatar smells great, like construction paper. But you have to admit, this is a cool superpower right?
Me - Ah, hmmmmmmmmmm. Errrr yeah. Ok so what do you want to say to my blog readers to wrap this up.
Angus - Roses are red, violets are blue. You smell really bad, but I still love you.
Me - Thanks a lot!
Angus - Your welcome. Don't forget to ask them if they like my poem. And if they don't, who cares, I don't like it either! (she laughs and runs off)
(I wish I had thought to tape this interview so you could hear her randomness in person. She is sooooooo funny and while this interview captures the essence of her, you can't hear her husky laugh or funny mannerisms. Next time, I'll have to tape her and do a podcast for you all.)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Ip Man
The one movie I am really dying to see and it may not be released here. The martial arts biopic Ip Man - premiered in Hong Kong theaters last month but still no word of a US release date. It will probably only get released in DVD format here, which bums me out. But here is the trailer.
Ip Man is about the life story of Ip Man, the grandmaster of the Wing Chun style of kung fu and master of legendary kung fu superstar Bruce Lee. The film focuses on Ip's life during the 1930s to the 1940s during Second Sino-Japanese War. Ip shoots to fame when he defeats kung fu masters from the north in a nationwide wushu championship. Hundreds wanted to learn kung fu from him. When the Japanese occupies Foshan during the Sino-Japan war, Ip is forced to work as a coolie in a factory. He is also invited to fight in sparring matches for the enemy’s amusement. For example, one part of the movie shows a former Wushu Grandmaster forced to spar with the Japanese for a bag of rice. He is badly outnumbered and killed. In a similar match Ip shows his masterly skills, defeating his opponents despite being badly outnumbered. The movie looks like it is set up to show how kung fu helped lead Chinese resistance to the Japanese occupiers.
But I don't care about that, the reason I want to see this movie - besides the fact that the trailer looks awesome - is because, to quote my furry panda fan from Kung Fu panda "I love Kung Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!" Yeah, I do love my martial arts films.
Ip Man is about the life story of Ip Man, the grandmaster of the Wing Chun style of kung fu and master of legendary kung fu superstar Bruce Lee. The film focuses on Ip's life during the 1930s to the 1940s during Second Sino-Japanese War. Ip shoots to fame when he defeats kung fu masters from the north in a nationwide wushu championship. Hundreds wanted to learn kung fu from him. When the Japanese occupies Foshan during the Sino-Japan war, Ip is forced to work as a coolie in a factory. He is also invited to fight in sparring matches for the enemy’s amusement. For example, one part of the movie shows a former Wushu Grandmaster forced to spar with the Japanese for a bag of rice. He is badly outnumbered and killed. In a similar match Ip shows his masterly skills, defeating his opponents despite being badly outnumbered. The movie looks like it is set up to show how kung fu helped lead Chinese resistance to the Japanese occupiers.
But I don't care about that, the reason I want to see this movie - besides the fact that the trailer looks awesome - is because, to quote my furry panda fan from Kung Fu panda "I love Kung Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!" Yeah, I do love my martial arts films.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Art of Taekkyon
First off, I snuck in a little time to write up a quick entry into Jason's awesome Clarity of Night competition. Mine is number 59. I shouldn't have because I am so behind on my revisions, but perhaps because I've been struggling, it was good to write something else for a change. So if you have a moment, please click over and let me know what you think!
On a different note, I want to introduce you all to something that most of you probably have never heard of. Taekkyon is an ancient martial art of Korea which is considered by many to be the predecessor of the modern Tae Kwon Do martial art. The history of Taekkyon is fascinating. It nearly died completely out during the Japanese occupation of Korea. The story goes that a crazed sword wielding Japanese soldier was killed by an unarmed Korean man using only taekkyon. The Japanese immediately outlawed the practice, stating that it was too deadly, and killing anyone associated with or continuing the teaching of taekkyon. After many years, the art was nearly forgotten until not that long ago, when an 80 year old man was seen practicing the movements and an ancient art was reborn.
Taekkyon is a major part of my Seven Kingdoms novel and now that my novel has a female protagonist, I get to show you what I envision she would look like. Here is a famous Korean taekkyon martial artist showing you the both the power and the beauty of this ancient art.
On a different note, I want to introduce you all to something that most of you probably have never heard of. Taekkyon is an ancient martial art of Korea which is considered by many to be the predecessor of the modern Tae Kwon Do martial art. The history of Taekkyon is fascinating. It nearly died completely out during the Japanese occupation of Korea. The story goes that a crazed sword wielding Japanese soldier was killed by an unarmed Korean man using only taekkyon. The Japanese immediately outlawed the practice, stating that it was too deadly, and killing anyone associated with or continuing the teaching of taekkyon. After many years, the art was nearly forgotten until not that long ago, when an 80 year old man was seen practicing the movements and an ancient art was reborn.
Taekkyon is a major part of my Seven Kingdoms novel and now that my novel has a female protagonist, I get to show you what I envision she would look like. Here is a famous Korean taekkyon martial artist showing you the both the power and the beauty of this ancient art.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 21
Being lazy and cheap this year (I forgot to do my annual Christmas cards but refuse to feel guilty about it), I waited til the new year to buy my 2009 wall calendar. After all who wants to pay full price? The answer to that is anyone who would like to have a choice as to what pictures your calendar will contain. The choices left for me were stupendously bad. Lots of overexposed fake tatas, Hannah Montanas, bad tv shows I've never heard of, and a calendar titled "Crack" which is apparently the official butt crack calendar. Having no desire to stare at ass all year long, I found one slightly bent calendar hidden behind the Cracks that was called Poopy Puppies. And no, it is not a calendar of pooping puppies, that would have been nasty. It is a calendar of cute little dozing puppies with an unfortunate choice of title.
So I put up the calendar and January has an adorable little puppy sleeping on its back with its tummy all exposed. Da Man takes one look at it and says, "You know what's going to happen as soon as the girls see it." I ignore him.
That day we had friends over for lunch. They have a boy and a girl who is about Oldest and Angus's ages. (Note for new readers - Angus is the nickname my middle daughter gave to herself. Sorry to confuse anyone who thought Angus was a boy!) Angus and the boy, who is a year younger, are good friends, real troublemakers. I'm in the kitchen prepping and I hear Angus and the boy giggling behind me. They are standing in front of the calendar. Angus points right at a certain point in the picture and says, "what do you think that is?"
"It's just a bump," the boy says.
"No it's a pee pee!"
"That doesn't look like a pee pee!"
"Yes it does!" Angus insists.
"How do you know, you don't have one!" The boy says.
"But I've seen it. I just saw yours today!" Angus admits.
"When?"
"You always leave the door open when you pee!"
"You shouldn't look!"
"You shouldn't leave the door open!"
"I can't help it. I'm scared when the door is closed.
"Well I can't help myself either. I'm just too curious!"
I think Da Man is going to have to have a little talk with Angus about her curiosity.
Updates of what is happening around the blogosphere!
Aerin at In Search of Giants is hosting a writer’s challenge to foster inspiration and community. It's pretty low-pressure: 1000 words a month. At the end of the year, you'll have a total of 12,000 words, which is not even half a NaNo entry. Go here to sign up!
BONUS: If you sign up for this challenge by January 14, your entry to the Ascension Clarity of Night contest counts as all 1000 of your words for January!
And:
Please drop by the Book Roast for the hippest publishing party in town! One hot publisher, two terrific agents, and six fabulous authors will be kicking off the launch party!!
The Book Roast serves up a variety of authors and books, lightly grilled and seasoned with humor. The Book Roast site is a free promotional tool for authors dedicated to celebrating great books! Its mission is to help publicize books of all genres, printed by publishers of all sizes.
The launch line-up is:
Monday, Jan 12: Mystery Publisher
Tuesday, Jan 13: Eric Stone
Wednesday, Jan 14: Agent Lucienne Diver
Thursday, Jan 15: Barrie Summy
Saturday, Jan 17: Elysabeth Eldering
Monday, Jan 19: Mystery Publisher
Tuesday, Jan 20: Traci E Hall
Wednesday, Jan 21: Maggie Stiefvater
Thursday, Jan 22: Agent Nathan Bransford
Friday, Jan 23: Jennifer Macaire
We hope to see you there!!
So I put up the calendar and January has an adorable little puppy sleeping on its back with its tummy all exposed. Da Man takes one look at it and says, "You know what's going to happen as soon as the girls see it." I ignore him.
That day we had friends over for lunch. They have a boy and a girl who is about Oldest and Angus's ages. (Note for new readers - Angus is the nickname my middle daughter gave to herself. Sorry to confuse anyone who thought Angus was a boy!) Angus and the boy, who is a year younger, are good friends, real troublemakers. I'm in the kitchen prepping and I hear Angus and the boy giggling behind me. They are standing in front of the calendar. Angus points right at a certain point in the picture and says, "what do you think that is?"
"It's just a bump," the boy says.
"No it's a pee pee!"
"That doesn't look like a pee pee!"
"Yes it does!" Angus insists.
"How do you know, you don't have one!" The boy says.
"But I've seen it. I just saw yours today!" Angus admits.
"When?"
"You always leave the door open when you pee!"
"You shouldn't look!"
"You shouldn't leave the door open!"
"I can't help it. I'm scared when the door is closed.
"Well I can't help myself either. I'm just too curious!"
I think Da Man is going to have to have a little talk with Angus about her curiosity.
Updates of what is happening around the blogosphere!
Aerin at In Search of Giants is hosting a writer’s challenge to foster inspiration and community. It's pretty low-pressure: 1000 words a month. At the end of the year, you'll have a total of 12,000 words, which is not even half a NaNo entry. Go here to sign up!BONUS: If you sign up for this challenge by January 14, your entry to the Ascension Clarity of Night contest counts as all 1000 of your words for January!
And:
Please drop by the Book Roast for the hippest publishing party in town! One hot publisher, two terrific agents, and six fabulous authors will be kicking off the launch party!!
The Book Roast serves up a variety of authors and books, lightly grilled and seasoned with humor. The Book Roast site is a free promotional tool for authors dedicated to celebrating great books! Its mission is to help publicize books of all genres, printed by publishers of all sizes.
The launch line-up is:
Monday, Jan 12: Mystery Publisher
Tuesday, Jan 13: Eric Stone
Wednesday, Jan 14: Agent Lucienne Diver
Thursday, Jan 15: Barrie Summy
Saturday, Jan 17: Elysabeth Eldering
Monday, Jan 19: Mystery Publisher
Tuesday, Jan 20: Traci E Hall
Wednesday, Jan 21: Maggie Stiefvater
Thursday, Jan 22: Agent Nathan Bransford
Friday, Jan 23: Jennifer Macaire
We hope to see you there!!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Random Funny Things My Kids Say - Part 20
Some of you may remember this little funny thing that happened last year, which I posted about in my very first Random Funny Things My kids say. I post it here again as a lead in to the newest Angus escapade.:
Explosive secret:
My middle child came home and told me she had to tell me a secret. I asked her what was up. She said, “At school today I had to fart but I didn’t want to fart at my station cause I knew it would smell bad so I went to another station and farted and then ran away. But I didn’t know it would be SO stinky. I thought it would just be a little stinky. But it was really bad! It smelled like lots and lots of boiled eggs! Lots of them! I didn’t know my fart could smell like that! And then Grant said Phillip did a stinky fart and Phillip said Nuh, uh and that Grant must have done it and then everyone started going ‘ill, ill, someone farted!’ and teacher got so mad at both of them she gave them both letters (the school gives out letters for bad behavior). And she had to open the window to let some air in. But I didn’t tell anyone that it was me who did the stinky fart and Grant and Phillip got in trouble. I was too scared to admit that it was me that done it. Was that bad? Will God be angry with me? Mommy? Mommy why are you crying?”
Secrets and Lies - Angus strikes again
So after dinner with some friends at the mall last night, I stopped by the makeup counter at Nordstrom's to buy some eyeliner. The nice Lancome lady commented on my beautiful girls and offered up some lip gloss. First she put some on Oldest who beamed happily, then she offered some to Angus who immediately ran off to a mirror at another counter. As I raised Youngest up to get her coating of luscious pink delight, a sudden horrendously foul smell hit me. My eyes began to water and I stare into the shocked and frozen expression of the Lancome lady before me. I glance at Youngest and Oldest, they were blinking their eyes and rubbing their noses. I stare back at the Lancome lady who is still frozen, but her face has begun to melt from the fumes. Copious eyeliner and mascara flow like lava down her perfect skin.
The smell finally begins to fade and Youngest starts to squirm, pressing forward with lips puckered. Lancome lady automatically applies lip gloss to Youngest's cupid bow. I put down Youngest and stumble back, wiping the tears away from my eyes while Lancome lady flees the scene with her melted face, barely taking in the girls thank yous. Angus finally saunters back. Oldest immediately goes on the attack.
"I can't believe you farted and ran away!!!"
"I didn't!" Angus shouts. "It wasn't me!"
I'm rushing the girls out of the store as fast as I can before Lancome lady decides to call in a poison gas attack to Homeland security. We run into the car all the while Angus is protesting her innocence. As we are driving away a horrendous stench befouls the entire car and I quickly roll down the windows as I gag and wheeze.
"PEEEEEEEE EWWWWWWW! I guess my farts do stink!" Angus begins to laugh. "I think I have to go to the bathroom."
"Please do not fart again," I insist, "Or you may have an accident."
"Well you better hurry then!"
"You're killing me!" I say as I speed up.
"Ooops!" she says and begins to laugh again. "Mommy's gonna vomit! Mommy's gonna vomit!"
"There's something terribly wrong with you," Oldest says from the back of the car.
I agree. I think she takes after her father.
Explosive secret:
My middle child came home and told me she had to tell me a secret. I asked her what was up. She said, “At school today I had to fart but I didn’t want to fart at my station cause I knew it would smell bad so I went to another station and farted and then ran away. But I didn’t know it would be SO stinky. I thought it would just be a little stinky. But it was really bad! It smelled like lots and lots of boiled eggs! Lots of them! I didn’t know my fart could smell like that! And then Grant said Phillip did a stinky fart and Phillip said Nuh, uh and that Grant must have done it and then everyone started going ‘ill, ill, someone farted!’ and teacher got so mad at both of them she gave them both letters (the school gives out letters for bad behavior). And she had to open the window to let some air in. But I didn’t tell anyone that it was me who did the stinky fart and Grant and Phillip got in trouble. I was too scared to admit that it was me that done it. Was that bad? Will God be angry with me? Mommy? Mommy why are you crying?”
So after dinner with some friends at the mall last night, I stopped by the makeup counter at Nordstrom's to buy some eyeliner. The nice Lancome lady commented on my beautiful girls and offered up some lip gloss. First she put some on Oldest who beamed happily, then she offered some to Angus who immediately ran off to a mirror at another counter. As I raised Youngest up to get her coating of luscious pink delight, a sudden horrendously foul smell hit me. My eyes began to water and I stare into the shocked and frozen expression of the Lancome lady before me. I glance at Youngest and Oldest, they were blinking their eyes and rubbing their noses. I stare back at the Lancome lady who is still frozen, but her face has begun to melt from the fumes. Copious eyeliner and mascara flow like lava down her perfect skin.
The smell finally begins to fade and Youngest starts to squirm, pressing forward with lips puckered. Lancome lady automatically applies lip gloss to Youngest's cupid bow. I put down Youngest and stumble back, wiping the tears away from my eyes while Lancome lady flees the scene with her melted face, barely taking in the girls thank yous. Angus finally saunters back. Oldest immediately goes on the attack.
"I can't believe you farted and ran away!!!"
"I didn't!" Angus shouts. "It wasn't me!"
I'm rushing the girls out of the store as fast as I can before Lancome lady decides to call in a poison gas attack to Homeland security. We run into the car all the while Angus is protesting her innocence. As we are driving away a horrendous stench befouls the entire car and I quickly roll down the windows as I gag and wheeze.
"PEEEEEEEE EWWWWWWW! I guess my farts do stink!" Angus begins to laugh. "I think I have to go to the bathroom."
"Please do not fart again," I insist, "Or you may have an accident."
"Well you better hurry then!"
"You're killing me!" I say as I speed up.
"Ooops!" she says and begins to laugh again. "Mommy's gonna vomit! Mommy's gonna vomit!"
"There's something terribly wrong with you," Oldest says from the back of the car.
I agree. I think she takes after her father.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Please Help!!!
One of our very own, Travis Erwin, the wonderful blogger of One Word, One Rung, One Day fame, has suffered a terrible loss. While he and his family are safe, they have lost everything they own in a house fire that has left them homeless. There are many of us worrying about him and Erica Orloff, Stephen Parrish, Chris Eldin, Natasha Fondren, Merry Monteleon and Moonrat have been brainstorming on what we as a community can do. Stephen has done a great job setting up a place to make donations to help Travis during this terrible time. I know these are tough times. They are tough for me too! But the thought of being homeless, especially with small kids, is devastating and I want to do all I can to help. Think of your house and everything in it, and now think of losing it all. That is what happened. So please, donate and help rebuild not just their homes, but their lives.
Habitat for Travis
Thank you!
Habitat for Travis
Thank you!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
So...
Charles asked me why I changed my blog address. Well I did it at the advice of my agent who felt that Random Acts of Unkindness was not a good address for a young adult author to have. It took me longer than I needed to switch over because I hated to give up the snarkiness of my old blog, but I did a little impromptu poll with some parents and was told overwhelmingly that they wouldn't be too keen on their kid going to a blog with that title even knowing what it is I wrote, and even though I did clean up my posts. One friend even said that there was something raunchy and vaguely lascivious about my blog title. Well I tend to disagree - I mean it says unkindness right? Sheesh, what a deviant! If it said random acts of kindness - well maybe that would make more sense. No wait, that's some goody two shoes charitable/religious thing, not the kindness I was thinking about, beg pardon.
So I gave in and finally made the move. Like I mentioned earlier, my name blogspot was taken by spammers - BOO SPAMMERS!!! - and Hello Ello my second choice was also taken. And here we are!
Tomorrow the kids are all back in school. Cue music:
Yes I know this is really more appropriate for September. Yes I know it was only a week and a half. Yes I really do love love Love my children. But I'm so happy that they are going back to school I could cry. Please cue music again...
So I gave in and finally made the move. Like I mentioned earlier, my name blogspot was taken by spammers - BOO SPAMMERS!!! - and Hello Ello my second choice was also taken. And here we are!
Tomorrow the kids are all back in school. Cue music:
Yes I know this is really more appropriate for September. Yes I know it was only a week and a half. Yes I really do love love Love my children. But I'm so happy that they are going back to school I could cry. Please cue music again...
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Breaking out the New Year with a Brand New Blog!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
So if my redirect worked, it should have brought you here, to Hello Ello 2, my new home. Welcome, welcome! I've missed you all! I've missed the blog. But I have been a good Mommy, scheduling back to back playdates (which I absolutely despise and dread), even having 3 simultaneous playdates (horror of horrors) and am just barely retaining my sanity. I don't know how other Moms schedule playdates every day during the holidays. Dealing with my own kids is difficult enough, dealing with other people's kids and your own requires certain saintly qualities that I apparently have not been blessed with.
Back to my new blog. Nothing should have changed significantly.
Aerin,
aka Wonder Woman, who has been so awesome to help me, imported everything over beautifully and if anything is screwy, it is entirely my own inept fault. Like the linky love. I can't seem to just cut and paste the list, confound you Blogger! That means I have to rebuild linky love. This goes completely against my sin of sloth. I has such a headache just thinking about it!
So I will have to rebuild my links back up slowly and I will ask you for your help. If you have linked to me or followed me in the past, may I ask you very kindly to link and/or follow my new blog? Leave me a comment and I will make sure to link you up asap. And I will need help to make sure I capture everyone so if you don't see your link on my side bar, it is not intentional, it is simply stupidity and sloth. So help a girl out, won't ya? Thank you all very kindly!
By the way, since my girls have found my blog, I've been forced by Da Man to clean up my blog. I've been searching out some of my more colorful word choices and found that there were over 250 uses of a certain foul excrement word in my previous blog posts. In fact, I found one post where I used excrement a total of 20 times. Sheesh that took forever to clean out. And additionally there were approximately 90 posts using a word that rhymes with luck. Who knew I was so foul mouthed? Apparently everyone but me.
But as we are starting the New Year and a New Blog, I decided that I will share something with all of you. My dirty little secret.
Sometimes I am a real stinker of a Mommy.I have lots of examples of being a stinker, but here is one that still cracks me up. It earns me the glare of other Mommy disapproval if they were to know about it but I don't care.
Youngest has this little Oreo cookie ritual. She likes to open up the chocolate cookies so that the cream side is up. She will open 3 or 4 in a row and then she likes to carve out half the cream onto the naked cookie so that all her chocolate cookies now have at least an equal amout of white cream on each cookie. Only then will she eat them. (Yeah, I have OCD and each of my kids have some form of it. As OCD goes, this is pretty mild.) Well I take joy in waiting until Youngest has opened all her cookies and then I distract her by shouting out "Angus is playing with your brand new Barbie kitchen set!" or some other nonsense like that, at which point she runs off to protect her toys, leaving her cookies unguarded. I quickly eat all the cream off of her cookies and then run and hide. Oldest disapproves and tells me I am terrible. She is right.
When Youngest comes back, she throws an extraordinary temper tantrum on finding that all the cream has been eaten and all she has are sad little naked cookies. Now she no longer wants to eat them, which works for Oldest who likes only the cookie part anyway. Oldest scoops up the cookies and eats them and Youngest begins to cry.
After I have finished laughing, I dry her tears and bring out some more Oreo cookies for Youngest to eat. I've pulled this trick on Youngest in many different variations as she has gotten more and more distrustful of me. Sometimes I pretend I'm just trying to help her, other times I snatch the cream side out of her hand and stuff it in my mouth. I just love to see how indignant she gets. And yes, I am such a big stinker.
The other day, Youngest got an oreo cookie and opened it and said "Here Mommy, I got your favorite cookie for you! Open wide!" holding the cream side up in front of my mouth. I gladly opened up when suddenly she pulls a fast switcheroo and shoves the naked no cream side of the cookie into my mouth at the same time she shoves the yummy cream filled one into hers.
"Ha Ha!" she shouts gleefully.
The little stinker got me. I'm so proud. It's times like this that bring tears of joy to my eyes.
Don't forget to pop by Jason's writing contest over at The Clarity of Night. The competition is always amazing and the prizes are terrific!
So if my redirect worked, it should have brought you here, to Hello Ello 2, my new home. Welcome, welcome! I've missed you all! I've missed the blog. But I have been a good Mommy, scheduling back to back playdates (which I absolutely despise and dread), even having 3 simultaneous playdates (horror of horrors) and am just barely retaining my sanity. I don't know how other Moms schedule playdates every day during the holidays. Dealing with my own kids is difficult enough, dealing with other people's kids and your own requires certain saintly qualities that I apparently have not been blessed with.
Back to my new blog. Nothing should have changed significantly.
Aerin,
aka Wonder Woman, who has been so awesome to help me, imported everything over beautifully and if anything is screwy, it is entirely my own inept fault. Like the linky love. I can't seem to just cut and paste the list, confound you Blogger! That means I have to rebuild linky love. This goes completely against my sin of sloth. I has such a headache just thinking about it!So I will have to rebuild my links back up slowly and I will ask you for your help. If you have linked to me or followed me in the past, may I ask you very kindly to link and/or follow my new blog? Leave me a comment and I will make sure to link you up asap. And I will need help to make sure I capture everyone so if you don't see your link on my side bar, it is not intentional, it is simply stupidity and sloth. So help a girl out, won't ya? Thank you all very kindly!
By the way, since my girls have found my blog, I've been forced by Da Man to clean up my blog. I've been searching out some of my more colorful word choices and found that there were over 250 uses of a certain foul excrement word in my previous blog posts. In fact, I found one post where I used excrement a total of 20 times. Sheesh that took forever to clean out. And additionally there were approximately 90 posts using a word that rhymes with luck. Who knew I was so foul mouthed? Apparently everyone but me.
But as we are starting the New Year and a New Blog, I decided that I will share something with all of you. My dirty little secret.
Youngest has this little Oreo cookie ritual. She likes to open up the chocolate cookies so that the cream side is up. She will open 3 or 4 in a row and then she likes to carve out half the cream onto the naked cookie so that all her chocolate cookies now have at least an equal amout of white cream on each cookie. Only then will she eat them. (Yeah, I have OCD and each of my kids have some form of it. As OCD goes, this is pretty mild.) Well I take joy in waiting until Youngest has opened all her cookies and then I distract her by shouting out "Angus is playing with your brand new Barbie kitchen set!" or some other nonsense like that, at which point she runs off to protect her toys, leaving her cookies unguarded. I quickly eat all the cream off of her cookies and then run and hide. Oldest disapproves and tells me I am terrible. She is right.
When Youngest comes back, she throws an extraordinary temper tantrum on finding that all the cream has been eaten and all she has are sad little naked cookies. Now she no longer wants to eat them, which works for Oldest who likes only the cookie part anyway. Oldest scoops up the cookies and eats them and Youngest begins to cry.
After I have finished laughing, I dry her tears and bring out some more Oreo cookies for Youngest to eat. I've pulled this trick on Youngest in many different variations as she has gotten more and more distrustful of me. Sometimes I pretend I'm just trying to help her, other times I snatch the cream side out of her hand and stuff it in my mouth. I just love to see how indignant she gets. And yes, I am such a big stinker.
The other day, Youngest got an oreo cookie and opened it and said "Here Mommy, I got your favorite cookie for you! Open wide!" holding the cream side up in front of my mouth. I gladly opened up when suddenly she pulls a fast switcheroo and shoves the naked no cream side of the cookie into my mouth at the same time she shoves the yummy cream filled one into hers.
"Ha Ha!" she shouts gleefully.
The little stinker got me. I'm so proud. It's times like this that bring tears of joy to my eyes.
Don't forget to pop by Jason's writing contest over at The Clarity of Night. The competition is always amazing and the prizes are terrific!
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