Sometimes when I drive, the Brooklyn in me just comes out. Like the other day. I've got the green light and I'm making a right turn. I have right of way. But the idiot girl coming from the other direction making a left turn seems to disagree. I drive a big ass minivan. She drives a small hatchback. When I make a right turn, I have to go into the middle lane, I'm just too big to fit nicely into the right lane. If you are going to make a left turn while someone is making a right turn, then the rules of the road dictate that you hug the left lane because you technically don't have right of way. She did not. She swung all the way over to the right lane (3 lanes over!!!) and came within a hairs breath of smashing into me.
I lost it and the Brooklyn in me came out. Unfortunately all 3 girls were in the car at the time. Oldest, who sits in the 3rd row, quickly leans forward and covers Youngest's ears while Angus starts laughing hysterically.
Angus - Mommy, you said the F word, the B word, the S word and some words I never heard before!
Oldest - Daddy's going to be so mad at you.
Youngest - No fair! I didn't hear nothing!
Angus - You're too little. Mommy's mouth is now rated R for restricted.
Youngest - What does that mean?
Angus - It means if little kids hear her bad words Mommy will get arrested!
Youngest gasps loudly - Mommy's going to be arrested?
Angus - Only if we tell on her. (Rubs her hands gleefully.) Now she'll have to be nice to us.
Youngest - Yeah, we don't have to clean our rooms no more!
Oldest - You dopes. It doesn't mean she's going to be arrested. It just means little kids can't see an R movie without an adult.
Angus (whispering to Youngest) - She always spoils our fun.
Youngest - We should call her one of those words Mommy used.
Me - DON'T YOU DARE!!!
12 comments:
Oh my word, that's hysterical! I love: you said the F word, the B word, the S word and some words I never heard before!
That was a great laugh to start my day.
I like that Oldest is the Potty Mouth Police.
I am looking upon you sternly, with a smile.
LOVE these segments, Ellen!
They always make me smile, even if I'm fighting off tension from my own road rage this morning. ;)
My favorite part:
No fair! I didn't hear nothing!
LOL! I love your family. they crack me up! Too (mommy word) cute.
haha!! Love these stories!
That first line is classic! I so adore your girls. I remember having to have a few conversations about curse words. Evidently I used a few that J picked up and repeated in front of my parents when they were visiting. And it's really hard to blame school mates when I'm the only one who speaks English. ^^;
OMG that is hilarious!
Sometimes you just gotta let the Brooklyn hang out. Hysterical. (Watch out for the popo!!!) And I just used a word Kevein Federline made up*. It must be time for bed. Thanks for sharing. This post made me laugh, made my night.
* or his marketeers
wags finger in your direction! ;) lol
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